Well, I had a moment of manic energy and not enough sleep. I woke up Friday at 5 am to do community service and I’ve had about three hours of sleep since then, plus a lot of caffeine, and well, I foia’d myself again freedom of information act in which you can request all publicly available data on a person or event, in this case, myself and my cannabis dui case
The first time I let too much time pass on returning the document that I needed to sign to get information on myself and my appellate case. I apologized to the feds, etc… for having to mass email all the gov agencies again, explained that my executive functioning is messed up due to sz, then re-ordered a foia on myself…then I sent them several links on some stuff that I wanted investigated, including a scandal involving police that keeps making the headlines in our city. One officer has already been arrested by the feds, but I am pointing to an even bigger, more influential officer.
I think cops are hot, I’m not anti-cop, but this one cop has a really bad past that is an open secret here
In my city, a blogger (who police think was a sz, or at the very least, had paranoid personality disorder) was found with stab wounds and burned to death in his home. He had written about police corruption of this one cop and was paranoid as paranoids get. The city ruled his death a suicide, but I find that hard to believe. I know this just might be my sz, hence the topic being in “unusual beliefs,” but regardless, I requested the feds look into those specific officers and into the death of said blogger and also into a the original scandal that said blogger wrote about that caused him to feel targeted.
So…I emailed them a long request in this grandiose “I do it for everyone, not just myself” voice and sent it off. I am now going to go through the stages of sz paranoia:
denial: the email probably won’t be read
fear: omg the email is going to get read
super fear: omg the feds are going to watch me
mega super fear: omg the local police are going to target me for harassment
paranoia: i recorded 1 car I assumed was an undercover and 1 actual police car, both of whom I saw on my walk right after I filed the foia request via email.
regret: I kind of regret it.
Doom: I am waiting for the fall out
Has anyone else reached out to government officials in a state of paranoia (warranted or not)? No need for details, I know we are all paranoid here.
Ugh. I feel hung-over on my manic, grandiose energy. I haven’t been smoking cannabis and lately I’ve had this mania and irritable restlessness that keeps making me do stuff like foia myself or start a business webpage. It’s all very problematic.
Also, I’m afraid this will get out and my new business facebook page will be compromised and I’ll fail and fall flat on my face with my art prints biz.
Thank you for reading and I appreciate any comments or suggestions you might have. Yes, I took Abilify yesterday. I think not being on cannabis has sparked too much energy in myself. I cannot afford cannabis, plus it makes my mom happy that I’m not smoking cannabis anymore, so I’ve been clean for more than a couple weeks, but I’m not accustomed to all this energy and I’ve been acting on it.
Thank you guys again! Other than that, I’ve been great! Been applying to vendor fairs locally to sell my artwork! Mostly successfully, too! I’ve also been making a ton of art in a creative spree. I still want to paint one painting to post here, but I need to get canvas again. I am thinking of painting “Portrait of Thy Potato” or “Great Potato Savior: A Still Life.” I have the potato as model, just not the canvas.
and I’m still sleeping like a vampire. 