Using electrity now, what do you think this laptop runs on, chi ?
Only got away from that for 6 months, demons never said anything, they’d come in turn on the lights and the TV and raid the fridge; no, it was a roomate who didn’t want to pay his share, so i said screw it, and spent 6 months going to the gym for hot showers, cooking on a camping stove on the patio, reading and writing by candle light, and watching tv sparingly by battery - it was the days of star trek voyager and i was afraid of missing psychoic ideas going by. The news always brings those my way as well. Had 6 months of threatening letters from the PG&E, who went from “maybe you need help with making payments” to “maybe you need to know about some benefit programs for the poor” to “what is it gonna take to put you in electricity today because you are taking up space in a cell that we would otherwise be marketing electricity in”, and surrounding me of course the sarcastic calls like yours to “join the 21st century dude”, so of course I had to come up with a whole psychosis on Ben Franklin, cause hey, he deserves it, but also, you know, schizotypal thinking means i’m making up psychosis, even if the sound of it is something quite atrocious, if you say it loud enough it’s really quite precocious, schizotypal thinking means i’m making up psychosis - song paradoy written by a musician friend who understands what im usually up to.
And newton’s theory’s gaps, acceptable and effective alternative spin on what’s wrong there compared to my manic rhetoric flowing into eve’s apple and all, and i do have a full explanation typed up and on the web, my own attempt to disabuse you of the notion, I find the reaction i get to that paper is at the very least - “wow, i didn’t realize, that gravity is such a contraversial thing in modern times, guess i never really think about the architecture of reality”, to “i agree with you but i wanna call it onderdonk gravity, cause stuff still goes down”, so that’s when i said ok, let’s call it Ytivarg, cause it’s a push not a pull, and yes it sure is in my paper that gravity makes sense from the sun out to jupiter, so ok for you who don’;t care to look farther, but to modern day astrophysics, and the cosmic cartography that is being shown to young kids in science class about the structure of the known universe in the golden age of astrophysics, it doesn’t fit or make sense, and those kids aren’t gonna like this nonsense about gravity, i give it a hundred years, it’s so entrenched in popular culture, i love to hear an episode of law and order in court break out in laughter because someone suggests they don’t believe in gravity. I give em 100 years, they’ll be laughing at themselves retroactively.
(my paper on ytivarg and on the theory of brain / mind as well as my psychosis on santa claus and ben franklin being the same object are in “Wagging my redshift tail, a philosophy of madness”, on smashwords.)
Yeah that despotism is just people trying to help, at some level. And yeah, I fully understand the “groom your madness” demand of modern civil society - I can’t kill and mame indiscriminatley here, I can’t give away cash in public in disruptive ways, I gotta shower once a day and wear clothes purchased in the last year and shave and brush my teeth and clip my nose hairs, get a job and pay for my own food supply and pay for my reading material if i want stuff from outside the western mainstream - i get it. My speech only seems to be regulated during stops with cops, so the rest of the time i experiment with the soap box freedom i was led to believe was prevalent in america, and i find that, they don’t like that “free thinking” stuff around here. I am just lucky and grateful for the bookstores and libraries in america, because anomolously all the free thinking - both the magical, the rational, and the fantastic hybrids of the two in the buddhist/taoist chinese poets so expertly translated by david hinton over the last decade or two standing out among a larger field of burgeoning insight into a completely different culture, one anti-rationalistic, anti-family, anti-sanity, almost anti-humanist, from the point of view of modern-comfort-humanists, in those bookstores and big-city libraries, free for the taking, and i seem to be the only one trying to do something with those ideas, that’s what i find kinda odd…
But you know what they say, if you ask them? those hermits in the chinese mountains barely following society’s demand of minimum self-care and grooming? they say it’s the society i am criticizing here that has lost the way. I’m just saying what they told me, and they seemed to be more sincere and well thought out, compared to the society of the pdocs, to me - the WEIRD - western educated industrialized rich democrats, the military industrial academic war machine, trying to compete, overcome, dominate, imperialize, based on i don’t know what mindset or marching orders, possibly demonic.
