Hi! I’m new on this forum and I have some serious questions:
I was in a meeting with a psychiatrist two days ago and I’ve been suffering from psychotic symptoms since I was 16/17. I heard voices that told me to harm myself and others, they also criticised me and everything I was doing. I also had delusions; I thought people were trying to poison my food, I thought I was God, I thought there were someone monitoring me, or that someone placed cameras in my room to monitor me, just to mention a few of my symptoms.
I still suffer from the symptoms above, and it’s only getting worse and worse. I am on 20mg Abilify, but it’s not helping. Anyway, back to the topic. I was in my psychiatrists office and she asked me about my symptoms. I explained them very well, I guess. and I also explained how long I’ve had them for. She told me “the symptoms you’re experiencing are psychotic symptoms”, and “I think you do suffer from a psychotic disorder, probably schizophrenia. I will transfer you to the psychosis clinic.”.
A lot of questions have been occuring since the meeting. If a psychiatrist tells me that I probably suffer from schizophrenia, am I, then? Because I can’t believe this. It feels so surreal. Do you think I will be diagnosed with schizophrenia in the near future? Because I’m so scared I’m faking my symptoms and that everything I actually experience isn’t real. That I’m not psychotic. Is it normal to feel that way if you’re psychotic? I have no one to talk about this in my surroundings, so I turned to this forum to see if anyone would have an answer to my questions. Thank you so much! 
Welcome to the forum. 
Your doctor is definetely the best person to advise you on your diagnosis.
How long have you been on abilify? It can take a few months to work.
Welcome!
You’re not alone: In the past week, a ton of people have posted on here they they, too, think they are faking and that they’re not really ill. Please now that it’s very common for schizophrenics to lack insight into our own illness. We just can’t believe our senses are playing tricks on us. It’s called anosognosia, or lack of insigh/denial of illness.
I had similar experiences while actively psychotic. I went on meds and after about 6 months, I was recovering well. After a year, I was much more stable and I could see that it was the illness making me think that I wasn’t ill.
Here’s a super long lecture (if you have time to watch it) by a Dr. on Anosognosia, the official term for lack of insight.
Thank you so much! 
I’ve been on abilify for about a year and a half so… quite long hehe. I don’t know why they don’t think about changing my medication, but oh well.
Oh, that’s interesting…! I didn’t know that. I’m so glad you’re feeling better. Keep fighting! I have a lot of time on my hands so I’ll actually watch that video now. Thank you for the suggestion! 
A year and a half is quite a long time. It might not be working out for you. Talk it over with your doctor. Changing meds can be risky but if it’s not doing anything for you then definetely bring that option up with your doctor.
I’ve had nearly continual thoughts that I’m faking it/its all in my head/I’m not really sick I’m just overreacting since things got bad enough for me to be medicated and diagnosed as schizophrenic. I think its a very normal and common experience for people like us to think our symptoms are fake or not real. It’s part of the illness
Yeah, I guess I will. Thank you so much. I hope you’re alright!
I guess it is a part of the illness, yeah…
It’s normal for a psychotic person to feel like they are “faking” their symptoms, when they are really not. It’s also normal to feel like your doctor thinks you are faking your symptoms. This is all part of the psychosis. All part of the schizophrenia.
When the schizophrenia symptoms ease, this will all become clear to you.
Hi @SplitMind You said you’ve experienced psychosis from 16-17yrs, how are you doing now? If it was your first time with psychosis it may hopefully be the last. The meds will help you to stay more in control of your thoughts. I was on 30mg. I hope you return to this site and feel more comfortable to share your experiences with us 
Yes, I definitely feel like the doctors don’t believe me when I tell them my symptoms, and it makes me so frustrated. Thank you for your reply!
Hello! I am not doing too well at the moment. I am currently experiencing the symptoms I described in the first post. How are you?
It was not my first psychosis, I am pretty much showing symptoms all the time which is really annoying. Did Abilify help you at 30mg? My doctor told me it’s a very “kind” medicine and it makes me think it doesnt help at all. I will definitely return here! I actually love this forum You’re all so supportive!
I wonder if you are angry. I think profound hot anger can be a root cause. I am guessing you are angry.
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Only a doctor can diagnose SZ. Getting diagnosed by random strangers on the Internet is a bad idea.
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This specific forum category is only supposed to be used by those who currently or previously held an SZ or SZa diagnosis.
I did not mean for people here to diagnose me. You’d understand if you read what I wrote. Like I also said, I’m new here and I didn’t really know what category to place my questions in. Thank you for being so observant! :-------)
because i didn’t want the label of szphrenic I thought that i was faking it too. but I wasn’t. it’s real. you do have psychotic symptoms. but dont be afraid. you are not alone.
Thank you loads. I hope you’re alright!
so you are not diagnosed yet?
Not yet, no. But I am being transferred to a psychosis clinic and if I have schizophrenia, they will diagnose me.