Well forget NA meetings IMHO. Last couple I attended were like an excuse to hook up
Itās a sad State of Affairs. Some sites are better than others. I have heard that eHarmony is good, but Iāve never looked at it
I find it the same with women. There is a different Dynamic with dating now.
One of the big problems is that the anonymity of the net frees people up to act like the worst basest miserable scumbags they can be without the constraints of society. Itās f**ked up to know you can walk right by these āpeopleā on the street and not know what detestable moral wreckage they are.
I met a guy on an OA Zoom meeting, when we talked later (I was considering him as a sponsor), he was very flirtatious. I havenāt been back. Iād really like to go back, though, because I do overeat and I want to lose 20 pounds or so.
I just straight up put āasexualā on my Tinder
Do you still get hits? Do they misinterpret? I said to my therapist that I think I might be asexual. Well, when I got a new therapist and he was reading my notes he said āIt says here you are a sexual personā and I had to clarify with him that I might be asexual as opposed to a sexual person. Total opposites. So frustrating!
I hear you on that one.
I do still get a fair amount of swipes. I said āAsexual, looking for kisses, cuddles, and cute dates ā
Iāll grant you men are worse than women when it comes to this stuff, but in my experience some women can be pretty damn aggressive too. No gender is completely innocent. Most people are horny (although sex drives vary between people), that is just the way it is.
I put up a profile on a website for āPlatonic datingā and the men who have joined and messaged me think āplatonicā means sex with no strings so they arenāt shy about asking to hook-up! They think itās a hook -up site when it is actually a site that is supposed to be for people that want love without sexual obligation. Talk about another misunderstanding! I have not met any asexual love prospects on there.
Ewwww gross Iām sorry
I think the hardest thing for me is people who want a polyamorous relationship. I have no problem with folks who make that decision, but itās just not something that Iām interested in.
I think some people see asexual and assume that I mean aromantic as well, when I really really donāt
I have found that a lot of people donāt understand the terms associated with asexual (demisexual aromantic etc). I am a member of an asexual MeetUp group. They have digital meetings because of Covid. There are a couple āaromanticā men on there who want sex minus the romance. That term is also used to describe people who donāt want sex OR romance.
I used to be a member of ASVN back when that was a thing. I identified as asexual for a long time before coming out as a lesbian. Now I just say queer, because it saves time hahah
Itās the same with gay men. Iāve always had a low libido. It doesnāt mean Iām not romantic. I love to kiss, cuddleā¦But online, itās wham! Bam! Thank you maāam! Or nothing. I feel sad for them. I met a great man when I was 50, weāve been married almost 5 years. He gets me, I get him. But like you, what I never got, and didnāt give either, was being pushed for sex. One arsehole actually asked, āAnd if I came over and raped you?ā Then you should know I keep a baseball bat with nails in it, somewhere in the house. You wonāt need a hospital. And ended it, and had his profile flagged. Donāt mess with a Murphy, weāre unconventionally protected.
So you are actually an asexual lesbian? I messaged a few gay women on the platonic site ājust for friendship, because I am straightā and I havenāt gotten anything back:( I was hoping to make some asexual friends but I guess they are only open to romance. Asexuals make up a VERY small % of the population, especially men.
I identify as an asexual lesbian, yes. I have romantic feels for women, but no real sexual desire for anyone.
If Iām being honest I think I prefer friendship with straight women. A lot of the time the gay community can be really focused on hook ups and thatās just not something Iām interested in
I have had a few women (and couples) approach me and aggressively hit on me when I was in a public place. It was so assumptive and disrespectful. It really hurt my feelings and scarred me. Here I am talking with a friend about football or whatever and the next thing ya know some women has her hand on my back and her face is 2 inches from mine and she is cooāing at me how sexy I am.
Yeah. Scarred is the word. Perhaps motivated more by hatred than sexual arousal. Maybe both. Some people love having hate-sex. Iāll never know. Iām not a mind reader. I think I have a lower libido than most women. I have NEVER in my whole life looked at a beautiful person and gotten horny or wet and I have most certainly never approached them trying to hook-up. I donāt get it.
Literally same. I can appreciate when someone is attractive, but itās never in a sexual way. I donāt understand how some people can operate like that
Iām a really sexual person, and I do understand looking at someone and desiring them sexually. But that doesnāt mean I act on it disrespectfully, or that I donāt want a loving relationship. Itās hard for us, too.
Fair enough I suppose. I guess all sorts of relationship styles can be messy. Oh, the human experience. How I loathe thee