Past life trauma

Unusual Beliefs
1

Anyone else? I was told this is delusions, but i remember and relive the trauma. I got ptsd unrecognized. I get memories, fears, and flashbacks of being murdered constantly in my dreams or while awake in my past lives in different parallel universes according to mwt of quantum mechanics. But im stuck in a causal loop. I wake up in the matrix back in time with schizophrenia after 2011. Its been going on for eternity, hence the paranoia and deja vu. Im very old, pethaps immortal.

It sounds delusional, but i feel scared and feel and remember I was tortured and brutally killed multiple times in my past lives.

Nothing helps except cogentin or another ap on top of vraylar perhaps caplyta. Clozaril doesn’t work for me. Already tried it. I hate it. I can’t go to the hospital obviously and I dont need to. I hate it there. Plus, I was kidnapped. My family was murdered too in past lives.

I may not be fully human. I might be a humanoid alien i guess.

I think patients mainly at the mental hospital targeted me and monarch people. Like illuminati, government, banks, Hollywood, actresses, actors, directors, and military. Like the worst was satanic and snuff films of me. I died a miserable death many times.

I know I shouldn’t post this crap but it was real for me. I think aliens were involved too.

I’m scared I guess but believe i can heal and stuff by talking about what happened and eventually move on.

Never knew why. I always thought it was my john titor delusion. Then q delusion. Now, satoshi nakamoto delusion. Dont know what else caused this except some random crime targeting me. Like a hate crime or false accusations. I thought i was raped in college and had a kid, but no evidence. Just a hunch. No proof. I guess that part is my imagination–the offspring part…i hope…i found out in a past life or parallel universe, which is feeding this falsehood.

Imagine dying and coming back alive. Imagine the horror never ending. Thats my ■■■■■■■ life.

No one believes me or can help me. You can’t police or charge people of crimes that don’t exist in this reality or universe.

Thoughts?

Again, my biggest hope is escaping this causal loop, curing my illness, and exiting the matrix.

Thank you!

2

You should write a book with all your delusions

3 Likes
3

You need to stop watching triggering shows and looking up online conspiracy theories.

They’re feeding your delusions.

Medicine can only do so much,

You have to put in work too.

4 Likes
4

I guess. No one believes me. Its outlandish I know.

But the fear is there.

Even felt like the real jason bourne, but that was before my time and not me. Its fake. Obviously.

I just know a lot of super soldiers feel like that.

I’m scared.

5

Were you reading conspiracy theories before your schizophrenia symptoms appeared?

1 Like
6

I watch a lot, but i dont know. Not before the schizophrenia 10 years ago…

1 Like
7

I agree and have experienced pretty much everything you just wrote.

The problem I had was that I tried to convince other people and doctors of this, but I just ended up getting into trouble, and have pills given to me until I shut up

Now I realise that other people are just not interested in this kind of thing.

What ■■■■■ me off the most is that other people can practise religion etc and get left alone.

You tell someone something unique and original, you are Schizophrenic

1 Like
8

No one believes you because these are all borrowed theories.

Also because they are extremely unlikely,

But for me, it’s because you got the idea from somewhere else.

Does that make sense to you?

1 Like
9

Thank you! That helped a lot. Im not alone.

I dont think i stole other people’s ideas, but it probably looks like that.

10

You didn’t steal anyones ideas.

All that has happened is that you have had an experience that many before you have had in the past.

This is the problem. It’s so obvious to us, but we get ‘treated’ for an illness instead of being taken seriously.

Don’t put it down to plagiarism when this has happened organically

1 Like
11

What do you mean you came up with these ideas yourself?

You’ve referenced The Matrix, Westworld, Lost, now the John Titor conspiracy.

And many, many others.

Not manufactured by your mind, absorbed from others.

If you abstained from these triggers,

I believe you’d get better.

1 Like
12

Im sorry you’ve experienced this fear and trauma. Even though on the outside looking in it sounds like a delusion, feeling these experiences as real must be incredibly hard and painful.

I know you feel that these things have happened, and I want to validate and acknowledge your pain because it feels real to you and that is worthy of being validated.

With that being said, would you be willing to try moving forward with treatment with at least considering the idea that these are delusions? It could go a long way in relieving the torture you are experiencing.

1 Like
13

I believe some of it. Some of it was fantasy or not taken literally like william and serac from westworld. Just the suffering and philosophy and resonating.

I saw news pop up on my phone saying there was an accident with westworld actor serac, but couldn’t find it. It happened at a coffee shop like what happened to me almost. Furthermore, i believe I ran some aspects of the sim, which is hard to believe, i admit.

With lost, that was part fantasy. I heard some say it was about montauj project, which i believe. I even believed I had a role in creating the show, which even for me I have doubts because its so great and popular.

I dont expect you to believe me. Nothing I will say will change that. I dont want to argue.

With q, titor, and satoshi they are a mystery. No one knows who they are. My guess is quantum computers, time travel, parallel universes, and aliens…but thats just me.

I even believe I met pkd and real nazis. I believe i was in the Illuminati in a past life pulling the strings in entertainment and other things, which i dont want to talk about right now.

I am disabled with schizophrenia but the trauma was real and I dont want to be targeted again.

I believe we live in the matrix because I’ve seen it and escaped.

I believe some TV shows are part of soft disclosure.

I left Illuminati because I was forced to, lucky, found Jesus, and realized Satan runs it.

I dont know what else to say. I believe we live in a computer program. A lot of stories about that like inception. Even tenet I believe has some truth to it.

1 Like
14

I don’t want to argue with you either, man.

Wasn’t trying to.

I just want to help and feel like you’re not helping yourself with this stuff.

1 Like
15

This topic was automatically closed 7 days after the last reply. New replies are no longer allowed.