I haven’t seen the guy in like a couple of years. So, it is hard to say. But, voices can confuse me and influence me when they occur. Yeah, I don’t generally have anything for other men. I am just confused about the whole issue I suppose.
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Yeah, confusing,
If it keeps happening, think whether it’s distressing or enjoy it, that might help you figure out your sexual attractions.
Hope whatever happens you’re okay.
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Yeah, I know what you mean, it is quite distressing, but there is an element of thrill in it, which makes it enjoyable while doing the deed. I don’t know, afterwards, it is like, quite distressing. If you know what I mean.
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I do, whole heartedly.
I’m glad you are able to talk about it. It helps not keeping it a secret. Even if its just on an anonymous forum.
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Yes, I can only do this here. It is anonymous that is why.
I was confused which is why I wrote about it here.
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Yes, maybe it is just that, that it is taboo. I am also thinking it has to do with arousal.
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I noticed one thing that when masturbating I needed to have a realistic or plausible scenario sometimes, or else it wouldnt be arousing. Perhaps above all other scenarios this seemed more plausible?
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Maybe, can’t really say.
Yeah, if you know a woman, then it becomes a plausible scenario I suppose. In that case masturbation is easier in that scenario.
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By the way, as far as attractions are concerned, I have been noticing very carefully lately, and I have absolutely no attraction to other men that I see daily. It is like I am completely straight, whereas when I see a woman, I find that arousing. So, in person it is not this way I think, but the voices make me fantasize on a particular person.
are u afraid of not being fully straight? because the voices and stuff will find the thing u are most afraid of and use it to bother u.
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I think I may be fully straight. Voices are imaginary, but who knows what is happening with me, no clue.
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Do you think about this person sexually without the voices?
It has been happening lately, but it began with the voices. The voices trained me I suppose.
And it’s someone you know but haven’t seen. And no other male you feel this way towards.
Is it all physical body parts face touch, or is there an emotional component when you think about him now?
I know the person through my life but haven’t seen latelty.
I can’t say it is emotional, perhaps it is just physical only.
I haven’t felt this way towards no other male, plus I see people daily, and have no attractions towards males.
Yeah, you are going through something.
I see why you are questioning.
And the conclusion is inconclusive at this point.
Have you can talk to your therapist/pdoc at all?
About what to do. If you are thinking about this a lot and enjoying it for the momemt and feeling bad afterwards, it’s not healthy for your brain. The distress. Guilt. Whatever comes up. Wondering why you keep wanting to.
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I can’t talk to a therapist about it because it is a conservative country. Who knows what the therapist will assume.
Actually, what is happening is that, I started taking Modafinil, and I think my sex drive shot up, so these thoughts are there lately more often. But, I feel very distressed afterwards. So, therein lies the dilemma, because I have only been physically attracted to women before.
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So a lot is happening and making your go to fantasy this guy. And it makes you uncomfortable afterwards.
Not the worst problem. Maybe you will get bored and think about someone else down the road.
For now, don’t beat yourself up afterwards.
Yeah, who knows.
You know what, I want to meet the person physically, not to do anything, but to see if this attraction carries in person, or is just in imagination?
It’s normal, you have a fantasy and its intense and you will feel compelled to meet someone you have these thoughts about.