I think the foster home staff want to kill me sometimes
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this makes sense, paranoia is crippling for me as well. i can feel like every person i see on the street wants to shoot me. keep fighting the thoughts and hang in there. something that helps me is thinking “what is the likelihood this would happen?” or “what is their motive for killing me?” these questions help ground me in reality again
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thanks for advice
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of course! i wish you well 
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This this thinking happen recently? Are you on meds?
I feel like if you follow this thought back with a counselor you will find unhealed trust issues, sometimes even if you thought you forgive someone it takes a few times to forgive deeply enough to disconnect from the trama.
I ground myself by asking what is useful about this thought. But often it’s just about me forgiving, letting go of judgement and retraining my thoughts ( I used to have to remind myself not to demonize others, just change the parts of me that I can).
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@Crystal-Cotton Why do you believe they want to kill you?
I don’t even know
Hello @Zelda 
They tell me it’s a false reflection of loneliness/rejection ie nobody wants me becomes everyone is out to get me. It doesn’t work for me, I’m a raging paranoiac 24/7 but their “reasoning” sounds logical. Problem being: MI isn’t logical 
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What would happen if everytime you felt paranoid you tried to heal it like a scared child with nightmares? If yout tell *it first that your safe, you have your needs met & you actually fine in this moment?
Then you need to OWN it, YOU have energy to put forward;
-you can use it to see the worst parts of people or to *choose to see the good and common threads in others. It’s a takes some time to re-train those thoughts, but it’s very doable…I’ve done it. Like everything it takes time to make the switch a new habit but everytime you do it it’s easier.
When you feel the fear start to come in, take charge of it. If you face it in the moment and ask it questions like a child…you can calm it and make it brave. Then you can start to see others and the world differently and open more enjoyments.
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Not on meds atm
Why are you not on meds? No judgement, just wondering.
I’m on a lot of meds, none of them even touch the paranoia - I’ve had it forever, don’t really expect it to ever go away
I’m now on meds
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What’s the solution they came up with medwise ?
They just put me back on clozapine
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And now you’re able to swallow the pills?
No they’re mixed with water
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Is there a solution for your swallowing problem in the making or did they just say that you have to live with it?
Idk of any of that
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