Ah wtf I think i’ll be living with this illness for the rest of my life. If I get on disability I’ll just have more days like this where I’ve got nothing to do. It is kind of nice to be free from responsibility, but wtf… I’m not suicidal but wtf. My life is ■■■■■■. I guess I should start writing. Maybe become a science fiction writer.
sounds like a plan Bryan i love scifi or is it psyfi lol
I’ve had it for 34 years. I still do stuff.
I’ve been on disability for ten years and I still lived a life, I didn’t just sit around the whole time. Though if it weren’t for those I met in treatment programs I would have been pretty isolated.
I myself these days enjoy being involved in the lives of others who live with mental illness, that tends to keep me busy and is rewarding. I consider it my career really.
And while the illness it’s self may be permanent that doesn’t mean the symptoms are, I still have sz even though I don’t normally experience symptoms anymore.
Yeah thanks guys I’ll keep at it. This last year of my life is a huge void to live down. I gotta get plugged back in but I’m not really sure where to start. I’ve always been a person with limited interests. I used to pass the time taking drugs. I’m glad that has changed. Now it’s just coffee and smokes. If I get on disability and get over all the anxieties I feel when I’m in public maybe I can get around to having more of a life. Hey at least I’ve got some decent friends. I kind of have to put the effort forth to track them down but when I do they are pretty chill and entertaining. I’ll get better at being a professional house cat.
Of course you are lucky to have friends. Having friends is invaluable. Not all of us have friends. And all you can do is keep living. I’ve been through many rough spots where I had very little going for me. I lucked out and made it through. You know full well that life is full of ups and downs.When we are at our lowest points we can’t see that it will probably not stay that way even though you could get a hundred testimonials on how people went through the same thing you did but their life got better. I wish you good luck and stay away from drugs. They may be a quick fix but they are inevitably and eventually a waste of time and effort.
You needed the time off to stabilize. The fact that your looking to getting plugged back in is a good sign and a first step.
You’ll find something that gets you back in the swing. Plus if you get disability… that doesn’t mean you have to stay on it forever. When I was on SSI, I still went to vocational training and day hospital outings. I still volunteered and ended up with a part time job that didn’t pay more then the alloted by my benefits.
It took a while, but I had to re-enter the pool slowly. I have a feeling you will end up back on your feet. Just be patient with yourself…
Congratulations staying away from drugs. Not an easy task, but it will open more doors to you.