I am getting auditory hallucinations which are giving me fear. I am getting heart palpitations at the same time. I don’t know what to do, I took my dose of medications early.
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Ok what are the auditory hallucinations claiming that’s making you frightened?
We can talk it out maybe
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They are basically asking me to masturbate.
But, here is the thing. In the initial stages of these panic attacks, the libido goes away. So, there is no libido, and the physical changes (like arms shaking) along with the sudden voices have me in fear.
I am fearing not because of the voices, but because of external control which also happens in these attacks.
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Ok why do you have to do what they say? Can they force you to be erect?
Yes, sometimes, they can (they have in the past).
They can control me like a robot. Like I don’t want to follow on the voices direction, but it seems like you become a machine eventually.
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Have you spoke with a PDoc about the external control. It’s a serious symptom. I’ve only been threatened with it really by my voices. But if it were to begin I would consider changing treatment or entering a ward for safety of self and others
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I know what you mean. But, this happens only with panic attacks. They last 3-4 hours.
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Ok good luck that’s my advice
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Thanks. I get them once in two weeks. Sometimes, they last for 30 min-1hour, and sometimes, they last 4-5 hours.
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Do you also masturbate in between these crises?
No, I can’t do it, during it the libido goes away.
No, not during attacks.
Outside those moments.
When you feel ok.
Yeah, of course. I do. Not during panic attacks, but outside of it, yes.
Ok. I was thinking maybe long abstinence triggered the attacks.
It’s not the case.
There must be another explanation.
Dunno.
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No clue what happens here. In the end of the attack, usually, I feel under external control and masturbate.
It is like the voices command for hours, I struggle and resist for hours, and then something controls me and makes me do it.
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Attention span also changes in these periods. Like because of Schizoaffective/ADD I don’t notice things around me in my room too much. During these attacks, attention span also changes, and I become more aware of my surroundings. This heightened awareness goes away after the panic attack. But, it is like my attention has normalized.
Could it be because of Clonazapem withdrawal. I had no libido on Klonopin. I took high doses for 7 years, until we quit quite abruptly.
After the very fast withdrawal I am getting side effects upon side effects of withdrawal. Panic attacks seem like one type of withdrawal effect to me.
Now arms feel disconnected from the body (like they are feeling really light). Is this derealization/depersonalization or something?
The fingers in my hands are shaking, as attention span returns and I am more aware of the details in my surroundings.
Have a read. I never had childhood trauma but ive had this type of delusions and hallucinations a lot in the past.
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