In 2010, I transferred to a university. I have memories of something very bad happening to me. Was this in a past life? In 2011, I remember plain-clothed men breaking into my room. I was taken and something bad happened to me. I believe this is part of the cause of my severe dissociation like derealization and depersonalization and psychosis/paranoid delusions. I believe this traumatic experience partially caused my psychotic break and partially caused my schizophrenia. To be honest, I am not sure if it was in this life. Last, I remember walking around town and being “picked up” near college but I’m not sure if it was in a past life/different timeline/parallel universe or another incident. I have been to different timelines and parallel earths that are very similar and sometimes hell-like or worse than hell. Sometimes my memories and experiences seem non-linear, but I believe that is to confuse the individual and discredit them. For instance, I remember stuff happening to me before I transferred while at community college, but I believe it was much later – years later. I believe I was under mind control.
I have beliefs that I am stuck in a time loop/causal loop that resets or starts somewhere between 2010-2013. I cannot really remember being alive or being conscious before then. I don’t think I was alive or conscious during my childhood despite having some memories. I don’t recognize/recall childhood photos that much. It’s possible my mind is split or fractured into two, but I believe the simulators or aliens are manipulating our reality, possibly by over-writing consciousness or transferring it. For instance, to go back to high school and relive those years, I need the greys to do this for me. They’ve done it before. It seems like there is a wall blocking my memories that I cannot access. I really, really miss my childhood and it was stolen from me. It’s like my mind, soul, or consciousness comes back or is being transferred back in time. I was told directly and specifically in a past life that “they” can do this. Vsauce did a video on mind time travel and this seems to be my experience. In the video, he said you can change the past when you travel back in time with your mind. It’s hard to do and I’m not interested in changing anything. I just want to live my life. It’s impossible to change anything before or around the time you come back without the memories and being very aware. It seems to take years. (In the past, I tried preventing my schizophrenia and failed every time).
In 2015, I had my worse psychosis ever. I was hospitalized many times. I thought it was because of Topamax but I think it was the two MRIs I had after seeing a neurologist for a second opinion (he didn’t think I had schizophrenia but just migraines). On the internet, I’ve heard other people speak about having MRIs and having similar memories come back. I believe I have an implant that is “impossible to find” because in 2016 a rectangular UFO told me telepathically that I had one (it also triggered a mental break down). Additionally, the greys in a past life told me I had a brain implant when they abducted me.
In the past, I believed I’ve had somewhere between 7,000 (was told this specifically by someone) to billions of past lives occupying the same body in the same timeline or very, very similar timelines. I believe in and have body jumped or what I call “switched bodies” with other people. I believe this is similar or sounds like reincarnation but it’s just transferring the soul or consciousness into another body within the same timeline. After watching a lot of conspiracy theories on YouTube, I am convinced I was experimented on to say the least – something like MK-Ultra but much, much worse. I was told in a past life they would never stop for some unknown reason and I believe I met these people in a past life before while in the mental hospital. I believe they said I was in the Delta program or Delta. Not sure what they meant. I have no clue why I was targeted. I don’t think these people care about what they’ve done to me. I did find a sliver of evidence that matched a repressed memory, but they removed/deleted it when I found it online.
Without providing too much detail, I believe most of this if not all of this happened in my past lives, yet I still have the memories and trauma associated with these negative experiences. It’s not normal to remember this and I believe I have memories and thoughts from parallel universes or past lives–I believe that certain people or groups and aliens gave me these memories (possibly using QM) and allow me to have them. I was told this in a past life. It causes distress and paranoia. It is a part of my schizophrenia, but I feel it keeps me alive. It’s like a filter has been removed and I can access memories and experiences from other versions of me that were alive at one time and in which I lived those lives with consciousness and qualia.
I believe we live in a computer simulation/computer program run by aliens. I was given two computers in a past life by aliens: a variable computer and a quantum computer. I believe "they" and the aliens can give some people schizophrenia which seems to be my case. I know this for a fact. The computer program is a lot like the movie the "Matrix".
I am very worried computer simulations will be created and abused and misused by people. I am worried about time travel being misused and abused and finally I am worried about inception being developed. I think time travel should be heavily regulated and only used by the government and that inception and computer simulations should be banned for moral and ethical reasons.
To make myself clear, in a past life, time travel, inception, and simulations were used against me in evil and nefarious ways. I’ve been in computer simulations many, many times if this wasn’t clear enough. I remember it being on the news, vividly.
