Talking to a delusional person- long post!

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Hi. I don’t have schizophrenia myself but I have been wondering about how I should talk to a person who is telling me about their delusions. I have been worrying that I could be making delusions worse…

I work in a pub/restaurant not far from a psychiatric care home and have come to know a regular customer who lives there. He comes about twice a week and seems to really like me and we talk together.

However he has said things to me about how he thinks he’s God, how he’s talked to Winston Churchill from the grave and Kim Jong Un spoke to him through the tv etc. He has acknowledged that he is delusional but only on occasion. Despite all that he seems fairly happy and is very friendly.

He asked me about my thoughts on the war in Syria today and mentioned his interest in Islam (he’s talked about Islam before and says it’s almost the perfect religion). I brought up that I was Jewish and have family who are/were Syrian refugees. Later he walked past and told me he’d just heard through the tv (there’s a couple of tvs in the pub) that he’s descended from Latvian Jews- after having told me his family were Irish and Scottish a few minutes earlier. He has asked me recently if I worship the devil and has said he thinks I have ‘hidden darkness’. He asks me out on dates and before he left today he said I should take him to a synagogue- in response I usually laugh and make a sarcastic comment back because he’s 20 years older than me, and I do think he’s half joking.

When he tells me about his delusions I don’t ask questions but I do nod my head and say ‘oh wow that’s cool’ or something and change the subject.

Am I approaching this situation correctly? Should I be avoiding topics like religion when he’s obviously had/has religious delusions? I really care about isolated communities especially the mentally ill but don’t want to make situations worse. I also don’t want to ice this guy out and stop talking to him altogether because I know most people think he’s either an alcoholic or crazy and will avoid him. What should I do?

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He probably shouldn’t be seeking extra therapy in a pub/restaurant. But I know being stern with him would be tough because you can’t really get away. This is a hard one to answer. You may eventually need to have someone intervene though. Wish I could be more helpful…

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The main point to me is that you will never be able to talk him out of his delusions. So you kind of go along. You may make a brief comment against the delusions and I think he will probably just ignore that. The delusions may sometimes get less prominent. They go under the surface. When a patient is doing well he or she usually talks less about delusions.

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I don’t think you will make it worse unless you agree with the delusion.

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I don’t agree with it but I act like it is true. For example if he says he gets messages through the tv I will say “oh really? Wow”. Should I be telling him it’s not possible?

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I purposely don’t watch the news. Are we really at war in Syria now? I heard it was just air strikes.

You are probably going to be referred to the family forum. A moderator will post the link.

This site is for those with some form of the illness.

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Hi, @12345. I’d like to encourage you to join our forum for Family and Caregivers that can be found at:

While this is a peer support forum for people with schizophrenia and other closely related psychotic disorders, the Family forum is specifically for people like yourself, who have a loved one they are concerned about.

Also, please let your loved one know about this forum as they may find it helpful.

Best of luck,

Ninjastar
Volunteer Moderator

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