Reading with voices

Anyone in here able to read successfully while hearing voices or being sz? I specifically dislike reading now…and do not read books. It is half the fact that I hear voices and half not being interested. I dont think its a concentration issue but more not having the emotion to really enjoy it. Hard to explain.

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I do still read. I used to read because I was sure people were reading my mind. So if I was reading something like “Treasure Island” and someone was reading my thoughts, then all they would be doing is reading Treasure Island too.

Then there was a time my voices would read out what I was reading. It was hard to get used to, but they weren’t telling me to kill my family or cut my fingers off any more.

When I hit a bought of negative symptom I am not motivated to read. But my sis got me graphic novels (quick reads with lots of pics) Then when I’m out of the negative, I pick up the book again.

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when I read, my voices actually act out the story in my head, so it is like they are helping me read.

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I can read. Last year I was reading to learn a Chinese medicine. I was doing really good.

A few months ago, I still read for long hours, spending consecutive days on reading and read every day for like twenty hours. But they are not serious stuff. I don’t need to think to comprehend everything.

A few weeks ago, I read academic research papers. I can manage but I cannot read as much as I used to be able to. I need to stop and give myself long break. Strangely my friends without sz are comparing their reading performance with me and we find out I still read better than they do. They say with my cognitive deficits I’m still higher performing than they do. I used to be a top student in schools and am considered gifted and talented. Btw, I was administered intelligence test and they say I’m an outliner. I often reach the ceiling. So they don’t consider any data they get from me useful to understand the disorder.

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I would read alot before I got on medication. It was sometimes hard to focus but I was able to finish books and learn material from textbooks regardless of hearing voices, because the voices werent quite as bad when I was focusing on something. But I did have some trouble…hearing voices 24/7 wasn’t fun and it together with the delusions make me a B not an A student like I am now (on meds, free from voices).

For me it’s an emotion thing. If I’m manic or passionately engrossed with words and stories then I can do it. It’s easier to train my brain by writing poetry. It just gets hard too because then the more “normal” I appear the more people treat me differently.

You all should really check out “The Seventh Day” By Scott Shepherd. I’m reading it right now, and it is an already vivid journey. I feel like the adventure is just beginning when I’m only on the 7th “episode”, the scenes work through in flash backs and flash forwards, so it takes a little mental effort to read. Book Website

I’m also going to recommend this book: “Let the Great World Spin” by Colum Mccann. It’s supposed to be really good. I’m going to start this one soon.

http://www.npr.org/2011/07/15/129479187/a-kaleidoscopic-book-thatll-make-your-world-spin

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