Hi everyone, this is something that I’ve been thinking about and I just wanted to post it here because I’ve seen some chats about it recently.
I have a psychotic illness and I’m a mum. So far I’ve been diagnosed with schizophreniform and am awaiting further diagnosis. I have two young children. From time to time I see posts or comments about not wanting to have children for fear of passing schizophrenia along to the children. I understand that this is a deeply personal choice, and I in no way want to question that decision or offend anyone, but I am someone who already has children and has to look at them and wonder if they will inherit this illness from me.
I feel guilty. Perhaps if I’d gotten sick before I had children I might have chosen not to have them.
But then I look at their little faces and I wouldn’t wish them away for anything. They are valued. They are beautiful little people and they have their whole lives in front of them. They may get sick - that’s the nature of inherited illnesses, but they won’t be any less valued or loved. They deserve to have their life regardless of the risk. If they do get sick I will be there for them in any capacity I can as I’m sure my husband will be. I will teach them that the illness doesn’t define them, that their life is worth living and, while respecting their personal choice, not to be afraid of having children because the lives of their children will also be worthwhile.
If they become incapacitated and choose not to have children because they can’t care for them I would understand. I just hope that they don’t choose to avoid having children because of a risk.
I don’t mean to offend anyone. I just needed to say this because when I consider everything I would have been someone who avoided having children out of fear of this illness. I respect everyone’s personal decisions though.