I have five boyfriends we all lie say we are together, say were not together. We all really love each other but my mothers relationship has made me run for the hills and not commit to one person ever. Her husband interferes with my love life and acts like a bf creepy old dude and then fluctuates back into a supportive step father role. He treats my mom like his gf whom he does not like he spends hours droning on and talking bad about her mostly to me like he is trying to prove to me he is not into her and then if she is around he acts like he is hiding this weird feelings from her. He even interferes in my love life saying I can not have boyfriends or even friends or even talk to my real dad or he gets jealous. Then my mom starts treating me like the other woman and i hate this guy. Then he tells her i am being a.mean daughter to him. He goes thru my stuff, looks at me all weird like in a weird way and then plays my sz. That is what hurts the most when because he knows the nature of my illness his being a perv is disregarded by my family because i am mentally ill. He does it when they are not looking, so how exactly am i to prove it sense he obsessively knows my condition and makes me telling my family the truth look like a delusion. At this point i stay away from the creep. I have five boyfriends, i lie to my boyfriends because i am afraid if they know about this creep our relationship will fail because i am weird. Then i am afraid to commit to my boyfriends even polyamously because i think our relationship will fail or they will not accept each other or me because i have been abused and that creepy old man calls me a.cheater because he does.not want me with anyone, i like being polyamous and the men who love me will accept this as soon as i can tell them the truth about each.other. well they know a.little about each.other.mostly its because i have not commited no pun intended and i see them all separately while being sexually harassed by SF who makes me feel abused and like they will not want me for who i am or it will not work so i lie sometimes because hell i seriously feel like no one will want me. I am polyamous because i have adhd and can not even finish a.relationship i feel like i have not even began most of them because i am embarrassed of my family. Im not too busy. I can not do better than these five, i hope they do not treat me like a step father. Ewwwww. I am not looking to upgrade from these.five. i hope they do.not haye me for being.myself. i do not have to.drop one thing in exchange for.the other. Commitments are not to be treated like playing cards. What does that mean? I am going to be vulnerable with these five and take risks. I am embarrassed and hate my step father thats me being.honest and i want them to know if i am nice to him its a big fat lie. It will all work put in the end and if it does not work put it is not the end.
Hi @JadeyJade. I just have a friendly tip. If you want more people to read what you write then put spaces and breaks into your paragraphs. Break up your paragraphs. A solid “wall” of words will make a lot of people just skip posts without reading them because they are hard to read. I had to learn this myself.
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