I wonder how many of those who post their so called delusions are actually delusional and how many are just bored and playing make believe. Most real-life schizophrenics that I’ve met don’t brag about their weird beliefs or even call them delusions.
I can talk about my beliefs here because I know ppl here understand. Or even go through the same think. Like we see through a window that is a wall to the normal ppl.
But I can’t seem to talk about the things I post here or think about with my pdoc or even tdoc (whom I’m closer to).
Delusional is just a word. Some ppl think this isn’t real. They don’t ‘see’ it. I’ve learned delusional is the term for things that I think that other ‘normal ppl’ don’t.
I realize delusions were delusions after a while when I have made a reality check. But while delusional…i don’t believe I am.
Sometimes I identify delusions by logic. Like if I believe someone wants to kill me. I think about all the reasons they would and would not do it. Hopefully I realize it’s just my mind playing games.
Rest assured mal, they are with me to this day and offering suicide as a way out of their torment. They showed up right around halloween fourteen years ago.
Crossing the street goes like this: “You might get mangled doing this, your skull will be split and you’ll suffer to death gargling while people watch with morbid fascination at your painful death.” And “Look up, look up right now, you know we’re there, there are others moving about the galaxies right now.”
I woke up this morning and realized instantly about the africans and their pain and that it could easily happen to me any damn day. It’s sickening, there is no solid ground in the least, it all just gets ripped out from underneath you and no one cares.
I get hurt sometimes to, i got shocked while a face made of light appeared, i got burned to and another face made of light appeared, and i laughed at the orgies on eyes wide shut and they bent my spine backwards when i did.
Im not crazy, im just being tortured really. But im not bragging.
whatever keeps the board flowing. For sz an idea often become delusion…
I post when I’m bored. I aim to have substance.
Seriously though some people need help.
I recognize my delusions by context. They typically do not show up as a rigid ordinary belief with everything else staying normal. Instead, everything has changed when I’m delusional, and I recognize very well that something special is going on. It feels like the whole world has become magical or unreal in some sense. By this I can infer that a new belief that occupies my mind and has arisen together with this magical world is a delusion. It is not the case that once I recognize it as a delusion, I pierce through it and take away its power. For the world is still changed and forces this delusion upon me. To pierce through it, I have to reconceive my whole world, my motives etc. and this is barely possible. This is why I don’t buy the poor reality testing model of delusions, there is so much more going on than a simple mistake resulting in a false belief. It is also why the simple single-sentenced descriptions of the content of a delusion don’t quite settle the experience. A delusion comes with a whole context of its own, unlike an ordinary false belief.
You hit the hammer on the nail @Malvok I don’t like the idea that someone can just say “I’m schizophrenic, so listen to what I say”. I see through the ones who just like to talk about their delusions all the time.
Many times, when you are truly delusional, you have no insight into it - When I was delusional for years, because I was not on an antipsycotic - i did not know that I was delusional, and I certainly did not talk about it.
I just behaved erratically.
I do believe that there is a difference between being truly delusional and having odd or strange beliefs - Many people that talk about delusions are actually just talking about their imaginings - beliefs - big difference
True, when I was delusional in the past , several times I had no idea I was off my rocker I had 0 insight. It’s a strange feeling to emerge from that and be like ‘how in the hell did I ever fall for that’
I’m boooooooored… But I like it. I’m also broke so I can’t brag about anything.
If your bored you should play with some Legos or go ride a bike lol
I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone on here brag about their weird beliefs…I’m not sure what you’re talking about…
You’re sort of suggesting a sticky thing to begin with. How do you classify what a true delusion is and what isn’t? What would give you the right to decide that? Everyone’s are different. I sort of get what you’re saying but at the same time what you’re saying sounds a lot like someone who doesn’t understand mental illness would say “oh stop playing make believe and get over it.” I know you aren’t trying to mean it like that though.
When I first became self-aware of the psychosis I tried to tell myself it was all just make believe and that I was going to grow up and stop it…when I realized I didn’t have control over any of it…lets just say things got worse before they got better.
I talk about what I’m experiencing as though I am in a trance, and I don’t know what I am doing. I’m sorry, Mal, but some of us do that, no offense to anyone meant here.
@pansdisease you should probably get looked at. I’ve noticed some of your posts are getting too erratic for you to be okay. So please ease my mind? I truly worry about you, so please do not take offense to this…
Also wanted to add on to my last post (but it didn’t let me) that just because the individuals you’ve met didn’t feel comfortable sharing their delusions does not mean everyone is the same way. Especially if you met those people in real life, talking about delusions might be a lot more awkward, I know it is for me. Heck with my therapist I think I gave like the barest summaries of my delusions ever because they’re mad embarassing. But online it’s not as embarassing and you don’t care as much what strangers think so sometimes it feels good to be able to share and let out all the garbage in your head from time to time.
I think it’s a lot of boredom and fantastical ideas being played out for amusement. There is a lot of bragging and one-upping done here. Almost every truly delusional people I’ve met have no idea they’re delusional. They’re encapsulated by it.
Again, everyone is different and everyone’s levels of self-awareness are different.
On the lower end of the spectrum, you get individuals with little to no self-awareness, the kind of people who are so gone that you probably wouldn’t even find them on this forum because they don’t believe they are ill. These are the kinds of folks you would meet if you had a stay at a psych ward.
On the higher end of the spectrum are individuals who have gained some level of self-awareness, whether through therapy, over time, maybe their strain of the illness wasn’t as bad, who knows. Obviously everyone on this forum has a level of self-awareness where they know they have a mental illness.
My own self-awareness has changed over time from being completely consumed by delusions, to now still frequently getting delusional thoughts but being able to perform reality checks.
Even for those of us who are blessed with the ability to do this, it is not always easy to curb beliefs. For example, Solt deals with delusions of telepathy (sorry to use you as an example, hope ya don’t mind!) He is at a high enough level of awareness that he KNOWS those thoughts he are receiving are irrational, yet deep down still can’t shake this feeling that those thoughts are true.
Just because there are many who exist on the lower end of the self-awareness spectrum when it comes to delusions does not mean the other end does not exist, and having awareness of a delusion does not mean that you no longer struggle with overcoming it, and it also does not invalidate your experience. Schizophrenia is one of those complex diseases that no one experiences in quite the same way, and there should be respect for that, rather than creating a hostile environment full of debate over who’s faking and who’s legit.
For the folks saying there is a lot of bragging and One-uping going on at the forum and for those agreeing with them by liking their posts, can you provide links to the numerous posts you are referring to?
I read a lot of posts where folks receive tremendous feedback, support and a show of effort to support. I realize their are individuals with different personalities and contributions.
You guys are the ones that always complain about the rest of the posters here.
No problem with pointing out the point of the thread. But what are you backing your assertions up with? Links?
I do not see this forum as a place full of negative members.
It bothers me that a group of members say there are A Lot of posters One-uping and bragging about their delusions.
There are a lot of members here whom I count on to lift my day and challenge me to interact.
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