Tell a joke thread

Lounge
1

Why did the orange stop ?

cause it ran out of juice

I know I know its lame.

8 Likes
2

what’s the best way to tell a nun in the crowd

she has no habit.

3 Likes
3

What’s the difference between a republican and a Democrat? A republican sucks a Democrat blows.

5 Likes
4

5 Likes
5

Haha that was a funny meme

1 Like
6

I would tell a few, but there filthy and liable to be flagged lol. So ill read your lot instead :stuck_out_tongue:

2 Likes
7

Mom, when did the universe start?

When God wanted to Bang his head.

2 Likes
8

What’s a trees favourite drink?

Root beer

9 Likes
9

What do they call a nut on your chest?

A chestnut

What do they call a nut on the wall?

A walnut

What do they call a nut in your mouth?

A doughnut

7 Likes
10

what’s the best way to determine you’re successful

you pushed the envelope and it went to the wrong address.

What do you call a latch key kid

someone who knew how to open a can of worms.

2 Likes
11

I’m Canadian. The joke I wrote was…

"Canadians are so polite, we say ‘thank you’ to ATM Machines.

2 Likes
12

OK guys. This thread proves that schizophrenics have no sense of humor? I don’t want to believe it lol

2 Likes
13

What is it about being blind that makes you want to walk the dog the whole time?

1 Like
14

I’m lousy at telling jokes. My sense of humor was the first thing to go when I got diagnosed with schizophrenia.

2 Likes
15

What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?

Aye matey.

A fish swam into a concrete wall and said, damn.

2 Likes
16

Son: Mom?

Mom: Yes.

Son: Why is there a long white rat with a big red nose double wrapped in tissue paper and buried at the bottom of the bathroom trash can?

Mom: :thinking:

2 Likes
17

A woman walked into a library and asked if there were any books on paranoia. The librarian said, “sure! They’re right behind you”.

6 Likes
18

This thread needs to be closed!

Why?

It’s a joke :thinking:

1 Like
19

If Susan has five apples and Joe has six

Why won’t they just shut up and eat?

2 Likes
20

What do you call a man with his ding a ling stuck in a watermelon?

A. Christopher.

( Joke. I’m the last thing close to being a comedian ) - A complex joke a favorite of mine by the team responsible for the Young Ones…if you remember that UK madness!