Serious relationships

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Hello. I am 30 years old, from Norway and was diagnozed with schizophrenia when I was 19 years old, they put me on seroquel and I became free from symptoms.

I am now trying to find a partner and wife and I have contact with a really nice woman that I like. Its nothing official between us now, but I really like her.

I am not working atm, but my life is really good now. I feel very good and I am really stable.

I consider myself a good man, I never drink, smoke or use drugs. But I am unsure if I should tell her about my diagnoze, I am afraid she will reject me. Should I tell her the full extent of my situation or should I not tell her at all?

My inside is telling me I should be honest, but how and when should I tell it? Thats the big question here. Any advice?

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Just don’t wait to tell her on your honeymoon.

That probably wouldn’t be the best route to take.

She’s going to find out at some point, just tell her.

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Ok, but do you have any suggestion on how I should tell her?

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Hi john

I have been in a relationship (currently temporarily separated) with a man diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. He did not inform me that he had this illness although some symptoms already made me aware that something was wrong. The diagnosis of schizophrenia came as a relief, as I (before) did not know what was causing his problems. Knowing the diagnosis can help a person understand the situation, and make important plans for the future… Plus knowing about the disease allows for an honest and open discussion (something I still don’t have with my ex-partner due to his denial of his illness)
So, if things become serious… I would suggest that you gently steer a conversation to that direction. It will be best for both of you…
Good luck with whatever you decide though…

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You are over thinking it.

Just take her out on a date and tell her, take her somewhere she likes and give her the old “im schizophrenic, i like you alot and hope this doesn’t change what we have between us.”

There isn’t anything to figure out, just tell her.

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How long have you known her, how much do you talk, have you had sex? If I knew the answers to those questions I could give you a yes or no answer.

I just told a guy I am dating about my diagnosis tonight. It’s a little more serious with him, we had sex three times. He was cool and understanding about it. I think if you are recovered and highly functioning, it is a good idea to tell them after like a month of consistent daily communication, which is what I just did- but we talk for at least an hour every night and have been for a month. I felt like I needed to tell him, especially after romantic sex, not hitting and quitting.

Sorry if you dont understand some of the words I am using, I am in the south in the United States and speak a little differently.

If you need to explain why you arent working, I would explain that. I am sure they give nice disability checks in your country, they give enough for some fried chicken and a 40 ounce beer here where I live, I dont even take it, I am in college on scholarships and cant work and do school at the same time so I guess I do qualify for disability. I am 21 and live with my parents, they pay for my food and gas, bought me a car, ect.

If you have been working but arent just at the moment, tell her that.

If you have sex, you have to tell them within two weeks after. That’s my new rule, I gave it to myself.

Im bisexual and leaning towards gay, I am dating a guy right now. I was afraid of rejection about this guy getting freaked out but he isnt.

If they start sleeping over and dating you like that, they will notice you taking pills but might not ask what for. Guy I am dating noticed I took pills but didnt ask me what for.

But I used to tell people on the first date sometimes. Not a good idea at all.

If it gets to where you are putting time into it and so are they, do tell them. By time I mean talking with you a whole lot for a fair amount of time.

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Dating4disabled.com could be nice. Plentyoffish.com has get-togethers in most big cities. Match.com is best in my opinion and worth the cost in places with only churches & bars…this is nicest site and easy to get contact privileges whereas Eharmony latest 8 steps to get contact. Most get bored too quickly with Eharmony…

You also need to agree on the cause of the schizo – religious causes vs. bio-chemical psychiatry vs. government scam. You are doomed to fail if you do not agree on your health problems as marriage will leave you wide open to a lot more arguments, contact with the cops, money problems, pressure from the mental health care, kids…financial stresses…Do you both a favor and agree on things before you jump in. Also discuss your mental care & financial status after looking okay on a few dates first if you want…

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Good day brother,Norway is a nice country.i think you should trust your gut,tell her if you feel confident that she wouldn’t mind about your illness,but if you really like her a lot,and you think/feel the time is right,then tell her right away so things wouldn’t go too wrong and you wouldn’t waste much of each other time,this is a good topic!

By tx,have a nice day

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Ok. I am going to be completely honest about the details of my life.

My father is Pakistani and my mother is Norwegian. I am going to find a wife in Pakistan and bring her here. I already have contact with several potential matches, this is why I am asking how I should tell them without scaring them away. Obviously it would be very stupid to tell them as the first thing.

What do you guys think?

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It doesn’t sound like you have actually meet this women yet? If it’s online then give some time for a friendship to grow. If you are planning on bringing the women to where you are then I think she has a right to know before making that trip.

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It will be incredibly lame if you don’t tell her before she makes that trip.

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I ended up telling the girl I date… straight off. In the very beginning. But that is just me.

It’s work for me to tell right her right off the bat because when I did get a bit symptomatic… she knew what was going on.

Other people wait a bit until they are sure the relationship is actually going somewhere… that I can understand too.

But me being me… I ended up blabbing it out there.

@mortimermouse,
Glad you made the hurdle and all is well. Congratulations on getting that out of the way. I had a feeling if the guy was worth it… he’d stick around

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