Sexual images in the head

DX'd - Other
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I remember around 2012, when medications didn’t use to work, voices used to make me masturbate on women I had liked in my early 20s. Like naked images of those women in all the positions. And, I have this symptom of physical control where it seems like something from the outside is doing it, even though I realize it may be my brain doing it. And, usually, they would make me masturbate like 5-10 times a day on those women, like even if I didn’t want to do it, it was as though I was being physically controlled (note that I was fully psychotic at that time, and perhaps not even taking medications in periods).

Now, recently, since the last year or so, I started getting panic attacks. During those attacks, the voices would make me masturbate on a guy. Now after a year of that, I sometimes still get sexual images of the guy outside of panic attacks.

Someone told me it may be related to OCD. I don’t feel any impairments in my life, I am fully functional, with almost no voices. And, I can’t discuss these things with the therapists here regardless. And, the images come in like once in 1-2 days briefly. Is this because of OCD?

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Is it such a taboo that you can’t discuss this with your therapist?

I’m sure they have heard it all.

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I really can’t discuss this with my psychiatrist who also happens to be a therapist.

And, I really doubt any therapist can figure this out. Like, who knows what is really happening?

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The issue is that I really don’t want another diagnosis in my life. I am tired of these diagnoses. I am functional and quite normal usually, and that is what counts I believe.

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True. I don’t think you will get any answers from a therapist or this forum besides maybe it’s part of an illness.

It seems like a very individual thing.

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I agree. But, I also have ADD most likely, you know, the last thing I want to know that there is OCD too. I don’t feel that impaired.

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I had stuff like that. Command hallucinations and intrusive imagery. Its just another area of psychosis.

Combine that with compulsive behaviorial problems and that issue becomes bigger.

It just went away for me one day but i had it for years off and on.

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I talked to my pdoc about it. She didnt bat an eye. Lol theyve probably heard everything

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I agree, if anything it may be related to psychosis.

Can’t discuss these things with a pdoc because it is a different culture here.

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Yeah true it is an awkward topic. Maybe just keep being aware of it to try and combat it.

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Yeah, I am ignoring it for the most part. Like you, I am functional in life. Like, today I worked 9-10 hours, trading stocks. At first I had to monitor my positions while the market was open, later I had an idea, I got into testing it, and just earlier got off work. It is 8 pm here. Long day-- and pretty productive.

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Awesome man. Yeah you got the right idea. Just keep on going despite it.

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Good on you for being absolutely courageous and telling the truth. I get your point and know that others experience the same. I could tell a story or two, but I use your circumstances to elicit the most incredible dialogue, that unfortunately I can’t transcribe because of the activities. That’s why the dialogue gets amazing. so I use what you describe to collect data, that no one can handle, because it is too revealing. Good luck. You are innocent

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