Here’s something that interests me. Delusions often contradict fairly basic facts about the world, that we would all acknowledge to be the case when we’re doing well. What interests me, is what happens to this knowledge/these facts when we’re not doing well? Do we simply (temporarily) forget all that fairly basic knowledge, do we not reflect on our delusion and hence fail to see the contradiction with these facts that we also acknowledge, do we reject these facts in favour of our delusion, or perhaps even something else?
For me personally it was a bit of the latter two of these… I certainly reflected on my delusions (a LOT), they didn’t go unnoticed. I was also aware that they were at odds with common knowledge. In fact, this played a major role in me keeping them to myself and being careful to act on them - I was convinced of their truth but was well aware that ‘the world wasn’t ready for it’ (I hate that phrase now, my hallucinations would use it a lot). At times, when noticing these contradictions, I would happily give up those commenly accepted facts. But perhaps more often, I would think these facts were more or less fine, but just didn’t pertain to me. I think this is slightly different from not seeing the contradiction, for I’d be aware that others would take these as contradicting each other.
Instead, I have also read occasionally on the forum people speaking of their delusions being not so much ideas about shared reality, but pertaining more to a parallel world that had opened up. Perhaps that expression doesn’t make much sense to some of us, but the expression seems quite apt to my experience of delusions. The parallel world being one in which they were true to me only. I wonder how others related their delusions to the facts that contradict them, if it all.
I either sort of skip past the incongruities or my mind creates excuses for them (rather akin to the Heisenberg Compensators in Star Trek transpo tech).
Edit: I also like to remind myself that the (alien) tech looks implausible and magic-like to me because I come from a lower technology level, but I’m certain that all would be explicable if my base knowledge were expanded just enough. Basically, I do the same thing that religious folk do, but from an X-Files perspective. Which is why I laugh my arse off whenever someone churchy tells me I need to have ‘faith’. I have APs instead, thanks.
Me too.
For the longest time I “faked it 'till I make it”, my pdoc and family thought I was doing better than I actually was.
I questioned my delusions a lot, more in a sense of “can I really trust my mind?”, because if I were to question the essence of my delusions I would eventually believe in them again. That was the lesson I, personally, learned.
Don’t know how it works for others though, but once I got a bit better, with a help of @Rhubot and @Azley, I was able to make that question “can I really trust myself?” and the thoughts about being god and all the experiences I went through, kinda went to the Unusual Beliefs pile for a while, than slowly began dissipating.
The major problem was, in fact, thinking obsessively about my experiences. If I lived it, it was real. And, in a way, it was real for me, even if not real for the consensual reality. I had perfect understanding, throughout my psychotic break, that people thought I was nuts, and that my thoughts and words were those of a deluded person. Didn’t really stop me from believing in them, there was a moment there when I actually thought that insanity didn’t really exist, and that it was all “normal” and “common” (I think it is common to have these thoughts, from what I see here on the forum.).
Anyway, thinking about my delusions now, I can make all sort of correlations between low self esteem, low confidence, and other psychological issues I’m dealing with in therapy.
I used something like that as well as a coping mechanism when what I called the ‘truth-game’ was causing me much distress - that process of finding out the truth of the matter by means of proof and justification.
One can also look at thoughts or beliefs from the perspective of how they arise instead of how they are justified. Like you say, because of some psychological state you may get certain ideas etc. That does not make them false necessarily, nor true. Such a way of looking at things did help me a great deal to escape from the endless checking.
This is a very interesting perspective, I agree. I often look at what triggers them and what makes them thrive. Can be as simple as a sentence someone says, or even a word, or much more likely, some other thought.
I came to a conclusion that my brain is wired to a specific set of rational thought processes. Some thought paths take me to other thoughts, and I can identify them, recognize them and change those patterns. It’s very interesting and actually fun, makes me think I have a lot more control over my deluded mind
The first time I heard the god voice I was told that I wasn’t allowed to tell anyone what I was being told for 2 weeks. And that people could even be hurt if I did or something like that.
My hallucinations generally surrounded by secrecy.
I couldn’t contain myself though. Secrets are not my strong suit
This is one of the toughest for me, particularly now that I’m in remission. I would consider many things now not delusions so much but potential theories. Thought is hard. It’s too expansive to be comfortable so often. Many delusions are really these huge existential issues that can be broken apart and theorized but never answered. My only real solution has always been distraction. I acknowledge and accept the thoughts are still real and still possible things but know that if I give in and ruminate that’s all I will have. If I have other things occupying me I do my best to push the thoughts aside or use them in artistic work. I also do some studying on different topics and the many worlds interpretation would be most relevant to this. It’s not a matter of killing the thoughts but accepting them as one piece in the fabric of who you are and making sure they know their place and they can’t take over everything. Sometimes I visit them more and sometimes hardly at all. Our interpretation of our world is key to who we are as individuals so don’t let everything go forever but know what it is and how much of yourself you can dedicate to it.
As far as I’m concerned delusions don’t work as a daydreaming: you cannot just say “I’m going to take some time enjoying my delusions”…it takes over your life and eventually you become dysfunctional.
Nobody with a belief that he is a god could keep doing the job or take the garbage outside or clean the house i guess…because, God.
We do agree. You take pride in what most of us fight to overcome, you’re the antithesis of recovery.
You often forget that this is a recovery oriented website, and you turn every thread you walk through, into one franticly annoying unusual beliefs thread. You seem to have only two objectives here, feed delusions and feed off delusions.
I’m sure not much people are ‘lucky’ as you are though. “Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.” - Albert Camus
