Social etiquette and the effects of isolation

I spend 99% of my time alone. Hence very little interaction with others. Result -an increasing inability to know how to be socially with others. Some might call this a social etiquette deficit. I am never quite sure how to behave with other people. I am hyper aware that this could be a problem in terms of being socially acceptable.
I feel a little like Tarzan taken out of the jungle and thrust into polite company .

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Have u tried Sarcosine like supplement… it’s good for negative symptoms of Sz…!!!

Won’t try it because of the prostate links. I have several genotypes that put me at increased risk.

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I remember someone told me that web forum is one of the way to socialize with others. I am not sure if written exchanges have the benefit like that of conversations.

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I can socialise better online than I can face to face. With face to face there’s a lot of non verbal stuff going on that I’m not good at.

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I don’t care about that.

They expect you to assimilate and i don’t like that.

This is one herd i will not follow.

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This is going to sound silly(Yes I’m an idiot) but one major concern is how I present my self physically when staying at anyone’s for a few days. When to change clothes, when it’s acceptable to be in sleep wear and dressing gown(ie should I get dressed in the morning before going downstairs to the living area?). Here , I am very much a slob when it comes to things like clothes and hygiene.

Then there is the issue of navigating my way around the place. Being able to remember which room they’ve given me to sleep in ,where the bathroom/toilet is . My sister’s place is much larger than mine with more rooms and floors, and the bigger the place the harder I find it to navigate around.

I think I should post a twat icon as that’s what I am, but I don’t think there is one.

I think what you are saying is “social norm”. It needs constant observation, IMO.

I’m exactly the same way. I have the same problem. I’ve found that the times in my life when I have gotten the weirdest were the times when I had been isolated. I’ve found that when I am isolated I don’t get the kind of normal checks on my behavior that people get when they socialize. I got weird because of that.

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Twat Twat Twat Twat Twat Useless freak Useless freak Twat Twat Useless freak No good .

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You’re a regular contributor, far from being useless. :relaxed:

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I think socialization gets better with time if you spend your time with people. There are good days and bad days, but you need to stay positive and socialize. CBT works a lot (for me at least) to destroy negative thoughts. Sometimes we think: “I’m being weird!” or “I’m a schizophrenic! I don’t deserve to have a conversation with this person.”, and CBT helps us to think in a different way.

Once a social freak/misfit always a social freak/misfit. If you’re socially challenged there just isn’t much help out there.

I’m also 99% of the time inside my home.
I am not social at all in “real life”. I hate pretending to be someone that I’m not. That’s how I felt when I used to go outside and have some sort of “friends” a long time ago.

I had to censor myself and tell myself in my head that I had to change my facial expressions to look personable to others.
It was a constant struggle and very stressful to me. I felt like I was acting the whole time. I wasn’t myself at all.
The whole “fake it til you make it” ideal is BS to me. It hurt me more than anything.

if they made a cure for sz i know i would be able to go back to socializing like nothing

lucky I’m an American who doesn’t go outside too often, so I don’t have to care much about social etiquette :wink:

I also have my younger brother to talk to

Join the club, my friend. :mask:

If you have good intentions, then you will be fine in the vast majority of cases, I think. In my own observations of human interactions throughout my life, it seems that most of the subtle little ‘checks’ and ‘signs’ people give and look for in others are largely about motive/intent. Seems that most people more than an anything else want to know that they can trust you, that you respect them and that you care about others.

I mean sure, human cultures have developed all sorts of little gestures and things to communicate that sort of thing, like for example the tradition of not wearing a hat in a building back in the day, so that way taking off one’s hat was a way to show respect for everyone else in the building. Or like how jeans are considered inappropriate for most job interviews, so by not wearing jeans you show that you take the interview seriously. And so on.

But with interpersonal stuff, most of the time if you are socially clueless, people will still be focused on your intent. If you do something ‘weird’ but don’t mean any harm by it, then they might think it is ‘weird’ but won’t dislike you for it. Whereas you could be the most ‘normal’ seeming person in the world, but if you don’t respect or care about others, it will reflect in your attitude. Subtle things that give it away.

So just like some of us can’t ‘fake’ being totally ‘normal’ in some ways, at the same time, most people will be able to perceive if we have good intentions, even if we don’t feel confident that we come across the right way. Seems to make things difficult in professional settings like job interviews, but with friendship and such, it shouldn’t be an issue. There are some very uppity, judgemental people out there, but they tend to not make for great friends, anyway.

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Every day is a new day.
Every day is a new start.
You have to start being a little social so that it will pay-off in the long run.

I always wondered what the REAL relatinship was between Cheetah and Tarzan. I have a sad, sneaky suspicion that it was illegal in 45 states in the U.S. and banned in 62 countries across the world.

Anyways, a lot of life is under your control. And people want to help you. I bet you that at least 50 people on this site would cheer you on and be on your side if you decided to work on being social. (and that is the absolute truth).

Even Hitler had friends and people who liked him even though he didn’t deserve it. You’re no Hitler.
I bet you’re as nice a guy as lots of other people.

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It’s cool that you’re able to admit you have this issue, I have it too but I think I am in denial. For me one thing which really messes me up is how unpredictable people can be, I have a hard time adjusting to changes in routine. I have spent the past year or two since I got this disease in almost complete isolation, before I got ill when I was prodromal I was almost completely isolated because of paranoia, the only person I would talk to was my brother. I feel like in the past 3 years I have lost all my social skills. One thing I used to do in the past was watch sitcoms with people in them, that helped me understand how people interact, additionally people in society watch TV and tend to try and act like their favorite characters. If you understand the reference from which most people are basing their actions it can help you be more in tune with what they expect from you.