Yeah I clicked to reply to a comment about it but then it disappeared? Maybe it was far up the thread and it reloaded or something, oh well.
My Dr. said no stimulants. He upped my trazodone to 300 mg and added buspar. He mentioned that every patient (ideally, in his opinion) should have a detailed neuro-psychological exam, pet scan, and fmri scan. But most people cannot afford this, including me. I mentioned to him that my MRI showed I had white spots on my brain, which he said could be from mini strokes, which could explain my lack of motivation. He said APs shouldn’t decrease motivation and it stems from depression or something else–like not being stable or being undermedicated! It could be purely psychological or something of that manner. He said the illness can mess with peoples’ psyche. I also could have brain damage, I don’t know.
He thinks it’s likely I have bipolar. I’m on 4.5 mg of Vraylar. I can do online classes, but I might have to go on-go off a couple days to see how the meds affect me. That’s the only way to tell if it’s affecting my motivation.
He’s a good, smart doctor, but I find him to be rude sometimes. Little to no bedside manner.
When I mentioned the philosophy of the matrix, he asked me if I wanted to up my AP. I told him it doesn’t affect me/bother me, so no. Why do I want more medication? I want less.
He said my paranoia is sort of/could be considered normal.
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So today begins my journey down to 7.5 mg of abilify. I hope things work out well 
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I feel better and alert. Oh man am I glad I finally got a new psychiatrist and medicine. I feel so much more normal going out, and have been thinking about things other than my illness for a good portion of the day
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Glad to hear you’re feeling better agent 101g. The right medication can make a big difference.
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Had a nurse and OT come by the house for my mother in law today,
Seems like they don’t actually DO much aside from take notes and talk.
I wish someone was teaching her how to handle little everyday tasks better or at least how to get in and out of bed by herself.
I don’t know, maybe I’m asking too much.
Anyway,
Another exhausting day of being a handmaid.
Now I have to bake a birthday cake from scratch for our friend that is visiting us.
No breaks,
I guess this is what I get for being able to do whatever I wanted for so many years,
Too bad I was too crazy to enjoy it.
Oy vey.
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I’m supposed to put up with b. I just want ■■■■ to move.get out get out get out
we should have a stich and ■■■■■ party 
when i get mad i put it down on the pad
What are you drawing these days?
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Idk honestly! Will figure it out, plenty of time, haven’t got much going on rn.
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Hey there @ThePickinSkunk I have been well today. I slept the day away, again haha.
But I went grocery shopping super early this morning.
Hope you’re well.
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The first OT appointment is just an assessment. Next time, they’ll probably start working on tasks. But they have to evaluate her first, so they know what tasks to prioritize.
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This was her second appointment with them,
That’s why I was a little disappointed.
But this was her first time seeing this OT so maybe you’re right.
She’s supposed to see the same person from now on.
Thanks!
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I’m sorry things are so hard. Please keep sharing your struggles. That’s what this site exists for. Things don’t have to be all memes and silly stories all the time. It’s okay to actually want support.
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I’ve had a good day. I just got back from my sister’s house, spent a couple hours hanging out there. She helped me out with a little money again, but this should be the last time; I should be able to support myself once I start getting gas station pay.
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I’m feeling a little down. I don’t know why. I feel like a loser.
I don’t feel so bad. It’s just a passing thing. I don’t know why. Maybe it is just that I don’t have much to do. Too much time to think. I miss my friends and my old life before I was diagnosed. I think I’m feeling a little better now. Venting on here helps.
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Glad you are feeling better. I miss being well and having lots of friends too.
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Thanks TomCat. I appreciate the support. How do you like your new house? I remember reading you were looking to purchasing a home. That’s pretty awesome.
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