That the “manifesto” yesterday may have been emotional I can accept; I was bored, it was dynamic on the spot, it was heartfelt resistance to a regular motif I’ve seen before, and I felt maybe I could take another shot at that from effluvient passion and an updated rhetorical reservoir.
But I know other people do not read or understand what i say, atleast for the most part. And you’d need a psychiatrist, a linguist researcher, and an exorcist to actually respond to this kind of a post; still, I feel like i explained it to them, however delusional that may be;
“Demon-inspired?” Maybe a chapter or two in my first book on madness, but for the most part my ideas are about leadership of man and demon, not about being led by either parent / caregiver, just having a problem with these divorced “parents” of mine - modern man and the demons, the sane and the mad.
I practice irrationality, and in this society they call that schizophrenia - i am diagnosed as an untreatable uncurable schizophrenic with florid psychotic delusions and visual, auditory, and unmanageable tactile ahllucinations, who “loves his delusions way too much”, and should be hospitalized long term, yet I remain unmedicated and posting essays in the public square, here, so to speak. Other cultures call this shamnism, and the line ought to be drawn at “when the dreamer controls the dream, not the dream the dreamer”, but I find the WEIRD don’t like the dreaming to be discussed or paid any attention to, rather to be left alone in the dark night of the unconscious where they say it belongs. And I just get to wanting to see what’s down in there!
I think this “nourishing and protecting” is sometimes taken too far, people thinking that because I seem like an infant- from the point of view their world offers and teaches them out of pure lack of “apperception” that i must be suffering and less than humanly dignified if I am not into their beliefs about self esteem being a positivie thing or about being destitute, orphaned, and ill-fated being a negative thing; then they think should step in as my parents, and that never works out for them, one man’s incurable insanity another man’s invincable irrationality.
They don’t say “if you wanna be mad it’s ok to be mad”, and this is the fringes of a big city of the so called mad, the san francisco bay area - I grew up in new york and they told me go to california where all the crazy people are, you nut, well, I got here and found they are no crazier here, they just entertain more nonsense more willingly, but they do seem to collect the better books in their bookstores, and it’s a pretty laid back society about a case like me, not too much tazing or 5150’ing these days, been there done that, the system had nothing to offer, but meds, and i tried them all and now only seroquel and only on a binge basis.
No, they say" we don’t want you to suffer", and strongly encourage meds they have never tried themselves and don’t understand, with only black box theories that say throw one after another at a patient, never mind the mental torture of crack withdrawal periodically stabbing their spirit, no, that’s not something we recognize as real or any kind of cost, hell, the yang is invisible and won’t get down into our test tubes, so why should we white coated WEIRD respect it, huh?
I think it’s Rationalism, the religion, that becomes imperialist about consciouness-style, where you rationalists aren’t quite content to practice your madness by yourself, but would prefer that all your contemporaries practice your madness with you, no matter how inappropriate that major spiritual modification may be for them or for you, comfort not necessarily being as important as freedom, i was taught by hegel in 19th century germany, you eudaemonists, considering what’s good or bad based on comfort. Again, is it rational to be rational for no reason? OR for the sake of comfort ???
