So life is getting back to normal!

DX'd - Other
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I can go out and get a coffee without triggering any of my hallucinations. I can drive around without being bombarded with telepathic messages. I can even think about people a little bit without having any interference or response.

The one thing I can really do without confusion and hallucination is hang out with people. When I get in close I still feel like they are reading my mind. If it weren’t for the hallucination I’d say its completely irrational, but the perspective is sort of forced on me. For so long now that it is psychologically engrained. Everything passes through the filter, is this evidence its real? Most of the time I just have to ignore about 90% of whats going on in my experience if I want to remain positive and in control.

Having bouts of depression at night. Nobody really likes me kind of ■■■■■■■■. Really if I want to socialize I have to seek it out, no one hits me up on the regular to see how I’m doing. So I remain heavily isolated. Even around people, leaving me with nothing to do but contemplate the madness I’m going through.

One thing I did realize though is that I have been strong through out the whole process. It was pretty early on that I found the determination to get better and it took months upon months to figure out how, but now it is a plan that I am realizing.

The one things that annoys me is the tendency to fall back a bit once Ive had a couple good days. I find peace with myself and people, get bored and invite the hallucinations back in then I start to get depressed and irrational. Typically a good nights sleep sets me back on track. This leaves me afraid to get to involved with people because ill always need time to reboot.

Well I’m in a pretty good place to focus on recovery so my life is good. I have spending money and savings, a few friends, but most importantly time is on my side.

Good luck to you all.Hope you all can learn to cope with or recover from this ridiculous ailment.

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**I remember when you first started posting here.
You`ve made huge strides-I can see it ( or read it! )
You are doing very well! :sunny: **

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I know it’s frustrating when you get ahead and then it feels like a few steps back.

But from the outside looking in, you have made huge strides. You sound like your feeling much better.

It took me a while not to get completely frustrated from the days that didn’t go well. But as long as there are more good days then bad ones…

My sis used to mark the good days on a calendar… she wanted me to see that there was some progress being made the good was starting to out number the bad.

Make note of the good days… I’m glad your doing so well… may more good days come your way.

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yeah, it seems you at least “know” telepathy is not real in some sort of way. It took me about 3 years to totally break free from thinking delusional ideas or believing them. had a lot to do with meds. I went from Risperdal, to Abilify and then finally to the med I’m on now. Prolixin (fluphenazine generic) I feel great.

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Thanks for the responses guys.

The calendar idea is a great idea but I think I’m passed that point. Might have a bad day every week but my experience is only growing more consistent.

If they are telepaths they are just weird. The world could be a much better place. Alas they’re probably not.

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