okay so i went wierd last night… scary wierd…i got lost.
mrs. sith says i don’t need a costume for halloween…i can come as i am !?!
i joke about it…
…mrs. sith isn’t laughing… yet !?!
i have said sorry …many times !!
the positive is i came out of it quickly.
okay so i went wierd last night… scary wierd…i got lost.
It happens to the best.
But who needs an emo hug here, Darksith or his graceful wife?
I hope you feeling better.
Saying sorry a lot just seems to be our lot.
here’s to better days…
I have it 24 hrs a day prolly because im surrounded by satanic witches and their minions …but HEY if I can soldier on anybody can…I haven’t killed anybody yet.
Sorry to hear of your Halloween suit came too soon.
I’m glad it was over pretty quickly.
It may have been scary, but as long as you value life and others property (anything exclusively yours is fair game tho)
a few “sorry’s” should be good.
Sometimes with all the Sh*At we’ve delt with in life, it boils for soo long until it “Blows”…let’s the acid out that would otherwise consume us. So it’s not necessarily a bad thing to experience.
I have been know to frequent the ? well, my hubby calls me “monster” and dashes in with a thick chunk of something chocolate to sooth the ugly beast. works for me.
Chocolate for everyone!!
I’ve had that. Ì was trying to tell my dad that I felt like I was going to run through the wall at any minute and felt like I was going to explode and he wasn’t taking me seriously , then I just started screaming and raging out of control and then I was told to go to my room until I would calm down.
Yeah that was fun?
Hope you feel better sith
Best wishes, DarkSith.
And how did you “come out of it quickly”? Any tips? Could be useful to know that.
It happens. Like they say in my country “we’re not made of iron” which means it’s natural to have rages sometimes.
Hope mrs sith forgives you fast enough for halloween.
I am glad that you are doing better now @darksith - Some set backs are expected with this Awful illness.
I flipped out one time, because it was the August heat and my mom didn’t want to install the air conditioner. I hope she forgives you soon. It is hard to deal sometimes.
i have an alien who helps me see sense…he is around me 24/7.
my psychotic rages happen less these days…and do not last as long…due i think to therapy.
my psychotic rages are linked to my abuse as a child…
i am now understanding the triggers and can apply logic once the rage/hate/and fog has cleared in my mind.
“anything exclusively yours is fair game tho”
That is not always the case. Some states have laws in place that you get arrested for breaking any property.
thanks to everyone for your support…
mrs. sith has forgiven me now…
i can come back into the house … " YIPPEE !?!..
Time to reconsider meds?
Not good man! Take care.
I’m glad you came out of it. What do you do after you mess up like this? I freaked out on C one time and went through his phone, took pictures of some texts, and started screaming that he was cheating on me. I never properly apologized because I know that people who are abusive apologize, buy gifts, promise to change, etc.
I was just afraid that if I bought him a little gift as an ‘I’m sorry’ that might make it abuse. I’m afraid it’s about to happen again. I’ve never hit him or even screamed at him except accusing him of cheating (no swearing no I hate you or you’re an awful person).
I have therapy Thursday and I hope to deal with it then but in the mean time, any advice?
The police are mostly concerned with public safety laws that focus on preventing harm to others an/or being a nuisance,
ie. costing others their time and/or money to deal with you.
- Harm no body, including the self.
- Don’t deprive others of their property, the use of any property shared, or their time and/or money.
- Clean up your mess you make.
- Quiet time between the hours of 10PM and 8AM. (people need sleep to function properly)
Act out, but do it responsibly, not dangerously, and the police won’t have a reason to arrest you.
keeps everybody happy this way.
What was your psychotic rage like? I went into a rage the time I went psychotic.
I usually refer to it as a blood rage. The feeling of anger and hate actually felt pleasurable. This created a runaway effect in which I kept getting angrier and angrier. I paced around my apartment for hours and hours on end cursing non-stop, all over the fact that I got a mediocre review at work.
Within the next two weeks 3 of the neighbors in the apartment building I was in moved out. I wonder why!
Yeah I’ve had psychotic rage before, topped with preworkout stimulants.
Those were dark times.
Better days are in town, but I still have a tendency towards anger, I have a very short fuse. For example the shower head was rotated at a 90 degree angle and when I turned it on it got the whole bathroom wet. I was pissed and it took about three hours of talking to myself in bed to sort it out and calm down.
But I’m not taking 4 scoops of preworkout and two nitric oxide pills off meds like I used to. I have come a long way! But I still have some anger issues. I’m a little angry right now, every morning I wake up and take meds and then throw them and the coffee and breakfast up in my mouth and it doesn’t make for a pleasant experience. I am sitting here waiting for my first two meds and coffee to settle before eating breakfast. I’m seeing a stomach doctor, my friend’s dad before too long to get my vomiting fixed.
Psychotic rage is actually severe-it is extremely serious and is hard for normal people to imagine. Hearing voices thinking crazy crap whilst pissed off, getting even more pissed off- not really okay.
You’ve got control of yourself from what you said, so just remember that you are in control of outbursts and can at least minimize them into spats or passive aggression instead of full blown psychotic rage.
I tend to minimize my anger into “I need to workout” or “I need my meds to kick in” instead of punching holes in drywall like I did when I was not aware of the psychosis.
I once punched a brick wall after beating a kid up and got a boxers fracture, broken bones in my hand connecting my little and ring fingers. I once punched through a glass covered picture and through the drywall. I once kicked a hole in a door. I once punched a concrete floor with MMA gloves on and that broke my middle knuckle for like the second or third time.
These days I write my thoughts in my journal and or workout or just sit and chill. If it’s really bad I lock myself in my room and talk it out with myself.
See, there are alternatives. I’m betting what you did wasn’t even that bad compared to my history.
And one time I was belligerent and drunk and surrounded and arrested by seven cops.
I really do have issues, I might present myself as far in recovery but my past is really dark.
But we write our own stories- don’t let the illness write your own life story, at least be primary author yourself!
I miss nitric oxide, if I recall correctly it made orgasms feel amazing.
therapy and anger management classes helped me step back from the explosive anger that was happening… look at the situation for a moment…
not as a life threatening thing…
try to let go of what I think is making me angry…
A lot of anger and panic taste the same… like bitter orange pith and vinegar. With anger and panic tasting the same… it makes me think they come from the same place… the same root in my head.
what scares me is when I’m calmly angry… I once tried to mash my sister’s boyfriend in a door… he was trying to get in and I was cool and calmly shutting the door on him as he was half way through it…
I was sort of out of my body… but still very calm and cold inside as I was doing this. Nearly broke his hand… as he was yelling at me… I just tuned out… it didn’t hit me…
I sort of scared myself in retrospect… that was the darkest place I’ve been in for a while.