Yeah, my books aren’t “published” cause they’d never get past the gatekeepers of that world, rather i find you can post whatever you want for free on smashwords and forget about saving and storing up your ideas and diagrams on hard drives or thumb drives, just send em up on the internet and they are completely word searchable indexed on google, available world wide in ten different formats for free, bay area quake of the century come and burn my house down (I rent) and i can google my posessions from the space shuttle over citrix xendesktop. Not a capitalist, no I don’t charge, I also write computer books on Citrix every time the new version comes out, cause they can’t get the training in india and china but they can get the software for free, and I used to be a citrix instructor - these days i sit around bored level three citrix help desk, spending slow christmas season days where nobody cares about their broken roaming profile or their slow citrix web connection to write what you call manifestos, and what really would be the raw material for a manifiesto i guess you’re right, but really i’m just releasing steam from the volcanic vents of the molten madness sea just below this spout…
On smashwords there are stats - apparently my book that’s been up there a couple of years has been down loaded five hundred something times, but I know they don’t read much of it, still, i try to communicate with humanity on new wavelenghts, right here in this forum, a fish using this particular turbid pool to turn to a dragon and thicken wild whitewaters (I’m a zephylodontosaur, eater of the gentle wind, a zephyl-upagus), and this thickening of the wild white waters, does this mean i untame my madness, possibly doing some harm or affecting others? well, yeah, here’s the way i’ve always looked at it, and i have to rationalize this kind of evil because better than grooming my madness for my mom or my teachers or priests, i am a member of hegel’s Sittlikheit, or Cult of Ethical Life, the highest cult on earth, he says, where we will never wholly sacrifice anyone altogether on the altar of right, cause they are somebody’s father son brother mother sister wife after all, so i’m probably not going to be the world’s worst terrorist my mom thinks i will be, anyway, had to figure out how ethical or unethical this way i’ve been carrying on now for decades really is, and here’s what i came up with: i, sir, am an unreality check; it’s like a reality check, and that’s not considered unfair, right? People get all ivolved and focuessed on their “reality” and then I come along and upset and question the whole structure, and people are upset and find it disconcerting and tell me it takes them way too much mental energy to deal with me and would i please just shut up… so I go away, and I don’t feel sorry that that happened, maybe fate had it coming to them to run into something like me once in their life, however i do consider it unethical the way i am for someone who is around me all the time, previous wives, roomate, that can’t be good or healthy, they always complain, more and more as time goes on, the first wife I swear she’d foam at the mouth and have an episode of paralysis and deja vu - seizures? - only during my hour-long monolgues on unreality, and another girl went completely insane after understanding the inside of my cult - a girl afraid of death taken on a tour of the land of the dead - yeah, it’s never good when someone else is in the onderdonk cult, this mindset should not leave the firewall of this skull for any extended period of time. If you just met me, it’ll be ok, i’ll go away and you will completely recover shortly. Long term yes, I suspect I do damage. Honestly I have no remorse for turning over the gambling tables of old-timey ideation at the temple of western culture, i think the whole construction is “demon-inspired” - what’s this about not leaving on time ever for anything and then setting fossil fuels on fire to get there on time anyway, motionlessly hovering in wheelchairs and listening to classic rock from heroin addicts with guitars on the california freeway, and then waging multiple wars to secure worldwide domination of this fossil fuel, sounds kinda unethical and demonic, i choose to abstain, it’s not what the demons advise me to do it’s what i want to want to do, and so i am able to do, unlike those tied to what they want, I am free to want what I want myself to want, and I was told at a very young age that that meant I was “crazy”, so whatever with you sane people who have to be tied to what they want, you are all gonna fall down the hole! OK it’s ok, go down that hole of comfort and say goodbye to knowledge and truth and beauty, but excuse me if I skip that trip down your rabbit hole.
My sentences move like a camel, heavily freighted, across the desert of modern collective western consciousness, and the camel stops at watering holes to nourish the few and trade in demons, a fisher of men on a one camel parade, of course an annoyance to the vastators who keep the desert of culture dry, the “deep state” that kids out here like to call the “illuminati”, the WEIRD, of course they’re annoyed by the appearance of this camel, it’s procession through their desert skies spelling out the “doom of orthodox sophrosyne”, but hey, it’s just one camel, i’m not involved in politics or law-enforcement, the camel isn’t gonna catch on past a maximum of 1% of the human behavior flow, so the economists like my sister aren’t concerned with that one percent camel, she affords it two percent actually, and says her science of econometrics is happy to completely ignore the behavior of that two percent, the unknowable part of a turbulent flow that i idealize as i watch, not from a humanist perspective, which is where i think i loose the 99 % of the humans, but from a transcendental perspective not unheard of in the libraries and bookstores of america under names like george w hegel and lao tzu and lay man pang…
And maybe the science of econometrics shouldn’t have to listen to stories about the meaning of irrationality, but maybe the science of abnormal psychology is another story?
