The funny thing is I don’t feel psychotic or unstable right now. I told her the truth when asked if I was hearing or seeing things. I brought up how I see words appear everywhere along with faces appearing in things and how I frequently hear people in the other room talking (sometimes about me, or I hear my name at least) that aren’t there at all. The latter one is annoying because I have to check all the time and most of the time it was just in my head. Feeling like I’m being monitored is on and off but I mentioned it anyway and also that I stopped taking my geodon last month. I don’t feel any different really, actually a lot better since the new year.
I think I am pretty coherent and grounded in reality and these things I mentioned are really of such little significance to me other than being weird. I’ve asked others and they agree with what my doc said. I’m prescribed 2mg risperidone now which I’m supposed to take every day but I haven’t touched it yet because I don’t feel like I need that in my system right now.
I’ve learned after 40 years of living with this disease, sza, that if my psychotic symptoms don’t bother me, who cares? Not me or my pdocs. @Kirila@annadonna94
@LevelJ1 Yeah, but take for instance I am currently in the sza manic psychotic faze. It’s occasionally severe though more managable by the day. I can use this time to form healthy habits which in turn will help me when depression/the negatives come. It will be substantially harder to form healthy habits while depressed.
My difficulty functioning right now I think can be more attributed to my extreme and unpredictable mood shifts that are caused by certain triggers. I do have bipolar but it’s not that kind of mood shift, more of a BPD thing I guess.
That said, I’ve been much worse than I am now before even though things like showering and getting dressed take so much effort. I’m just wary of docs over-medicating me like they’ve done before. 2mg of risperidone, although a relatively small dose still seems overkill for the symptoms I described to my pdoc.