my sexual orientation. For 37 years, I just liked women.
Now since the past 6 months strange things are happening. Voices make me masturbate a particular guy, but happens in like once in two weeks. I am generally symptom-free, I only get voices and symptoms in one particular situation, a panic-like attack.
I can generally feel I am not attracted to men. Only one particular person this is happening with. I don’t quite understand why…
Well, maybe you just want to experiment or you’re bi.
I really doubt this.
Could be that the antipsychotic isn’t working? Otherwise, maybe a psychologist instead of a psychiatrist maybe able to help you figure it out?
APs are working for me. It is just Klonopin withdrawal which is causing strange situations I believe. I don’t generally have any symptoms whatsoever.
Just try to not get down about it or be morbidly serious.
Yeah, it is kind of depressing.
sexuality, more often than not, can turn fluid. situations like this are more normal than you’d think, in my opinion. just because you’ve been (whether in full mental-clarity or not) masturbating to one man, does not mean:
-you no longer like women
-you are attracted to all men
sometimes, the human brain just has sudden particular tastes for any number of reasons. i don’t think you are suddenly a different person, and especially don’t let anyone, but you, tell you your own identity.
hope you’ve been well
Masturbating is sort of an idle thing where all sorts of thoughts enter your mind while you stimulate yourself. Understand the nature of what you are doing as being open to whatever small arousal you may have, and encourages it through stimulation. Look at what your issue is with homoerotic thoughts, if it is a concern over becoming gay and having a complete different lifestyle or something else, but realize that masturbating doesnt cause lifestyle changes in itself.
It could be just mental stimulation perhaps. I have that problem where I have to mentally stimulate myself more and more these days.
Another thing that might be worth mentioning: even if you do discover you are bisexual, nobody is going to force you to go out and date men. Nobody is going to force you to tell anyone. You are allowed to stick to fantasies if that is what you are comfortable with. If that changes later on, you are allowed to change your mind. You can tell or not tell whoever you want, and date or not date whatever gender you feel most comfortable with. Plenty of bisexual people only date the opposite sex.
I’m just jealous because you can refer to yourself as “Q” now. It’s even better than the one word celebs like Cher, Madonna, Beyonce, Prince, etc.
I wanna be called “B”. Do you think I could petition the powers that be to change it to ‘LGBTQB’? B being for Bowens, of course.
I guess my serious advice, not being an expert in this field, is that you don’t necessarily have to feel pressure to define yourself and put yourself into a category. Just be who you are.
Yes I have noticed changes to autoeroticism after being on antipsychotics. Harder to get aroused with own thoughts and more homoerotic thoughts. Sometimes it takes those kind of atypical thoughts get me to climax
I have noticed this on APs. Even with women the thoughts and fantasies run wilder.
If you look at how pornographic videos are presented, there is usually some taboo in the title or description. Something about taboo is more arousing. I have no idea why. I wouldnt worry unless your thoughts enter into law breaking territory or become paraphilia. In that case abstaining would be best.
If I read your post correctly you are saying you only masturbate to a particular guy cause of the voices.
Are you getting command voices to do this or are the voices just encouraging or telling you things that make you feel sexual thoughts which make you want to masturbate thinking about him.
The latter I guess.
Yeah if you never had these thoughts and attractions I can understand feeling uncomfortable and confused.
If you’re masturbating to a particular guy you know even more complicated.
Yeah, I know him I guess.
Do you feel attraction to this guy when you see him?
So maybe you are generally only attracted to women, but sometimes this can happen where in general you are not attracted to men, but just in this situation, this person is different.