So this is kind of embarrassing, but I intend for this to be a serious topic.
I suffer from long term psychosis that stems from drug abuse. Now, I used to use methamphetamine and masturbate compulsively, which incidentally was when I had my first psychotic break.
Now I’m clean and sober, and I’m on medication that has all but eradicated the psychosis. However, the only time I get psychosis is during sexual arousal or masturbation. I hear people saying things like “omg he’s jacking off” or laughing at me. I live in a sober living home with a lot of people so sometimes I feel like it might actually be the other residents, but I have no real reason to believe that. I haven’t noticed the psychosis during sexual intercourse, however.
I guess my question is why does my psychosis seem so specific to this? And is there anyway besides medication to overcome this? Has anybody else experienced psychosis that seems to stem solely from your sexual identity?
It sounds like someone, at sometime, has convinced you that masturbation is shameful or wrong. It seems to me that this causes you a lot of stress when you’re masturbating - if its wrong and I’m enjoying it, that means something must be wrong with me (might be the way you are thinking).
Perhaps a way to eliminate this as a source of stress is to lean more about the commonality of it. Can something that 90% of males (65% of women) really be bad or wrong?
What is the value of classifying a behavior that almost everyone does as wrong? And of classifying those people as “bad” or “indecent” or something. Really… its not a big deal. Its as common as drinking milk, or eating hamburgers.
Someone, somewhere convinced people that something is wrong it it - but does that belief really need to be carried forward by us? Its ridiculous to think so ( I would say).
You got to figure that sex is stressful by nature as it carries all the responsibilities of being a parent, even if it is not the intention of the act. Have you ever thought of abstinence? It might relieve your mind.
I think its mostly shame stemming from the compulsive masturbation during my drug use. I’m not proud to say that it would go on for hours at a time… Truly sad and unhealthy behavior.
But youre right. I need to remind myself that masturbation in moderation is healthy and universal.
I thought it might help to alleviate some of the negative feelings this causes to know that it could just be a biological reaction to an increase in dopamine or seratonin. Also as SzAdmin points out it is a common and natural thing to do.
Oddly enough it isn’t caused by sexual intercourse. In fact, before I was on medication and hearing voices all the time, being intimate with a woman was one of the few things that could grant me reprieve. Its as if the companionship helped bolster my confidence, whereas masturbation makes me feel like a loser, I guess. Lol.
A better approach to this (or thought about this) is that masturbation might be less “acceptable” than sexual intercourse (by some people’s thinking) - its still a healthy activity and nothing to be worried about unless it is preventing you from doing other things you need to do.
Its funny - but if you really think about it - if someone isn’t masturbating - you really almost need to wonder whats wrong with them. They should probably go see a psychiatrist or doctor
This caught my eye because of my drug days… The shame could be more based in the drug use then the masturbation. I do remember untangling the masturbation from the drug use shame. When it was sort of coming to light that I have a lot of guilt and shame about my drug days but masturbation was a side effect so to speak. Masturbation alone wasn’t what i was really ashamed of. I was/ am very ashamed of my drug use.
I was psychotic and high during my very first encounter with a woman and the entire episode was very unhealthy. After that I saw sex as very shameful. But it wasn’t really just the act of sex… I was ashamed of being psychotic, I was ashamed of being on drugs, I was ashamed of other factors involved.
But when I untangled that drug related shame from a natural activity, I got better and could enjoy this connection to another person in a healthy fashion. (ie… no drugs or alcohol)
I hope this made sense.
Welcome to the forum
Good luck.
I had the same problem. I talked to my shrink about it, he said its subconscious guilt and that masturbating more would make it go away. Actual sex doesnt make me hallucinate at all for some reason, but masturbation used to. I was told to masturbate regularly to treat it, and it has helped tremendously. My shrink blames my catholic upbringing for guilt of masturbation. He said jacking off would rewire my brain, and now I seldom hallucinate while masturbating.
Hope that answers your questions, brother. I had the same exact problem and my shrink helped me quit suffering from it. Practice makes perfect, just embrace having functional organs. Dont get morals and thoughts mixed up with natural instincts. Just let yourself be and do whatever feels good, your brain will get used to it. Every man is hard wired to masturbate AND have sex with as many attractive women as possible. Don’t be in denial of having needs!
But I think the reason sex doesnt trigger psychosis in me is because the other person seems to enjoy it even more than I do- so I dont feel guilty, I feel like I am being a good person instead, pleasing someone and enjoying the process of pleasing them- it just doesnt make me feel guilty. Masturbation is different because it isnt reciprocal; its just one person pleasing themselves with their sexual organs- but when two people please each other with their sexual organs, I think theres no guilt because of the verbalization of orgasms and stuff like that- I know that im pleasing someone and that makes me feel proud, not guilty.
This shouldnt be a taboo topic. Everyone has sex these days, virtually everyone masturbates, its like taking a dump- everybody does it!
I’ve known several guys who tried to quit for a long time and they acted and talked like they had just drunk a ton of coffee. Including they couldn’t sleep. So I told them what they needed to do and they where fine the next day. Also people become temporary psychotic on crystal meth a lot. And it gradually goes away when they quit the drug. Schizophrenia is from dysfunctional set of genes. A lot of people here voices but from mental or physical stress like drug binge. But all the usually need is a few nights of good sober sleep.
Masturbation is safe sex. Sex isn’t harmful. It’s in fact very very good for your health. The only problem is we get unethical thoughts while doing it and that is the only problem that should concern you but you should be happy that you don’t mean it. You are really not hurting anyone outthere… no rape no murder just Masturbation.
It’s perfectly alright. Trust me you are right on the track.
The only time masturbation should be considered wrong is if you knowingly involve those under 18 (assuming you are over 18) or involve others who do not want to be involved.
