In the beginning after my psychosises I used to think a lot about what I experienced, the paranoia, how meaningless things meant something, the suspicion about other people.
Then later I realized that thinking about these things did not serve me well. It was holding me back, and hindering my mind from recovery.
So I learned to let go, and not go to those thoughts any more. The same way you choose a channel on tv, you can choose what to channel into in your mind. Not 100% of course, sometimes a odd thought slips through, but the trick is to not pursuit them when they do.
It takes pratice to control the mind though. I’m not saying it’s easy, but with time it has gotten easier for me. Letting go of the past is critical so it doesen’t impede your recovery journey.
I agree entirely. I also think the time spent thinking about the experience is a necessary step. In the beginning, ruminating on the bad experiences reminded me to take my medicine, go to therapy, etc etc etc. I had to keep the pain fresh in my mind to motivate myself to commit. There did come a point, though, when the pain was no longer serving any functional purpose. At that point, it was just me dwelling in regret.
I think this is one reason why people at different stages of recovery have trouble relating to each other. Those who have let go of the past know how much of a relief it is, and want to help others let go. Their clearest memories are of the pain no longer serving a functional purpose, so they end up thinking ti NEVER served a purpose. In their narrative, they were uselessly wallowing in self-pity until they learned to knock it off. Those who are still processing the pain are holding onto it for a reason. They feel patronized when others tell them to let go. They feel like they are being dismissed or ignored, or told their pain is unimportant. They end up doubling down and holding onto their -pain even harder, to prove that it matters and that their experiences were actually as bad as they remember.