I have trouble coversating and speaking quite often. I think it’s related to the sza diagnosis. I’m wondering what you all like to conversate about and if you have any tips on how to be better at it?
I too have trouble with simple conversation the mind just runs blank. I hear a lot of people talking about video games, music, things on the internet. It’s difficult when you feel a genuine lack of interest in the people around you and what they talk about. It’d be easiest to start talking about mental health and my symptoms but nobody seems to care.
i find that when u have symptoms, ur world becomes very small and that’s all u know about bcoz u don’t engage with the rest of the world. i have symptoms but i try and enlarge my world by reading the news and engaging others in conversation on facebook and in 3d, even if it’s just my parents and kids.
Small talk is the depth gauge for finding commonality.
Most times it’s just a way to connect to another and know I’m human.
I have a problem with people in that regard too. I came across a few tips. When you meet someone you know, people generally just talk about what they have in common…and the No.1 thing people have in common is the people they both know, so ask after people you have in common.
Also, when you meet them theres a great tip for small talk…its basically what people talk about…when you meet someone, you talk about things (Past, Present and Future), Tell them how youre doing presently. You also mention anything of note that happened in the past. And then you mention what your plans are for the future e.g. Im planning to go to the Manchester United match next month or the New York Giants match next week. So a tip for small talk is People talk about the Past, Present and Future.
And finally Ive learned that people always like to talk about their holidays. They always like to talk about where they’ve been and where theyre planning to go. And you know I personally find this the most interesting small talk.
I feel the same exact way - I would love to talk about my illness and my medications to others, but they are not good listeners
I find myself talking more, but not really having a conversation. People who know me through my job, come up to me, ask me about plants. I answer their question and they go away.
Guys who know me from surfing come up ask me about something I answer and they go away. Same with swimming.
The only back and fourth conversations I seem to have are about books. This is with non-family of course. I can have conversations with my family all the time.
Sometimes for me, it’s just to opposite. I would love it if we could leave my Sz in the other room and talk about something else. There is more to me then my illness. It wears me down when some family members want to have long discussions about Sz and meds and prognosis and on and on.
My kid sis and I don’t have long conversations unless they are scheduled with the J preservation team. She just asks me a quick thing and then that’s it. I don’t have to talk about my Sz for the rest of the day.
Good morning J - I think that your way to converse with others is much healthier than my approach. Besides who wants to talk or listen about someone else’s illness. I do see your point
Thank you for that. I do hope you have someone to talk to about what you need or want to get out of your head. I do talk to my kid sis when the activity gets a little too rowdy up there. But it’s up to me. She doesn’t ask. When I just want to leave the SZ books on the shelf, she’ll do that. When I need to just get the traffic jam out of my head… she’ll listen.
I have some family who are well meaning, they have been nice to me… but they ONLY talk to me about my Sz. I feel like they don’t see anything of me beyond that. I get it. During my worst years, my Sz has been the main topic of conversation. But now that I’m pulling out of my worst years, some family haven’t seen me enough to understand there is more to me then this.
On the positive side, my brother has been more human lately, he’s on new meds for depression and is being more pleasant to be around. He even stopped in for lunch and we talked about different things
That is really good news that you and your brother are patching it up. Things are looking up. Does he help with your parents too or is that all on you?
It always blows me away and it’s a bit scary just how the right meds changes everything. But man, I’m glad something works.
So far I have one brother back as a friend, (he’s also on better depression meds) one brother who can’t be a friend (no meds, needs to be on them I think) and one brother swinging in limbo. (self diagnosed from a T.V. show and website. Won’t listen to anyone. No meds)
My mom has really mild alzheimers and is doing well on meds for it. My brother is ultra busy with a high power job, but he pitches in when he can. I help my dad out with my mom, the responsibilities dont fall completely on me. I have my own issues
I don’t have much conversation. When i do it can be a struggle to make small talk. Truth is i do very little to converse about.
I have a hard time conversing with any one, even my own sister. I am a good listener. I let the other person do the talking and than I just smile.
As Einstein once said,
Small minds talk about people,
Medium minds talk about things,
and great minds talk about ideas.
Everyone has ideas…
Challenge your brain to come up with ideas.
Ideas on how to make your life more comfortable, safer, more of what you want. Find something your passionate about.
I don’t talk to most people. My brother and I know each other pretty well. We talk a lot about ordinary things - familiar things you wouldn’t have thought to mention before - but now it’s a subject of conversation.
Conversations are totally contextual. For example, conversations with other students are about classes, paper topics, whether they work part time somewhere, where they live, what they plan to do after school, ect. While conversations at parties are like random and spontaneous, but I start off with "so what brings you here? you know [host of party]?
I have good social skills, I made casual conversation with people pretty well. Its easier to talk to people who have been drinking at parties but I am intellectually stimulating for people who arent buzzing off the 4 beers theyve had. I am told that I am an interesting person, my hobbies and interests are pretty different and I have an interesting past. Ive been talking to this one girl after class for a good while for the past couple of classes, were now facebook friends and have exchanged phone numbers, I made a friend in the same class who hosted a party I went to and brought me to another one too, and I just got a guy’s number today after class after talking to him about papers and ■■■■.
I used to have outstanding social skills and was the leader and coordinator/organizer of weekends back in high school. My skills are coming back
Also, keep it light. Anything remotely disturbing frightens many people away.
Agree. Even today I asked someone a question about Lizzy Borden. That person ran away from me real quick. :running: :running:
Like they said. Try to find something you are interested in and go for it. Like art? Start drawing. Like books? Start reading. But this only really helps if you know what’s popular. Everyone always seems to be on the same book. First it was Hunger Games, then Twilight, then Fifty Shades of Grey. Read what interests you of course, but keep the art/reading at least a little into what everyone else has read. Otherwise you can’t trade opinions.