So the americans, a good fifty percent i find, freak out about the irrationality lovin mindset, and assume that if they had that mindset then rape and murder and pilliage would be the order of the day, and so law enforcement make their pre-emptive moves against me in the south or the midwest within days of my arrival.
It’s usually about the concepts of “property” and “trespass”; I’m taught by Hegel that property ownership is at best foolish and naive, at worst pure evil, that it’s all the Permanent Universal Capital, that it isn’t going anywhere, isn’t owned by anyone, the hordes of law enforcement from consensual reality insisting i respect their “property”, and if i laugh at a guy and say he looks like he has something to loose, they call the cops, and i walk away. i play along wth the whole thing where i go to the bank, get the smelly green paper and let the little green men run all over the floor when i get home, and i carry them around out in society and dole it out as i collect my share of resources, and i am offended when i walk away from a “purchase” and a vendor thinks he has just “accumulated” something, and there have been incidents of course, plenty, of madness versus the vendor, but ultimately it gets me nothing but banned, so these days i tend to behave and play along, madness forcibly groomed in that case by lack of access to resources or i would have kept it up.
You know, in astrophysics, it’s a little cleaner, and we abandon attachment. We let the Hubble flow go, we root for the forming star to NOT suffer heavy metal enrichment, to NOT entrain the ambient medium, ah, here mankind roots for purity, beauty, no obfuscation by concerns for comfort, but alas, below in the valley of the world, heavy metal enrichment and the entrainment of the ambient medium are the order of the day for the holiday season!
Still, on you tube, a monk, speaking from his remote hermitage in china, says when we die, we let go of everything, even the universe, so why not let go from the start?
and the Aztec Nahual “flower song” available on the internet and before that in the deep libraries, says there’s nothing here to get, just here for a short time, just say hello to the local gods and maintain a wise face and firm heart.
and the bible of chiristianity says don’t worry about the finances, go outside and live like the birds, and heaven will take care of everything.
I’m not evil, but i understand the purpose of evil, which is beauty, a beauty that the universe embraces unanimously when it comes back as the prodigal son to be enveloped within the wholeness again, but transformed by the journey, evil for the purpose of releasing a moth from a coccoon for a short time, an unreality check with neutron beams of toxicity tht fly randomly through the sky and over the internet, stirring human reality the way male and female humans get together and stir up their genes to form a zygospore, another demonic creation out of the same molten sea of pure madness…
On the very good and valid question of what importance a theory of the universe might have for doing any good to the human race, as the assumed answer is an unfortunate obstacle to people’s mind being opened to the learning, but yes, if they’d think about it, i give em time cause this avalanche of universe-wide–perspicacity out to z=6 came down the waterfall of space telescope data just this last few decades, and it will of course take em time, to realize how important this is, as i try to explain in my wan wu honeycomb book at the beginning, as i really think humanity would be able to make some big social leaps forward if they would make the simple analogies of humans to galaxies, cities and then societies to galactic clusters, of quasars to shamans at the center of some of these cultures, and the invisible force currently referred to as “dark matter” but currently being given up on in this month’s scientific american, another concession speech from modern science, but this 75 % of the universe we clearly see in the data but can’t sense with our eyes or telescopes or any device yet crafted by man, this “dark matter”, maps to the unseen surrounding spirit world, the halo of the immortals from taoism, the cloud of witnesses from catholicism, the all knowing spirit world of transcendental shamanism.
That cloud that we can’t see distilled us, baryonic reality, we are the snowflake at the center of a cloud that is invisible but knowable outside of science, through channels only maintained by the mad, and the thing is, we are truly “theirs”, snowflake at the center of a cloud that it is trying to deny the existence of or atleast the importance or dignity of and actually pursue trying to exorsize as if the demon world were a bad thing, were not us ourselves in our more magical and more massive form.
