In fact i turned way too excited, once i started to fight…
My pdoc said, that am quite agitated yeap, but its not a pleasant mania, its still ultra painful…
He advised to increase a bit the zyprexa from 10 mgs to 12,5mgs…
I am afraid, that it wont even help, just harm me or am i wrong?
In fact currently i am still , after years on zyprexa, paranoid per moments, but am the opposite of numb, i am even way too emotional till nausea and headaches and fatigue from too much emotions…
I know, that the aps numb a bit, but maybe thats what i need too?
I was glad before, that i still had many emotions, but now its getting ultra tiring, guys…
I am afraid, that i’ll only get hedaches or something worse from more zyprexa, but it can ease me too in the best, so idk…
Maybe 12,5mgs its not a big dose?
I’ll appreciate your thoughts…
How exactly do you fight?
I go out more, i expose more to people, i follow more some virtues, i look for more info, cause i was too ignorant before etc…
I suppose, that those sedative meds, werent made for sedentary people…
But now i move more and i carry with me outside the fear…
So wont it be helpful a bigger dose or in fact it can do to me something worse?
Its an increase of just 2,5 mgs…
What do you think Andrey and the others?
My only concern now is, that can make me a zombie, thats all… That it can put me in more depression…
But am tired to be overemotional and paranoid…
Are you sza bipolar? Are you on a mood stablizer?
I also remember you posting you have functional neurological disorder, that can be from emotional difficulties/ptsd, emotional suppression, which can turn emotions into physical symptoms. APs make this more likely in everyone too.
Increasing zyprexa might help the paranoia, but the mood swings probably needs addressed in therapy or with a mood stablizer combo
Thank you, dear Moon 
No, i am either a paranoid schizophrenic or paranoid BPD…
I was on a mood stabilizer for 10 years, it never helped me, we stopped them with the pdocs…
I dont have mood swings really…
If i get angry for example, it’s cause i am scared in fact…
I probably know very well the negatives of the sz, but since i fight, they are improving, but my past, lonely lifestyle, which changed now, is more pressuring for me…
Yes, i expose way more, but i carry the paranoia…
Yeap, i was diagnosed with conversion disorder effectively… There’s no med for it, just therapy and more activities included…
I think, that my conversion is here effectively, because i was suppressing my emotions for long (i always had them too for example, i almost don’t know the apathy for example, neither even the numbness). now they go out totally, but its ugly for the others and painful for me…
I fear just, that the increased dose can make me crazier, but idk if its possible that just…
All the best, Moon, you are a kind soul, i wish you bunch of health and love hehe!!!
My case tbh is more like from the conditioning of my violent and ill father, severe traumas too, but i even forgave him and i see, that he had love for us too… The violence was terrific, but he was ill too…
This is indicative of suppressed mood swings
I know from experience!
I also have FND so i can relate to a lot of what you go through
Ok, i see… In fact i feel my emotions all over the roof…
They’ve been suppressed for long, but now i feel for sure…
Idk, my pdoc saw me like this, he thought just of the zyprexa…
I find, that i still didnt learn to be emotionally regulated, thats my guess…
But the worst is my fear…
I wont go mad by just 2,5 mgs more, no?
I feel like an emotional, open wound now, Moon… Maybe the result of the past suppression yeah…
But wont i get a bit of relief if i feel a bit less now?
More zyprexa should gelp take the edge off yes. But it wont solve the mood swings. Fore my latuda makes them less often but theyre still there. Living as stress free as possible by whatever means possible has been a game changer for me. I am also sza bipolar so most of my emotional stuff comes up with depression mixed episodes
I have done extensive research on FND, sza, bipolar, BPD, autism, adhd, ocd, cptsd, and narcissistic families. If this registers for you feel free to pm me with questions and ill try to answer. Im not an expert but i am autistic and this has become a hyperfoxation for me over the years.
I’m on 10mg and still get positive symptoms. I’d follow your doctor’s advice.
Ok, Moon, thanks again…
Less often still sounds good…
But strangely, behind all my emotions, i still feel fear, sometimes real hell tbh…
Ok, i’ll try to up the dose then…
I have one big task in july, hope i won’t turn crazier (in a way, that i’ll lose control over my feelings and symptoms and they’ll just rocket 
and i’ll just want to hide again in silence and not going out because of my scared, jelly legs), lets see yeap…
Yes, yellowapple, the paranoia is a total positive and i find its the worst killer of a life, yeah…
Good luck with this task, Anna.
Yes, if you feel paranoid it’s better to increase the AP a little bit. And keep fighting, go out and do stuff, meet up with people, talk and have faith in yourself!
Am on my first day of the increased zyprexa…
In fact, even before it, around 3 pm, i start to hyperventilate, to feel restless, to fear the worst and it hurts emotionally too…
I blamed before my sz for that, but it could be the ap, idk…
Its probably so bad, cause i used to be sedentary for decades, whatever…
Can the restleness go away after my body gets used to the bigger dose?
The rest is, that i need really something against the paranoia, i tried to beat it with my efforts of going out etc, it never left me sheesh…
@Andrey , thank you for real. I hope, that even God will help me with the task…
Yeah, am very different from before, because i really left behind me the mean thoughts and feelings… I go out everyday for some 15 minutes, but i prefer it still alone…
Tbh, i am in hell once in 2 days, its so much suffering, that you wouldnt believe it. I dont whine now, its a fact…
Ok, let we all be relieved too more
Kisses to all!