Serious question (read body)

If you woke up in the morning with absolutely no remembrance on any level (emotional, mental, physical) of your past experiences with your illness do you think you’d suffer nearly as much as you do now?

With me my past is my number 1 issue, my worst experiences with my MI And the embarrassing behavior and actions that came along with them is what holds me back the most.

What’s y’alls thoughts? Feel free to elaborate

I let go long ago. Did some stupid things but I wasn’t necessarily at my best. I can’t change that but I can change the now and thus the future.

I don’t suffer for what’s been for me. I just live. Yeah that is medicated and it’s a little different but it’s not unreasonable!


I respect that. And once I started taking myself serious and having self respect when it comes to things that truly should be other people also started atleast showing some respect.

I didn’t really dwell on my early psychosis until 25 years after the fact. I mean obviously I knew it happened and I would think of big chunks of time when I was psychotic but it wasn’t until I was about 43 or 44 that I really tried to put myself in that place and the state of mind I was in. It was kind of like thinking back about old acid trips. But it was thinking back on my day to day living when I was psychotic that is kind of weird. Mental illness is a weird thing. I just relatively recently started thinking more about my hospitalizations and trying to put myself back into my frame of mind back then. I was really, really sick for many years (and still pretty sick) and I have a lot to think about.

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I understand that, I reflect on mine like I do acid trips as well. I’ve realised that everyone’s perception and reality isn’t the exact same no matter how healthy they are mentally. Everyone has their own motives, their own thought processes, moods, emotions, beliefs. You can’t really base your mental health I’m someone’s else’s life. Different strokes for different folks.

When you turn your perception on yourself it’ll make you pick yourself appart. This is good to an extent for seeing where you are mistaken or doing wrong but if you can’t turn off that inner judgement of your
Being it can be crippling . They say hind sight is 20/20. Accountability is a good thing to have.

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Glad you’re doing alright. It’s good there s dome old timers on here

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Yes I would suffer as much as I do because I’ve already ‘censored’ the past from my thoughts.

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Years past I carried the past on my back along the way,

But I’ve learned to let it all go,
Throw the past in the past.

They say the first step in making the future is leaving the past behind.
I think maybe some scars may never leave
but I have a lot of respect for them and my internal struggle/
Where I’m at now.

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I understand what you are saying,

But I don’t feel that would work for me.

Not remembering anything about my psychosis wouldn’t prevent my current delusions from devouring my very soul.

Maybe some of them would have less leverage, but I would still have very aggressive issues.

You can’t let past behaviors torture you like that, let it go, man!

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I’ve mostly healed from the past…not remembering wouldn’t change my brain back to the way it was before the trauma and episodes I would just no longer understand why I was that way anymore…I would lose all those years of learning how to cope. So I wouldn’t choose to erase my memory.