just wondering how many people still have doubts about this illness. personally no matter how often I hear all the catch phrases, a large part of me doubts theres anything wrong with me at all. I only take medication because I know its worse when I’m off the stupid pills. but I can’t get over the feeling that I’m missing something important. a clue. something which would put the whole thing into perspective. would you not agree that what we go through is akin to common torture methods. I hear the americans have been doing something similar to prisoners for a long time. forcing them to listen to childrens music or other noises, depriving them of sleep etc. I just can’t believe theres anything wrong with me. I hear voices in my head? really how does that make any sense at all. if it was noises like alarm bells or cats meowing or dogs barking I might believe that it was an auditory hallucination, but no! its just people talking, whats worse is these auditory hallucinations as they like to be called never say anything good, they only exist to torment me, so lets do away with this ■■■■■■■ farce once and for all and call schizophrenia what it is, some kind of torture. If it was an actual auditory hallucination you would be hearing different noises not just people insulting you. I’m ■■■■■■■ sick of being called names and having disgusting crap made up about me, the voices are nasty little ■■■■■■■, and if I ever find out who is behind this ■■■■■■■■, I’m gonna strap them to a chair and force them to listen to surfacing by slipknot on repeat for five years before I kill them. All they do is bloody lie about us, make up crap. sure we all got suckered at the start, we believed the lies they fooled us into believing their made up stories and ■■■■■■■■, but we’re smarter now, now we know that there is something very wrong going on, we are being persecuted for no reason at all, dragged into something we never wanted to be a part of, not just me but you as well. all of us have had our lives ruined by this so-called illness. I’ve read the conspiracy theories, and I’m not sure what to think, voice to skull? all that kind of stuff. its like the whole world is watching us on tv laughing at us for being scared and paranoid. ■■■■ them! we’re better than them, they’re just too ■■■■■■■ stupid to know it. we’re smarter. the voices in my head are really ■■■■■■■ stupid, they make up stupid stories and try and make me take part in their sick and twisted games, some of the stuff I’ve heard them say you would not believe, I’m sick alright but only because I’ve had to listen to them for years on end. you wanna know something. I’m ■■■■■■■ normal. I’m totally normal, there’s nothing wrong with me, the only thing wrong with me, is that I can hear voices in my head, I’m rational, calm and collected, I’m not paranoid anymore and you wanna know why, because I’m not afraid of them anymore, they keep going on about god and the devil and hell and all that junk, I’m not religious I don’t care about any of that crap, all I want is for them to leave me alone. and if this is some kind of conspiracy, then whoever is perpetrating it is a living dead man, and if your reading this mr dead man, I hope you know that I’m gonna ■■■■■■■ kill you.
I wish I was (out of my mind).
Then I wouldn’t get the beatings,
the orders and verbal abuse and slanderazation,
they rape by other men being duped into thinking they’re true heroic men.
That’s just a tidbit of my illness and battle every day.
And when you deal with military, you deal with them in hallucinations out of it and not working for them or not.
I’m tired. I’m not going to hurt anyone, I don’t have that energy to fight anymore after over a decade of abuse like this.
So you have to wonder where the energy is, go for a walk, and maybe get a tall boy at the gas station with a grocery list for your meal…and just think.
They’re just voices,
Don’t think they’re truly real how much they hurt you or not.
Don’t ever give a voice that respect. They’re nothing.
And most of the time they’re garbage.
I agree with your last statement, they are definatley garbage, but seriously, if they were actual hallucinations how come I don’t hear any other noises, I don’t hear cars driving down the road I don’t hear dogs barking or alarm bells going off I don’t hear church bells, all I hear is their bloody voices. not only that but if for some reason all an auditory hallucination is is a voice, why is it so insulting? hmmm? why is it always insulting me? taking the piss out of me? calling me names? making up lies about me? maybe its trying to lower my self confidence? Why though? what is the purpose?
Out of my mind,
Be back soon.
lucky you csummers
It’s your first grade test if you have any constitution of your heart and mental toughness.
Really.
(8 to go)
Well he’s a growing guy, right?!
what? wtf are you talking about? first grade test? I’ve been through ■■■■■■■ hell, this is not a test. and the more I think about it, the less I think it’s an illness. something is going on. you know it, I know it, we all know it, but none of us know what it is that’s going on.
I used to feel that way, but then I realized that I was so miserable and my life sucked so badly that there was really no point in fighting to defend it. I made a commitment to do everything I was asked to in terms of treatment, therapy, you name it.
And it worked.
I won’t pretend everything is perfect, but I’ve got it pretty good now. My symptoms are either gone or kept to a dull roar on most days. I’ve enjoyed all kinds of personal and professional successes that I was told were beyond me, too. None if this would have happened if I had kept fighting to hold onto my illness. The meds aren’t wonderful, but I can live with them.
Time to let it your illness go, be free, and most importantly, be YOU again. 
10-96
I completely agree with you. There is more to this than just being an illness.
daimon, what makes you think theres something more to this? I’m sure everyone has heard all those voice to skull rumours, anyone think that might be a factor. also as far as I know schizo’s even the ones that weren’t raised Christian/jewish/Islamic hear voices about god and the devil, I find that very strange, religious conspiracy lmao…
There is way more to it than it just being an illness.
They can completely ■■■■ with a person’s head in many ways.
The sad sad part is if they do they don’t need to tell you and you will never know probably.
Me, they keep doing all of these things and showing me what they can do. Adds to it you know, lots of confusion in there. You’ll have some of us entirely sure they are sick, some will say and do this while others will say and do that, total and complete confusion on the matter.
I wonder though, was i actually horrendously shocked that night or was the mind screwed with in such a way where it was only in there. Either way it was real and really hurt alot, but i wonder which it was.
Like if we touch a stove the info is in the mind. so in theory you could induce that feeling in there if you have the means, no one would know the difference and it would actually harm you although nothing would be showing on your fingers.
All that i know is i was horredously shocked while a fanged grinning dude appeared, he was made of light.
man I don’t really see things when I’m on meds, but last Christmas I started seeing all these faces everywhere, in patterns like woodgrain on my chest of drawers or in the curtains, it totally freaked me out, wonder what they are, saw some pretty evil looking faces looking at me, there is definatley more than just what they feed us, theres got to be. also last summer I would get these really hot sensations like my blood was really hot couldn’t stand it, most of the time I’m freezing even on a hot day but then these hot sensations too, really weird.
The faces are a part of the created structure of this place. I have no ■■■■■■■ idea why someone would do that at all.
I think they’re crazy actually, who else would have done this?
evil sick ■■■■■■■, but they’ll get whats coming to them eventually, “what goes around comes around”