I have Schizophrenia and am having a bit of an issue right now with my relationship. My girlfriend has bipolar disorder and feels like she shouldn’t express her problems to me because it might send me over the deep end, overstimulate me, stress me out, etc. --but what I don’t understand is the fact that when you connect with someone on levels so vast and even spiritual at times, it’s a teamwork, and I don’t know why she can’t see it like that. You work as a team, thus: together. I know she’s only looking out for me and cares about me SO much that she doesn’t want to make anything worse for me, but its irritating because it can’t just be a one-way trip in a two-person relationship. Its not all about me. So I am simply asking for some advice. I would like her to know that I WANT her to come to me with her problems just as I come to her with mine. I would like for us both to be an open book to one another as I am to her. So if anybody could please give me some advice on what I should say to her to help her to understand where I’m coming from, it’d be greatly appreciated.
Are you sure she feels she shouldn’t express her problems? Some people just naturally prefer to keep their problems to themselves and work through things on their own. My spouse is this way.
If she isn’t comfortable opening up to you yet, give it time. Eventually you will see that side of her. Nobody manages to pretend to be normal for the entire relationship. How long have you guys been together?
We’ve been together for almost a year now (not that long, but we have a very strong connection). I just wish that it could be more of a you help me, I help you kind of thing, because we both do have a lot of issues quite often. I just hope you’re right and that she will eventually show the sides of her that she won’t let me see or help with now. I appreciate the reply, my friend! Thanks
~AdventBuffalo
It is possible she is working out something distressing on her own. It is also possible she just feels bad sometimes and there is no real reason for it, thus she feels talking about it will not help. All you can do is tell her you want to help if she is willing to let you.
Just a thought, did something happen where her drama did end up triggering you? Does she have a reason to feel this way?
Maybe shes the type to not like to complain. Also i watch ur vids c:
I’ve thought of that as well, and I am more than open and accepting about giving her her space, she does the same for me when I need it, but it just seems like she only wants to try and help/talk with me about my issues and isn’t open whatsoever about talking about hers, and for me I can see a lot of times that she’s suffering and want to help, but the connection between as I said the “teamwork” thing that I feel is needed, is just not there. And nothing has happened in the past to make her feel as if it will trigger me, its confusing. Anyways thanks for the comment Sunlion!
It just seems odd to me. I wish we could be closer in a more open level so to speak. And by the way thanks for watching my videos! I really appreciate it.
It’s natural in a relationship to have periods of decreased communication. If you feel stable enough to help her out, let her know, she’s probably just waiting for you to tell her that. The key in communicating is to let the conversation flow, making all parties comfortable in expressing themselves. If you talk to her in a passive agressive way “You never tell me your issues”, she will close up even more. If you’re sweet and gentle about it, she’ll be more open to communication. It’s all a matter of presentation.
Now if you excuse me, my kitten is destroying the toilet paper