I don’t know if I’m faking it or not because I mean why would I fake it but it doesn’t seem real I honestly have no ■■■■■■■ clue, does anyone else ever feel this way ?
2 Likes
@Rcundy1, I used to feel that way back when I was very psychotic and paranoid. It’s almost like I was paranoid of myself even. Now that the paranoia is all gone, (on meds), I know for sure that I wasn’t faking it. It was all only too real that I was psychotic.
3 Likes
Okay I mean I’m not on a high enough dose to actually help with anything but I can’t say anything because it’s gonna be a paradoxical choice that’s gonna end in one way or another just seeing if any others feel coincidentally on the same page as I
Yes, I felt that way before.
1 Like
And that “mind all over the place” is a sure sign of something being wrong. You need to talk to your pdoc about it.
Okay glad I’m not alone
1 Like
But I learned I wasn’t faking.
1 Like
They are jokes they don’t take anything I say seriously just they sit there and I swear their notes are just fobbing me off picking me apart but I mean they make me feel all ■■■■■■■ shy which means I get nothing out so it’s all on me I can help myself outa this ■■■■ with a bit of bouncing off a few people on this forum
1 Like
How would you do that like I mean if I try and break it apart then maybe I’m making up the part that’s breaking apart to just tick some boxes
@Rcundy1, You are just barely making any sense. I think you need to see your psychiatrist and engage in a conversation with him/her about your troubles.
It’s hard in many ways to see yourself objectively. Believe me, most people are not seeing psychiatrists and going in hospitals and having other people suspect that we have something drastically wrong with us. Most people do not have other people (or themselves) strongly suggesting we have schizophrenia.
Of course if you subscribe to the train of thought that everybody on the planet is crazy at one time or another (which seems to be true if you live long enough)it might cast doubts if we really deserve a label of schizophrenia, or if we are just like everybody else but we kind of are stuck with drastic mental problems that in their extremeness gain us the diagnosis.
2 Likes
Many apologies 115151155151
1 Like
Schizophrenia is an extreme mental illness. Our thoughts, delusions and symptoms are more extreme than what the father of five or the bus driver or the college cheerleader experience. But it’s hard to tell because schizophrenia “sneaks up on us” . It starts off slowly and gradually and gets worse and worse, and our thoughts or behaviour gradually get weirder and weirder until it just seems obvious that something is drastically wrong (maybe not to us, but in most cases people who know us, like family and friends can see the changes in us that mean mental illness)
It seems to be that I mean I started of small Voices and now I’m part of the experiment that no matter what I do is part of me and everything around us but I mean it could all be a test to see if I would react to stimuli put in front of me but I mean we don’t know who’s in charge of the experiment but besides the point I don’t think I’m ill I act perfectly normal or as normal as can be I’m just part of something that only I’m aware of
My pet theory is that no one is a 100% schizophrenic. Everybody with schizophrenia still has some kind of normalcy to them. This is what I have observed over the years. I’ve been schizophrenic for 38 years and I can make perfect sense most of the time and when I drive 45 minutes to work three days a week through traffic nobody gives me a second glance. And when I go out to eat dinner with my sisters, the majority of the time no one can tell anything is wrong with me.
I don’t act weird or stand out negatively in public. I’m friendly and I’ll talk to strangers if they want to and make semi-funny remarks to cashiers that are not out of the ordinary and the only thing that gives me away sometimes is that I got in the terrible habit of keeping my head bowed when using the little machine with my debit card when I’m in stores. But this is a new thing that started just about a year ago. Other than that I still pretty much pass for my version of normal. But during the eighties and nineties it was rare for anyone to tell anything was wrong with me and I pretty much went where I wanted to freely. And even with the problem with the debit card which I might very well conquer, no one knows I have schizophrenia. They may tell I’m off but they can’t tell I have schizophrenia.
So when you tell me you are not sick because you act normal my story shows that acting and sounding normal is true for many, many schizophrenics. So you can act normal but still have schizophrenia. From 1993 to 1997 I worked unloading trucks at Sears. It was back-breaking work and I was in my mid-thirties and I worked shoulder to shoulder with a bunch of teenagers and twenty-somethings. No one knew I was ill and as a matter of fact, I out-worked most of those bums (I actually thought they were alright but I was older and because I was one of the best workers I was not popular). But I was thinking about it years later and I thought, "Hey, they thought I was perfectly normal. And I thought they were perfectly normal. But chances were that one of them could have been schizophrenic. Who knows? There I was, pretty much accepted so my theory was that one of them had the same chances as me of being schizophrenic. Make sense?
2 Likes
Yes, that makes sense to me. Even though I have had schizophrenia I never saw that as all of me. I guess I never resigned to that diagnosis.
Also it is surprising but if you don’t tell people you have schizophrenia, they usually will not know. This has been true at my job for 13 years.
1 Like
!3 years. Pretty impressive.
The truth is I was always too afraid of how I would pay the bills and maintain my standard of living if I quit my job.
1 Like