I feel shame when I have sex and embaressment, self conscious.
My sex life is zero I’m not too fussed about it except that if I had a boyfriend it wouldn’t work
Unless he’s asexual
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For me it’s more about physical shame… I’m in the process of fixing my health and my body. Too many years of sedentarism.
Is like that for you aswell?
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I’m not sure why.
I’m sure if I was looking after my body better it would make a difference.
But still, I don’t think I’d be comfortable with it.
I once heard a celebrity say sex is toxic. I kind of agree. For my personal experience I mean.
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I’m glad self care can fix it for you.
That’s really great. 
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Well, I think it’s very common to feel shame about indulging in sexual pleasure. It depends a lot on the sexual atmosphere of the home you grew up in.
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Idk I never saw sex (at least casual sex) like bad or toxic. For me its part of the physiological and affective needs
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And traumatic experiences surrounding sexual themes I guess
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Thought you had a fella? Sex is nothing to be ashamed about. Usually there is a religious element when people feel guilty.
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Maybe you can do some psychology work on this
Yes I think it is great stuff. But I just mean toxic for me personally. Unfortunately. It used to upset me a lot. I felt like I might aswell be dead nearly!!
But now it doesn’t affect me as much because I might aswell just accept it.
I nearly even received psychosexual therapy I think it was called through the healthcare system!!!
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I had a super lot of those feelings when I was sexually active. I was molested at a very young age and as is typical I made that be I was in the wrong for doing that and sex was dirty. It didn’t help that it was reinforced by the men I had been with, they all behaved as if sex was dirty. I spent my whole entire life believing that sex was dirty until…I met my ex-husband.
He doesn’t think sex is dirty, it isn’t for him. He doesn’t have a dirty, unhealthy thought in his head. He likes sex, with the woman he loves, wants to please her as much if not more than himself, he isn’t ashamed, he has no dirty preferences, he wants to be with you in the present moment making love.
I did not recognize this at first, it took many years to come to know this, but I could tell right away something was different because I was reacting differently to him. He is the first man I took my clothes all the way off for, he is the first man I would take oral sex from, I felt that I could speak and open my eyes and not be nervous and put on an act. And I started finding my own dirty thoughts were going away and I was getting healthier and being in the present moment.
Because of him and his wholesomeness about sex I learned to be more wholesome and sex wasn’t dirty with him. That took the shame away because we had done nothing wrong. If I decide to get sexually active with another person he will have some big shoes to fill because I won’t go back.
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That guy is a friend who I happened to fall in love with. But it wouldn’t work out because I don’t feel comfortable with sex amongst other reasons.
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I’m sorry to hear that Leafy, you didn’t deserve that.
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He sounds like he has a healthy relationship with sex for sure. My problem is I get scared of opening up like that and then later perhaps being insulted. It really puts me off. I find it hard to trust that I can open myself up so much be so emotionally vulnerable to a man and trust that he would never make me feel bad, I don’t know how to explain it well but this is my best shot.
Can I ask why you choose to be not sexually active? Honestly it’s fine if it is personal.
I’m so happy you had this relationship and still have him as a friend. I guess maybe you already answered that, it’s not easy to find someone whose had the most amazing relationship with sex as ur ex. In terms of fitting with your emotions and such.
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I’m so sorry to hear you were molested. You did not deserve that. It’s a terrible thing. 
@Leaf
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Typo error. 12345678
Typo error. 12345678
I think cos I struggle with hypersensitivity too.
I really need to research that…
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I get the sexual trauma thing. Something similar happened in my life, trauma around sex so ive been uncomfortable with it ever since the flashbacks hit me. As a man it feels practically unspoken of, so it helped that my last psychologist accepted it and worked with it. I still get a bit neasous/shameful of it all though. Intimacy.
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Aw sorry to hear that @MisterApple sucks doesn’t it.
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