Where the schizophrenic individual believes theres nothing wrong with them and that they are cheating the government to get disability. He said the sz individual hates them self for this and in extreme cases will refuse medication and cancel all benefits.
Do you have this symptom to some degree?
I feel this. I even posted anonymously on reddit a year and a half ago claiming i scammed the government so that I could get a sense of whether people thought it was a delusion or if they would tar and feather me so to speak.
I still worry about this. If im not schizophrenic, i really would prefer my pdoc and nurse and family would tell me point blank whats up. They insist im schizophrenic, and still I have my doubts.
I’ve had recurring thoughts that I’m not really ill . I reality test it by questions such as “Would they really have put you on a depot when you said you were not good at remembering to take oral meds if that was the case” , “Do pdocs dole out antipsychotics like candy?” In both cases the answer is no.
Yeah you’re spot on there. People that have fictitious disorder or something know without a doubt they are faking. I’m confused about it and have no real evidence to support the thought. And unless modern psychiatric treatment is to play along with fakers, then I wouldn’t be on three AP’s, including one of which being an injection that if i dont show up for will be taken to the hospital by a police officer. Even thinking that ethics (or lack if ethics) like that are a possibility is paranoid ideation. Idk, schizophrenia knows how to never let you feel calm when it wants that for you.
Get over one delusion, heres the replacement. On and on it goes, i best buckle in.
I’m struggling with believing I have sza too. I had a delusion of working for the government and that’s gone now. But that doesn’t mean I have sza
im experiencing that a bit right now, cant seem to work, major difficulty trying to study, overall just not functioning well and I expect more from myself cant get things working expect more from myself and so its just a continual cycle at moment. psychiatrist told me to apply for disability even if it is just temporary to help me get back on my feet.
Sometimes I think there is something physically wrong with me and that’s why I have supposed sz. I’ve had it for over 10yrs though so I should believe it by now. I also question why I got it when I was 16 and females don’t get it until they are in their late 20s early 30s. I feel like I got jipped
I go over it and over it all the time trying to figure out if I really need to be taking all this medicine. I think about voices I’ve heard and say well that could have been your imagination or you’re blowing it out of proportion. Or I talk to a neurotypical about voices and they say they have them too and I say, see there I am normal. Then I remember the running commentary I’ve had my whole life, that I know I didn’t imagine, or one of my old delusions will pop up and I say oh yea I guess I’ll take my meds. But I do spend a lot of time in denial. Who can blame us really, it’s a hard thing to accept,
I mean, I wouldn’t go as far as to say I hate myself, but yeah, I’ve had this issue. It’s not really guilt that I feel now, but anger. Why can’t I just cut the crap? Just stop. Stop pretending… but I can’t. And that? That makes me even angrier, because the answer to the question of why I would ruin my life for a lie is simple… I wouldn’t. So why would the big eye in the sky do this to us? To me? His “truest believer.” Faith in him through faith in humanity. But his love of us? It’s not the love of a parent to his children. No, it’s the love of a storyteller to his characters, because to HIM, that’s all we are. Characters in a never ending story. It’s not a test. It’s entertainment for the divine that rule us and the god who created us. Who would’ve ever guessed it? Motörhead was right. God was never on our side.
Oh thank god haha
I thought it was just me. I feel this way all the time.
So easy to forget it’s a serious disease. Feel a huge amount of guilt for not working and accepting ODSP.
Stopped meds several times to try to work stop being lazy and useless and always end up in hospital.
I still half doubt I’m actually sick. But i guess it’s obvious to everyone else.
I was told by people i was bipolar a few times even on reddit ppl mentioned i had bp symptoms like racing thoughts, inattention but i guess its possible im sza without voices.
I do feel alot of shame for this my mind keeps repeating awkward things ive said and i do feel shame for applying for welfare but thats mostly because the drug makes me subhuman