Yesterday I arrived in China to visit my relatives. I was expecting a fun trip but it’s not what I expected. I’m fat and not as pretty as I used to be, and I dropped out of medical school. Plus stigma against schizophrenia in China is really bad. They think it’s the end of your life prospects and chance at marriage. All they ask about is how come my boyfriend is a security guard. I’m getting left out of conversations, just like I do among some of my moms Chinese friends in America who know I’m sick. I can’t help but feel that while some relatives feel sorry for me, others just secretly think I’m not worth talking to anymore. Even my mom says every Chinese around her treats her with pity for having such a daughter. It is my life goal to be accepted. sigh, anyway I feel like my trip to China got rained on a little. I really need to think less about the goals that are out of my reach. In reality I feel having big dreams that are out of my reach just end up frustrating me and hindering my recovery. When I get home I’ll try to focus on more practical things like moving out and loosing a little weight and living healthy.
I am sorry @anon62973308 , I love you dearly.
If you are Ok with your bf being a security guard that’s fine.
It is for you to decide not for them.
Don’t be afraid to talk openly about schizophrenia.
There will always be mean people who don’t take it well, but that’s not a reason to hide.
If you feel people treat you bad, don’t take it to heart.
There are better people out there who will treat you right.
I can treat you very well without asking for anything in return and without being your family member.
Try to pass the time successfully and that’s it.
And if you see relatives who you feel treat you well focus on them and develop a rapport with them.
I’m sorry people in your family are being less than accepting.
It seems like there are some high expectations. Where I’m from if you work full time you’re good. I don’t see anything undignified about being a security guard.
I must say, you don’t look fat in your selfies, but a positive change is a good thing. I have found that myfitnesspal is a good app for android when it comes to managing diet.
Your life prospects and chance at marriage are actually very good because there are more Chinese men than Chinese women. Schizophrenia is a underclass social status and you, your boyfriend and relatives have to accept that. Accept the pity. Accept your relatives feeling sorry for you. Just live your life with your boyfriend and hope for the best. Not everyone can have a successful life and be proud of their child. Your goal of being a housewife is realistic and bringing a grandchild to your parents would be a happy moment for your family.
@anon62973308 Isn’t is so that you are with your current bf only due to your schizophrenia?
I feel my schizophrenia makes me vulnerable, in particular vulnerable to manipulation.
My schizophrenia makes me more naïve and breaks my resistance to things that, if healthy my resistance would
have been stronger.(it makes me more submissive and more vulnerable to manipulation)
Perhaps if you were healthy you wouldn’t want this bf?
If that’s the case I advise against continuing the relationship.