Hi, this is my first post. My name is Stephen and my girlfriend/fiancee is currently suffering from a prolonged episode of schizophrenia that has been ongoing for at least 8 weeks now. Prior to the illness, our relationship was rock-solid and we cared very much for one another.
However, I’ve had very little support/information and I don’t quite understand the full extent of how this illness affects people, and now things are starting to fall apart.
Yesterday, she told me she loves another man and she no longer loves me. When I asked her what she plans to do about it, she simply told me she hopes he feels the same way about her and she’ll take it from there. The man she’s talking about is someone she used to live with 7 years ago and is currently living 2 hours drive away with his girlfriend (who I think could be his wife now). They were good friends but nothing more apparently.
I questioned why she was still wearing her engagement ring and she told me it was to protect her reputation from the press, who she believes want to write a hit-piece on her. She then very willingly took the ring off and tried to give it back to me. While she’s been ill, she really struggles to talk and when she does, it’s very quiet. After she told me she loves this other man, her voice was loud and clear, and she seemed energised and relieved.
So I’m here, hoping beyond hope that someone can assure me that this is part of her schizophrenia. We’re “on a break” now, though I’m wondering if that’s a good idea since it could destabilise her more? She’s been living with her parents since the start of the illness and they have past experience, so she has support.
I’m really sorry for my ramblings, but I’m getting desperate as I love her so much, and hope someone could give me advice.
I’ve had schizophrenia for 27 years, and my mind has usually been clear about who I care about.
Hi Charla. But is it true that it affects everyone in a different way?
Dude I’m sorry to hear your pain man. You must be really going through some suffering. What id say is if you really love her then stay on here and learn as much about schizophrenia as you can: look into meds, supplements, therapies etc. Whether you guys will get together again obviously that’s a decision you both have to make. Love hurts brother. If it doesn’t it’s not love. Do you have any questions, I don’t know much but welcome to the forum. There’s a ton of good people on here who will help.
Learning about this illness you could really help a lot of people because it’s painful and confusing. When my symptoms are bad, I don’t know what’s real and what’s not. She’s probably hearing inner voices I.e. Literally people whispering in her ear, or outer voices which are faint voices of people off in the distance which can be perceived as being in the other room, outside the window just out of sight and they’re believable.
There’s a really short ebook which I read just yesterday which explained this second type of delusion/hallucination perfectly:
"“In my condition, the disease always feels like an external thing – it is not part of myself or who I am. It does not “take control” of me but rather forms arguments that distort my perception of reality and causes one to believe that taking bizarre and extraordinary actions could or would have a positive result due to some strange and complicated circumstance.”
Excerpt From: Abeysinghe, Isuru. “Managing Schizophrenia: A Personal Perspective.” iBooks.
This material may be protected by copyright.
Check out this book on the iBooks Store: https://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewBook?id=550917715
And don’t worry, she can get better. She may just be having a temporary bout of psychosis, or something not as difficult to bear as schizophrenia. There are a whole array of mental illnesses and often is difficult for doctors to pinpoint, but time, Truth and Love (that is God) will help her feel better and find mental peace.
Yes. I did make a mistake about getting involved with someone once.
Kevin, thanks for the detailed reply and for the compassion. I have been going through hell and never expected things to turn out the way it has.
I’ll look at that Ebook your recommend, and I’ll certainly take up your advice on soaking up as much info as possible.
Mad love brother, don’t worry about anything. Many if not most people here here have gone through similar situations. Honestly after my first bout of schizophrenia I was fully convinced that the things I was hearing/experiencing were real but after two weeks in the hospital on proper medication I sort of shook it off and was able to realize how strange the things I was experiencing were. I thought people were trying to kill me and my family and many people I saw were “in on it too”. Don’t believe the devil when he tells you you will never see the woman you knew before again. The Truth that the doctors, pharmacists, psychologists, community, and sufferers have been trained in seeking will set you all free from this pain. Seek and you shall find.
The ebook is really short and insightful. If you want send me an e mail at kevonb124 at gmail dot com . I wanna hear what you’re going through man
I think they used to classify it as different types or subcategories I.e. Paranoid schizophrenia, disorganized schizophrenia, catatonic etc. But now I think doctors classify it under either just schizophrenia or schizoaffective.
Check out this link and it will give you the literal medical definition. If it’s been going on for 8 weeks I’m sad to say she might have schizophrenia or schizoaffective but only a doctor can really tell. If she’s had mood swings from being depressed to being manic (sleeping little, taking on many new projects, seems elated) she may have schizoaffective like I have, which is basically half way between schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. The end result for that illness if medicated is a little easier to bear.
@Stevonatron I’d like to encourage you to join our forum for Family and Caregivers that can be found at:
While this is a peer support forum for people with schizophrenia and other closely related psychotic disorders, the Family forum is specifically for people like yourself, who have a loved one they are concerned about.
Also, please let your loved one know about this forum as they may find it helpful.
Best of luck,