Partial hospitalization hasnt helped

Well I shouldn’t say hasnt helped, the DBT part has helped. Group therapy has just made me feel so much worse.

Today I talked about my anxiety about going back to work and how I wanted to self harm yesterday (I didn’t), and no one offered any insight, sympathy, or anything. This happened on friday too. Someone else brought up similar issues and they received all the support in the world.

I feel like a complete outcast in this world. Even on this site I feel like a complete outcast. I dont belong or fit in anywhere. I always try to be helpful and offer advice when its asked of me, I always try to be there for other people. Why is it so much to ask for the same consideration?

I’m really struggling to find my self-worth here, but I cant see it. I’ve been fighting anxiety and depression for so long I’m just tired. Partial was a last ditch effort before applying for disability. I’m just devastated that I feel worse now than I did before I started partial hospitalization.

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I’m sorry and I feel kinda the same way. I have no one that fully understands and I feel like I’m an outcast too but I’ve been to like three group therapy but I’m starting to feel the same way.

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I felt like a outcast in the past, too

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Things will get better. If you are suicidal call 911 or go to an ER. That outpatient clinic you are using sucks. Hopefully you don’t go back there.

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My main treatment team is great, I love my pdoc at least. It’s this partial hospitalization at the U of M that is terrible. They had some vegan lady in lecturing on how terrible it is to eat meat and kill animals.

How the eff does that better my treatment? By trying to make me feel like an a-hole for eating meat?

I’m not suicidal, I just have a really strong passive death wish. Suicide isnt an option for me unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, I havent decided how I feel about that.

I’m sorry pedro, it stinks feeling this way.

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@Squanchy I’m sorry your partial hospitalization hasn’t helped you. But I think you do fit in here, I’ve always thought you were very helpful and supportive here. I like reading your posts. :slight_smile:

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Maybe group just isnt for everybody. Dbt has been great and useful. It’s just that I paid out of pocket for 5 days, which was about $2500 US dollars, and I’ve only had 5 one hour sessions. That’s a lot of money for 5 useful hours when in there for 7 hours a day.

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Thanks @Shmookitty.

Do you live in Ann Arbor?? That would be great!!! I live in Ypsilanti.

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I live close to Ann Arbor. I wish I had gone to Saint Joseph’s partial hospitalization program. It was more expensive but I know two people who went through them and they said it really helped them a lot.

U of M psychiatric care is on my crap list.

■■■■ I feel so ■■■■■■■ hopeless. Like what do I do next?

See what I mean? 47 views, 5 responses from people who arent me. Am I that bad of a person?

I dont belong anywhere. I feel so alone.

Tomorrow’s my last day at partial, Im going to ask about ECT. I can’t go on like this but my meds arent doing ■■■■. I dont care if I lose memories 75% of them are crap anyways.

EDIT: Trigger warning ahead

I want to drink and slash up my face like the last time, when I promised myself I wouldn’t do that again. The only reason I’m not isnt because of self love, it’s because my word is all that I have and a promise is a promise. Damn, how good it would feel though.

I havent felt this bad in a very very long time.

I’m drowning and no one is throwing me a life vest. I’ve been swimming in this sea of crap for 15 years. I know I can’t depend on other people, today made that apparent. Why am I not worthy of support?

Bless my parents, they try their best. They ask me how they can help me and I dont know how to answer them. I feel so guilty for breaking their hearts with my problems. I’m a financial burden too.

My sisters have stopped believing in me. They are convinced they will he supporting me when my mom and dad pass on.

get help ASAP, go to your nearest ER. You’ll be thanking yourself that you did when things are said and done. Right now your in a crisis

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I’ve been on the “outside looking in” my whole life. The weird thing is that I’ve still done a lot of normal, fun things. But yeah, in hospitals I pretty much kept to myself and was always surprised when occasionally someone would like me and take an interest in me. I hate most groups but didn’t have much choice about having to be in them.

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I’m sorry you’ve been feeling this way @Squanchy. I have had similar experiences. I work as a nurse, so all my working time is spent offering advice, providing empathy, supporting those in times of crisis…however, when I’M the one in crisis, it seems as though the majority of people can’t be bothered to offer the same considerations back to me. I also feel like a bit of an outcast on this forum.

I think, for the moment anyway, you need to give yourself some empathy. Hold off on dealing with other people for a while until you can get yourself straightened up. If you need, go to the hospital or seek emotional support from a hotline or one of your treating team if possible. Hold on, things can get better, it can just be so difficult to see that when you’re feeling down and out. Continue talking to us here. We’ll listen. Good luck, and hope you feel better soon.

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Thanks, they talked me off the edge at group today. I’m feeling better. Still isolated and unwanted, but better.

I tried partial hospitalization too and it didn’t really help. I found better help at the university, in a group called EPICENTER (Early Psychosis Intervention Center). I would still go, but it’s hard for me to drive all the way up downtown and back during rush hour.

Anyways, I’m sorry you’re not feeling well. Just know you’re not the only one, and people on this board can empathize with you.

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Hope u feel better will pray for u

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I’m sorry you’re having such a rough time right now. Things will get better. Hang on. I hope you can get better help / the help that you need. Look for other therapy groups if you can.

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