I just went through a 2 hour rage session and felt like I was gonna pass out or something worse. After stopping my propranolol I’ve gone through a number of changes that have lead to daily rumination and higher reactivity to triggers.
I’m only writing this to see If I can get some encouragement or kind words given that I feel like I’m at the bottom of the world again. I try to be a better person and do little to no harm in the world but life seems to have it out for me.
I can’t change my past but I can try to grow from the lessons I’ve learned. It feels like no matter what I do I can’t change my lot…mental illness and shame abouty past.
Anybody can relate or offer encouragement to keep trying in the face of unchanging situation?
I definitely understand. I’ve been on both sides tho … causing harm and being harmed. I’ve learned to forgive myself but I’m still pretty reactive to some triggers… I hope to adapt one day
I stopped the propranolol because it seemed to be raising my blood sugar. do think I need some time to adjust but I feel like I’m really doing damage to my mind/ body when I get upset.
Usually I think people are abusing me and I ruminate for long time to cope with the hurt feelings and stuff. Often it turns to anger and it becomes compulsion after a while. I thing maybe I just need to simplify my life and refocus
Are you sure? That’s serious but I haven’t heard that being a side effect.
Same here! But my meds stop me from getting angry. I haven’t felt angry in years.
People treat me badly and it doesn’t bother me. I just focus on other things.
When I was on propranolol I felt calm as cucumber.
Paxil has also done something to my heart rate, I just don’t get upset anymore. My heart rate never goes up. It’s really weird.
I’m sorry that you feel mistreated, I know it really can mess with our minds. I used to dwell on things and went through scenarios in my mind almost constantly.
If you think this and its not actually the case then it seems your distorted thinking is the trigger for your anger.
In that case talking to a therapist could help you reframe your thinking
I’m not completely sure if it was the propranolol. I just know that around the time I started it I couldn’t get my blood sugar down. Could have been unrelated.
As far as you not getting angry anymore…that sounds like heaven bro… I would give anything to be able to let stuff just die down and then live at peace. Maybe I will ask my p-doc about propranolol again and keep an eye on my blood sugar. It did have me a lot calmer …
Well it’s not all that good. People treat me badly and I don’t set any boundaries. It’s a problem. Also I’m afraid what will happen when I quit taking these drugs. Will the rage come back in twofold?
It is but the up side is I’ve found some of the kindest people on the planet!!! Not many people like me but the people who do are really good people. I guess I have to remember that there is also a lot of good out there for me and everyone else too …
My plan is to lower my meds. I’m on two different Ap’s, I want to quit taking one. Also paxil has had a strange effect on me. I just feel weird on it. Sure, it helps with mood and panic attacks. But I feel as it stole something from me. I don’t have full range of emotions on it.
But if I have to take them for the rest of my life I’m fine with that.
I felt the same way on zyprexa… Kinda felt like not exactly my true self… I take latuda now and it’s much better but I actually like a 4 yr kid because of the restlessness.
Even tho I guess I’m grateful I live in this time with mental illness it’s still a sucky deal. We have to choose between being crazy and castrated emotionally/ cognitively…
I guess it better than being chained to a tree or something
same boat…
