I would really like to meet someone

I’ve been looking at my options and i have been trying very hard to meet someone, i dont think i look too bad so i’m wondering whats stopping women from even just making friends, like i’d be happy with a friend,

I’ve been messaging women online in my area but its not working out, i have also signed up for an account on nolongerlonely but i dont think its very busy on there, i was on their chat client last night but no women, idk whats happened maybe its just a bad time for women now, i wish i knew why i was getting rejected all the time.

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Online dating is the worst. People just looking at your photo and deciding not to talk to you

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For me what stopped me with most guys on the dating sites is not trusting their motives, so you have to find away to get your message across. Communication is key.

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I’ve heard women talk about fakers a lot but i’m not a faker, its not a nice thing to say about someone who is genuine

what would you suggest?

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Be sweet and be genuine, and hope it comes through. There are a lot of fakers and it’s hard to spot real people with good motives. Also don’t be pushy, that’s scary.

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@Leaf is right. Be friendly but not pushy. Also, don’t bring up sex, sexual innuendos, or anything about her body. Lots of men on the sites are just looking for a hookup and women are trying to determine who’s really looking for a relationship and who’s not. How do you describe yourself to them?

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I agree with @ZmaGal @Leaf @Joker
And for me, I would think many guys are looking for a one night stand so maybe be honest about what your intentions are from the start ie. You are looking for a woman to spend time with and get to know, even as a friend. That’s not intimidating

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I thought i’d be honest and say i was serious about a relationship on my profile,

I sort of said how my friends think of me and then i talk about what i do on an average day and my pics are ok too.

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I’m on Match and it’s funny bc it’s a recent development for me too. I mentioned mental ill ess, I said i believe that men and women can be just friends, I’ve been mature about superficial choosiness, and even the girl I joined for I shared my blog with.

Which reminds me maybe include your writing and video talent.

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Try and be more “Desireless” lololol. And be excellent! You probably are at the videos and all you already do for Mental Illness.

(Being “Desireless”comes from watching “Tao of Steve” (2000)). A solid rental if you haven’t seen it.)

I talked tough on things but I’m a decent guy too… so maybe ttry the flick, I’m still glad the movie exists : ) )).

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That sounds good :+1:

man i dont like mentioning that esp not at the start bc i believe there is a lot more to me now than just mental illness, i am trying to put it behind me now. thats not being fake, thats moving on with my life.

i mentioned radio, bc that is the thing i like the best atm, i sometimes mention mental illness but i play it down, i say i had deression in the past which is true but i dont mention sz per se

thanks Quix i dont watch much tv or anything but i’ll look out for it.

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Yeah I’m trying online dating too. It’s intimidating and can be so sensitive for me. I don’t know how much I want to “advertise” myself and how much to pursue the matches that come up. It seems like a good opportunity to get used to rejection, I guess. There were a couple of guys that I was talking to the just stopped responding. And another guy I felt uncomfortable with so I stopped responding.

Thank you! Maybe I’ll take that part down… I was in such a rush to say positive things to people that I rushed through my profile and it’s lacking.

But I have a big “Flat Effect” and shame makes me blurt things prematurely too. I hate that split second when a female’s eyes glaze over or wince/cringe etc. when they initially sense you’re off.

It seems like online dating hasn’t worked for many people on the forum,

Or for you in the past.

Maybe you should tell your friends and clubhouse members that you’re looking and see if they know someone that might be good for you.

I met my husband via mutual friends,

I think it’s a reliable way to meet someone.

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I don’t think I’ll ever get over that

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That’s good. Maybe you could add you’re not looking to hook up

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Sort of a reaction here is to say you have to mentally embrace rejection somehow, it is or at least is supposed to be a numbers game with efforts. Celebrate your role in the chase, again talk tough out of me but maybe we can help each other.

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Maybe look at self talk and what you say into the universe too. Evehopeful has a smiling watch… and that’s neat. Maybe the frowning cat is causing subtle phenomena or less vague type b.s. in your path.

I hope I’m remembering your hobbies and pastimes correctly. You might mention that you enjoy doing volunteer work. Perhaps, you could mention that you enjoy working in the community garden. That might actually be a good icebreaker activity when the weather becomes warmer.

I agree with you that you not mention mental illness right out of the gate, but rather wait until you get to know someone a bit, whether a new friend or a potential partner.

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