I haven’t been psychotic in a while now and I lose track of how bad it feels. I forget how desperate and lost I get. Then I read something on here from someone in crisis and it reminds me how fragile I am. How close to losing it all I really am. We are all just one moment away from another break really. I’m so glad we have each other in the good times and the bad times.
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I still remember psychosis very clearly from both first and second relapse
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My last break was barely a year ago, but I remember pretty vividly how desperate I felt and how scary it all was. I’ve fought with myself many times to go off my meds or switch meds, but then I remembered how awful I felt and I always take my meds. No way would I willingly go back there.
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Good written
151515
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Yes. This.
I remember it all very vividly and hope I never go back. I am hoping that when I find a full-time job it comes with long-term disability as a benefit, JUST IN CASE. I’m only 48, so I have about another 20 years to make it in the workforce.
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I’m lucky someone didn’t seriously hurt me when I was on one of my breaks. I go beyond obnoxious to offensive when that happens.
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I thought schizophrenics are always psychotic. It seems the energy drinks might make me more psychotic but it helps me deal with the negative feelings, which is independent of the actual negative symptoms, and actually makes them worse. I’m tired enough as it already is. Maybe they make me more tired? My doctors have told me this.
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No, szs are not always psychotic. Thankfully I have large chunks of time where I’m normal.
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I know what you mean I forget too sometimes and then something reminds me of how fragile things are, like a memory of how scared I was during psychosis…
… Nicely written 
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