i’ve been ashamed before, but all of my wrongs are undone now, my karma is in the positive now, it took awhile.
And now, lessons learned, and with a new beginning i can do much.
Im not ashamed of schizophrenia though, or anything i’ve done while schizophrenic, embarrassed sure, perhaps feeling inadequate sure, but not ashamed at all.
Shame is for when you have caused harm, not for having a disease, or whoever our disease really is anyway.
Read this discussion - the research shows that people who don’t masturbate are a small minority - and there is probably something wrong with them :-).
Thank you James, I’m glad she kept them and no doubt they’re quite precious because it took courage and she knew they were important even If she didn’t understand them! I’m taking a turn in my life and I want to make that clear and I so deeply want to build their trust in me again, my relationship with my dad; even though he loves me and still sees me, is poor, we don’t have the bond we created, I’d very much like to recreate it but I understand, due to words I’ve said he fears being around me incase I aim them at him. I just want to make clear I’m different… It breaks my heart to think of what I’ve done and I just want things to be better so I’ve started to own up to it, I will send the letters when I can but I’m scared to do it right now maybe over the summer as I’m going through a lot of changes with practical things as well as emotionally; like I’ve been accepted into college as well as thinking of changing my degree path and I’m trying to keep a lid to stop things effecting me too much and causing panic so I’m trying to slow things down. But I’ve got them in my bed side cabinet and they’re waiting to be sent.
Anyway thank you James, you’re like my wise man 
your replies make sense and mean a lot, just thought I’d say that!
Take care!
I’m ashamed for not being able to handle situations, situations mostly with people. It upsets me.
i went to confession, and confessed my sins, and the shame lifted, no more guilt or shame
Don’t be ashamed, period…schizophrenia is THE WORST mental illness. What you do while psychotic is usually falls under legal insanity. Basically if you are fully psychotic, judges in US courts will dismiss you for being controlled by delusions and hallucinations. Like disorganized schizophrenics who urinate in public. Normally that is just vulgar, with schizophrenia its a symptom of an illness (disorganized behavior).
i understand the feeling of self shame is what leads to social anxiety, if you have an illness like schizophrenia obviousley you dont want to shout about it from the roof tops±. i think the worst things i did was because of alcohol and schizophrenia not schizophrenia itself im unsafe if i drink and i havernt drank for nearly two years. also shame of being overweight because of meds. i think a gain its being to hard on your selfdont compare yourselfs to others we are all unique its like that so were not boring lol