I despise making small talk. I feel so left out of the conversation. Makes me even more introspective and nutty. I’ll make a comment then ruminate that people hate me or that my comment was offensive. Wish I had a mute button on life that I could push. Wish I were more assertive. Think I’ll talk less from now on and just listen more.
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I’ve stopped smalltalking completely. I never know what to say. I listen more than I used to.
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I’ve had a huge problem with small talk… It was too hard and I was out of my depth…
I had to learn it…
I sort of learned it here…
Good luck.
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Maybe instead of ruminating in the negative it would help you to view yourself in the positive and think your conversations are going good, because they probably are. I say this from experience I have a tendency to be negative, strong tendency. I’m learning thru therapy to notice how I talk to myself and the way I think and how to replace those negative thoughts with more positive or neutral thoughts.
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Small talk is hard. I’m much better if it’s a topic I’m interested in and even then need someone to initiate/lead the conversation. Hardly seeing anyone most weeks I don’t get the opportunity to hone my conversational skills.
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Thanks for your responses, comforting to know others struggle with making small talk. It is a cognitive issue, perhaps with some ocd thrown in. Takes practice and patience but as someone stated, getting the opportunities may be few and far between. but when I do get the chance, I’ll try to stay positive and block out any negative or passive thoughts. Anyone know a good book that relates to this?
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Just ask as many questions as you can, people like talking about themselves, also you learn about the person so you always have stuff to talk about, while that’s what I find anyway 
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I used to be very bad at small talk but am decent t it now, it just takes practice.
I’d suggest trying to learn to talk to people through skype first to work on your social skills. It’s much less stressful than dealing with people face to face.
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I always have things to talk about with the people I associate with. Mostly because we have common interests. For example, two of my friends studied psych or neuro, ones a masters student and one is a counselor. Another is into boxing and my kind of music and anime, we get along really well, his girlfriend is sweet too.
I don’t really have small talk with family. I am always up to something big they ask about. That and they’re all well-educated and we have serious conversations.
But it is a good skill to have. I don’t reek of schizophrenia, you would think I have psychopathy before you would guess schizophrenia. Needless to say, I’m not as socially awkward as most people with this illness. I often attract attention or run into other athletes like bodybuilders at the gym, well I used to be one, so I know how to talk with people like that in that setting.
I actually get along with military men really well. It’s just something about having a no ■■■■■■■ around attitude when things are supposed to be done and treating humans with dignity. I’m a bit formal in my manner but I dress pretty…dark and rugged. You would think I am security if you saw me in public.
I used to loath small talk, but now it’s not so bad. At least some of it isn’t so bad. I don’t mind talking about the weather.
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