So, demon-inspired? Nah. I have access to demon counsel. I am not posessed (unless I allow myself to be); my inspiration is, i hope, more whole than their point of view which is as twisted and one sided-silly as humanity’s, every demon i ever met was wallowing in confused lostedness; my mentor was a tapir at the san francisco zoo, a shaman, a dream eater, demon eater, central quasar of the bay area, we talk irrationality sometimes, and now my mentor is the moon, whose magic i begin to explain in my most recent book, that I wrote a week ago about everything that’s been happening in my spirit life since last month, I think I “found the Way”, I think I met the universe, I’m certainly tripping at ten times the normal rate of psychosis creation these days for whatever reason.
So River-of-Heaven Open-Topped Ferry Ride is universe-inspired, therefore about 3/4ths unseen mystery and one quarter baryonic consensual reality of science - inspired.
Book on the wan wu honeycomb, well, yes, worked with the demons on that in astrophysics think tanks I like to organize those nuts into, makes them useful or atleast entertaining - i practice wu bu fa kao zhao fa, a demon management system i find to be highly effective and infinitely powerful, the wan wu honeycomb is the alchemy chamber so why not use it’s powers of transformation and transmutation for the benefit of mankind, i always say, wu bu fa kao zhao fa being two fa’s or methods, one the wu bu fa is an esoteric buddhist rite of exorcism and kao zhao fa is a taoist rite of summoning and interrogating demons, I enjoy it cause i get to spend up to 6 months with a demon or a demon family inside of me, powering immense effluent waves of manic psychosis and physical energy and stamina, till it ends very calmly and beautifully and humanely in the heart of a distant galactic protocluster, yes, certified psychopomp and developing independent technologies on my own, cause somebody had to do it, i travel alot and there’s alot of haunting in modern america, demons that need leadership; so wan wu honeycomb is a “Vorstellung” or pictorial view of the universe both baryonic and dark across all time, not what physics is even trying to describe, but i wish more people would just get into it and discuss alternative designs to reality, it’s not like you gatekeepers are all that magical, lookin too healthy or happy, and it’s not lookin like this science stuff has legs for down the pike as maybe they thought it would fifty years ago, i’m george jetson, and i work for spacely sprockets but this is the end of this kinda nonsense, and everybody knows it.
And book one is wagging my redshift tail, a philosophy of madness - I was trying to defend religion against the new atheists, felt they were running roughshod over some serious human irrational beauty that does humanity some serious good, arguments about violence and abuse aside, but after researching the issue in - depth for about 6 months, i ended up defending not religion but madness, the mother lava source of all religion past and the next 100 molten red tadpoles that haven’t lept up in to the frosty world of consensual reality and icicles of hope, yet.
i tell people don’t get bogged down in the first several chapters which are only a favorite psycosis about bugs from a few years ago and not as important to others, it really is centered around one essay in the middle, “Dicebant Quoniam in furorum versus est - because he is said to wander in the direction of madness” - that’s the core thesis defense of madness and it’s uses for mankind, and the rest of the book is essays based on that attitude.
So I don’t ask you or anyone to read these books, I don’;t even recommend it as a healthy activity, but for those that just can’t help themselves from going down this rabbit hole of extreme thought plasticity and exploding consciousness, a kenotic leap into a universe-wide “utmost pervasion”, for discussing different ideas outside any mainstream, well, this is my offering, and i appreaciate any criticism or insight that anyone would be so gracious to provide, it’s been called juvenile and masturbatory, which i can’t refute, cause i understand sz, and i understand that the cure is not to be reading my books, but rather can be presented in three very short sentences, and sometimes I use this cure…
Language bad.
Allergic to though.
The Great Black schizophrenia is beyond all talking about.
) so Im just gonna say I think I am right.
My husband tends to say sometimes that I might have Schizotypal personality instead of Sch, and I needed this clarification a lot.