Really trying to challenge my delusion and hallucinations

It’s not real. Telepathy is not real. I’m working on maintain this perspective and seeing people/the world for what it is. Been at it for a few days and I think it’s working a little bit. When its not I just ignore it. Getting more functional and less symptomatic by the day. It’s a real fight to not entertain this ■■■■ though. I’m tired of it being everywhere. Starting to feel a little more control, a little more like it is all in my head. Wish me luck people!

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I wish I had that strength of mind. You are doing great.

There are a few glitches that I still haven’t been able to shake. They still come back around on the wheel and get me again. I fall for it every time. Then when the sneaky brained thinking is over and I’m back on my feet… I’m so mad at myself… for falling for it.

Why do I keep believing some of the stuff I believe… no matter how many times it’s proven not to be the case.

You are doing a great job. Congratulations.

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Thanks dude. My mind wants me to believe its real that is for certain. I’m stronger at keeping the proper perspective in order now. Time alone without voices is proving invaluable. It gives me a chance to have a normal mind for a while. A regular flow of consciousness. Can’t play the game any more, can’t talk to it. Gotta show it I’m in control here. Hopefully confidence in disbelief will win out. Haven’t won the battle yet but I know I’m going to eventually and I’ll be better then I ever was.

Good luck in your struggles man. This illness is no fun, it’s inspiring to see how far you come even since I’ve joined the board.

This really is a great place for people to figure out how to recover. One of the nicest places on the net.

Thanks for all the encouragement man. It always gives me hope.

Keep trucking man.

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Both of you @SurprisedJ and @BryanAshley are doing very well,keep going and stay hopeful and strong,don’t let Stress,expectation and negative thoughts affect you guys,it’s the same for me too…

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Thanks GTX Keep truckin brutha.

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Thank you for that.

Good advice about the stress and negative thoughts.

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Half the battle is being aware they are just irrational thoughts. So something to be proud of yourself for.

I got further with ACT (acceptance and commitment therapy) approaches in breaking the thoughts up. Then fighting them with logic. Still a massive head game to get started though but more effective.

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Yeah, there has to be something I can do to break this up. So far I can change the location of the messages and give myself short break from it, glimpses of normality. Ultimately what is different now is I’m really starting to realize how on as subconscious level that it is absolutely not real, no way, no how, not for me, not for anyone. It took time to get here.

Thoughts have always been more my symptoms then anything. One of the therapies I tried was CBT and part of my homework was looking into ACT (acceptance and commitment therapy) Which is also part of the mindfulness approaches and available in the US and Australia and growing. One of the skills is to break up all sorts or our random thoughts even irrational ones of SZ by thinking things like “thinking” thanking your brain for coming up with incredible creative stories etc. It can be a bit of a mind game to get started but does work and gets easier as you go along. There are a few self help books available on it and will explain it better then I could. One in particular The happiness trap by Dr Russ Harris, Which I got out from my local city library. If your interested would be a good place to start and I’m sure it will help a great deal.

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I’m starting to win this battle, ultimately you just have to realize that it is yourself, that is the gateway to control. I think there is also a psychological level of being used to it you have to train yourself to get used to a normal experience. People still trigger it, but I must stand strong and realize its not them. I’ve come a long way in acceptance of the self, this has eventually led to the elimination of bad or unwanted self perspectives I wound up finding myself having. Accepting things does not mean you can’t change them. Really I’m feeling pretty good, got to also be realistic and not forget there is still a long road ahead.

Thanks for the suggestion dreamscape. If I find my tactics arent working then I’ll look into the literature. I’m not a big fan of reading especially something as dry as a self help book. Which is why I refrain.

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Really though in the last few days I’ve had glimpses of reality. When driving around or talking to people. My ma asked if I had dinner and it triggered the realization that she’s not reading my mind and pretending for once. I had hoped eventually reality would start to win out and it seems that finally happening. It’s taken a long time I used to try and force that perspective on myself but it would only shatter when I took the hallucinations into account. Now I im just looking with the force behind it and I’m catching glimpses. Even if they don’t last long it’s a good sign. Maybe only a few more months and I’ll be out of the hole, I’ve said that before and maybe I’m just having some good days here, but I’m ready now. Ready for this psychosis to come to an end. Before I wasn’t. I still had some internal conflicts to sort out. Those have been well behind me for a few months. Really I’m ready to have a normal life again.

It’s obvious to me that no one is listening to my thoughts right now, that seems impossible. This is an internal illness not the product of a conspiracy.

Gotta quell the excitement because I know it leads to an inevitable crash.

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You are doing an incredible job–awareness is more than half the battle!

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Insight is the sword, medication is the shield.

I’m wielding a bigass two two handed sword and I have a shield on my back to cover my blindside.

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It’s basically like this:
(52 second clip)

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Think of it like an Ingrained habit. You believed telepathy was real for so long. Now it will take time for that belief to fade as you take on the belief of its all just you

Yeah dude it took less than a year to take over… Hoping that forgetting will be as easy.

Went to the bars tonight, at least it was all in the background. It’s just jugemental bs. Shrug it off in any form that it comes.

Sometimes it feels like the voices are in control of my brain. I usually beg my partner to call me and tell me they aren’t real. Since starting haldol and lithium i’ve noticed i don’t hear the voices as much but still hear them especially when stressed. There are times when i see third eyes on top of people’s forehead and i think that gives them psychic powers to read my thoughts.

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Are you having any side effects from the Haldol @cbbrown? If not, give the med some more time, and then possibly get a dose increase. Might have to add Cogentin for EPS, though.

Thank for sharing how you think things appear. In my experience i tend to think that we are all in the same boat which means that people have their faces changed and sometimes become another person. I hear myself saying things i dont tend to say and sometimes my lips say other things as i talk. And that i am hearing my self saying things and that i have telephatic powers. I am living with my mother. We hardly have conversations and i find it difiicult to talk to her. I am confused in some ways. A fellow who is part of this forum says that there is a Controller in her, that is one of the voices she is hearing. I found it very usefull and realized that i also have Controller in my mind. I should say that i am having difficulty to describe the voices i hear and that I am not hearing real voices, i am very curious about this and want to know more about how people think they are hearing voices. The voices i hear are mute and I am having difficulty to understand the difference between a voice and a thought.

I usually have difficulty in maintaining a given perspective in my daily life. Until very recently I used to establish a perspective but they are so fragile. In that sense i am like a monkey who jumps from one branch to another. However things have changed. I have been reading Jon Kabat-Zinn and try to follow his advices. Nowadays i am meditating for at least 20 minutes a day. He says that meditation is not a technique but a way. I learned lot from him. Interestingly Kabat-Zinn says that the mind has its own world, isn’t it true? He champions awareness and according to him awereness is bigger than our thoughts. He sugests that we must let go all the things we are clinging to. After reading and hearing him on youtube and other places i stopped obsessing about any aspects of my thinking. It is good to be! Sometimes it is good, he says, to stop and be rather than do. With him i had the opportunity to find a way to be in friendly conditions with myself and it kind of works for me.