Dating people with schizophrenia

Do you think we “have” to tell people we’re dating that we have schizophrenia even if it’s well managed? Maybe we are only supposed to date other people with schizophrenia so they wouldn’t even care.

I’m not sure if it has to be the first thing out of your mouth, but I do think it’s important to let them know. I mean, if you want a relationship with someone, it’s important to be honest with them

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I gauged my wife (then-girlfriend) at the time, and figured it would be okay to tell her fairly upfront. Like on the second or third date. It wasn’t an issue at all. It just depends on the person.

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I deal with the same issue. I think it’s important they know if you’re in it for a serious relationship, or if your friends first and you were already comfortable to say something about it.

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No don’t tell anyone.
If they don’t like the whole package, tell them to move on.
If you fall in love, you will have intimate conversations about many things.
Everyone has their ‘skeletons in the closet’

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I’m rethinking my first answer. I don’t think you have to tell them anything. Just tell them that the invisible man, who lives in your head, needs to have a talk with them.

If they are still there when you finish that sentence, you should be okay.

LOL!

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LOLthats hillarious

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That’s funny @Anxiety_Orange :smile:

I think there has to be some stigma barriers that need to come down, if they don’t get that you’re better off.

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This is some of the worst advice I’ve seen yet. Deceit is preferable in your book?

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If asked I don’t lie but I did not bring it up when I dated for 10 years.

There was plenty of other things to talk about.
I was not deceitful in any way with my friends and boyfriends.

I learned not to tell employers because the mere mention of it made me lose a job. It’s none of their business if I can do the job.
I never lie.

And if you get a bleeding heart medal for telling people in real life, more power to you.

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I actually agree with Katwomansz. There is a major stigma with this illness to think otherwise is foolish, I’m not saying you shouldn’t tell them if it gets serious but with that being said I’d prefer deceit over not getting past a second date with a side of bone breaking humiliation.

If you are seriously ill or in assisted living do you have to tell?

There may be natural questions that can be honestly answered.
But do you blurt out o by the way I have sz?

If i was doing so well, I hadn’t been hospitalized in 9 years, it just wasn’t a topic of conversation.

The medicines these days and pretty good. I always tried to blend in with real life. I didn’t tell my job at first it’s none of their business

I had worked there 3 years until my first hospitalization. It was only after my second hospitalization that they had seen some symptoms so I had to tell them to explain it.
Any other job would probably fire you because they don’t need the liability. But I had proved good performance.

So should I have hired a lawyer to prove descrimination before ? Good luck if that happens to you. They will come up with performance issues to back their case and hire a better lawyer than you.

if i met a girl and we were thinking about getting together she would probably find my med boxes and things in the drawer, like you can’t keep things a secret forever i don’t think.

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Actually when I was very ill and symptomatic, I had a Great boyfriend that did know. Then he mentioned he had a brother with sz too. But we talked about a great many things. Sz just never came up because I really wasn’t sure what it was at the time.

Years back I think maybe that’s the only reason he put up with my weird behavior? But love has curative powers I believe.

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When we were engaged and I was getting something I found all my husbands Valium pills. That didn’t make me break it off. There are many things about people that can be far worse than an illness.

A persons personality and goodness and love is more important. Looks may be important at first but that won’t last for 25 years. Hopefully you grow old together.

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Well personally I’d want my partner to know. I’ve not had an ep in a long time but I know I might have another episode and if I do I’d want them to know what’s going on so at least they are not left in the dark. I also know not everyone is understanding so if want to find out sooner than later if it’s something they’d be able to support me with. Just my opinion.

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I’ve tried all three basic approaches. Tell the first date, tell after a month or so, and don’t tell.

It really just depends on the person you are dating. Some other minority groups are less likely to think poorly of you because of it (this is a thing in psychology of prejudice) and some very uh conventional and conservative people will think poorly of you more often than people who are more “outside the box” or whatever.

But the real problem I have had is getting into a relationship and then telling them and then experiencing a really bad reaction like an immediate break up. That’s a risk, and it happens sometimes.

Or you can go looking for other mentally ill people. I can say that works fairly well. But the downside is that they’re mentally ill too. That means super mentally ill kids and some drama at some point. But it also means they understand you better and are more likely to be accepting.

It also just depends on you, you other than schizophrenia- this is last, but probably most important.

I won’t be dating for a long time. I was quite promiscuous for a good while and had a serious relationship or two. I will be finding out where on earth I will be for the next five or six years this coming semester, so I can’t have anything holding me down. That, and relationships are pretty big emotional investments. But just sleeping around is more like a dangerous sport. If that’s your thing, go ahead. I don’t judge.

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I think if you intend to have a long term relationship with anyone it’s important they know you have a brain disorder that can sometimes be serious so it doesn’t just come as a surprise to them one day you maybe got apprehended by police and sent to the psych ward in a worst case scenario.

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Also I would not advise telling someone straight away but I did this recently to two different people before I even met them. One didn’t get back to me after I told him but I’m still talking to the other one. He works in the mi field and is a dr. I’ve not met him yet but plan to soon. It doesn’t bother everyone.

No surprise there the doctor was cool with it but the other wasn’t since the media makes us out to be serial killers to the ignorant.