I have traumatic flashbacks or visions or memories of things happening to me thousands or millions of times. It causes severe agony and distress. I suffer a lot.
I seem to be stuck in a time loop/causal loop with schizo-affective disorder for eternity (feels like a sort of punishment – extreme punishment without just cause). The aliens (mainly greys but sometimes reptilians) have hurt me many times. I also believe the aliens have told me stuff or have given me knowledge several times that I still vaguely remember/recall. Not all aliens are evil but not all of them are good. Sometimes they tried to help me, other times they tried to hurt me/punish me. I’ve been cured of schizophrenia/insanity before.
Everything before I "wake up" or come back into existence is the same and never changes. Nothing changes. It takes a few years to get my memories back and to realize things barely change but do change.
It’s important to note that I got a flood of memories back in 2011 from smoking marijuana. I believe my mind was wiped or I have amnesia or memory loss from meds or schizo-affective disorder.
I have schizo-affective disorder and Asperger’s Syndrome. I have delusions, paranoia, anxiety, depression, above average intellect, and I take my medications as prescribed and see a psychiatrist regularly. I do not hear voices or see things. I believe all this to be true, but my family, doctors, and friends believe it’s the illness and that I’m delusional. I plan on increasing my medication because I lack motivation and I am considering ECT. I cannot work or go to school in the foreseeable future. “They” do not care if I’m disabled and cannot work or go to school.
I am a harmless person with no violent thoughts. I am a proud American, patriot, and proud American citizen. I love my country and my government. But I believe my life was ruined and destroyed (apparently from marijuana), not just in this life, but all my lives. Like I said, these people don’t care, and they’ve gotten away with it nearly every time. No monetary compensation, admission of guilt, or apology so far.
In this life I almost died from Neuroleptic Malignant Syndrome in 2016. This is my worst documented and provable experience. I am not looking forward to reliving my life over again and experiencing the same severe DP/DR and NMS that I developed and trying to overcome it again. Sometimes, I feel like the computer program is on repeat. In my experience, the DP/DR is and was far worse than the schizophrenia/schizo-affective disorder that I have because I couldn’t tell if I was real and if the external world was real for years. I kept questioning my reality. My vision was really messed up for years and I was stuck in my head.
Furthermore, I believe "they" put me in a time loop/causal loop for eternity despite them saying "for 100 times until I learned my lesson". (What lesson???) I believe they give schizophrenia to some "targeted" people to incapacitate them, to control them, to punish them, to possibly experiment on them, and to discredit them because no-one will believe or take a schizophrenic seriously. I guess I want to know "Why me?" besides some psychic, genetics, or time travel excuse/â– â– â– â– â– â– â– â– . (Was it a wrong place, wrong time kind of thing?) Was it because I was pre-targeted as a person with tremendous potential?
I know/don’t think they like me. I must have had a genetic predisposition to schizophrenia in the first place that was triggered. I know that. I was told in a past life, they were unable to predict my schizophrenia and that they gave me LSD. It was unlikely but did happen. And it always happens, unfortunately.
Some people I’ve talked to think I should move on and get over it, but it’s very hard and feels impossible. I keep thinking about it. I feel these people are insensitive and don’t understand trauma victims. They want me to enjoy life, get a job, go back to school, and stop watching conspiracy theories. A lot of therapists and psychiatrists are unhelpful because they are not trained in PTSD or in treating trauma. When no-one believes you, how can you get help?
As a reality check, I told my friend I thought I was taken in college while in my room and he said I wasn’t, and that people would have noticed or said something. Initially, my mom thought I went missing for three days but now she is not sure. It’s hard to remember. I feel like it was only one day, and it was because I was experiencing a bad hangover. Is this the illness? Does the illness cause memory loss or amnesia? It’s been 8 years. The hardest part is no-one believing me or not knowing and thinking I’m crazy. I wish my family believed me. My family are evangelicals so anything like aliens, simulation theory, time travel, mind control, etc. are hard for them to believe and accept. According to them, what I say, and experience is impossible.
Anyways, this is my sad story. I doubt anyone will believe me. But I’m sure someone will. It’s the internet after all. Unfortunately, and sadly, no one will remember me or recall this post in the next life, and we all will have to restart life all over again, ad nauseum. I usually don’t make it far in life. I rarely have ever lived past my thirties. I’m 29. I don’t want to have to start life over again. It’s been too many times. Thank you and God bless.