Only doing what you want

I live in an apartment building alone. I got a notice yesterday there will be inspections Tuesday. I have not cleaned my apartment much recently. It needs about four hours worth cleaning and my back is not too good. I have had a hard time during the pandemic. And I know everyone says that, mentally ill or not, but I’ve had a harder time, the hardest in my entire life and I’ve been ill since 1987. So I was thinking I wouldn’t clean so I could get kicked out into the street and jump into the river. But now things are really looking up and I see I have an opportunity to make something out of myself after all. But I’m used to having no responsibility and can’t get off my butt and clean. And I’m still traumatized by what I just went through. Will I ever clean? Or will I just sit and read books, which is the laziest activity you can do if you’re good at it.

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I think reading takes a lot of skill that I know I can’t do since becoming ill. And good that you do self care that way. Lacking drive to clean is not your fault. Keep trying in your own way.
Some people use the ‘fly lady’ website methods. Doesn’t help me much but worth a try

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I also live alone,Im 46 and used to “lick” my floor when I was younger.Now I have problem realizing my flat is messy…
Since epidemic started,I stopped cleaning so often,and since nobody is coming begun not to care at all.
But if the cleaning requires only four hours,dont see why it would be a problem.

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Clean. Just tackle it a little at a time. Do a little, rest, and treat yourself to a coke or something as a reward. The first step is the hardest but once you start cleaning you’ll build up a little momentum and it will be a little easier and you’ll get things done.

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I agree with @77nick77 .

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@Jinx I think a lot of us are in the same boat. Maybe just explain that your back prevents you from cleaning right now.

In the past, when I felt like I really needed to clean off the coffee table for instance, I would just put everything in a garbage bag and tuck it out of sight. Then when people left, I could dig out the things I wanted

Of course now, I just tell them my back hurts and go ■■■■ yourself LOL

As for myself, I have a guitar and television. Guess what I do all day

I practice guitar 40 minutes most every day. I’m taking it to the park in the spring. Maybe I’ll meet a girl!

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