You know, my pdoc is ok to try to lower a bit the zyprexa… On 10 mgs i started to become so oppressed, that i lost even my appetite, not able to swallow even… Its another hell tbh… Plus my sz is strange, so now we try the 7,5 mgs… But on day 3, i feel more anxious, more racing thoughts… It calmed down now, but i literally couldnt stop thinking one hour ago 
…
Will i get used to the smaller dose? Maybe its harder around this third, forth day precisely?
I’ll see how it goes those days…
7,5 mgs of zyp is still good, isnt it?
But which day was the hardest one when you were lowering? I guess ill get used to it, isnt it?
But really, i was in pain on 10 mgs… It wasnt normal either …
Did you have it bad when lowering, but it went fine after some time, please share?
Hey, would you lower your ap if you were in pain from it?
I guess i should learn how to suffer isnt it?.. Tbh, i made bad things in the past and sometimes, it feels like i cant pardon myself still… In fact, my paranoia is very sz oriented… I am in shame by it… I am paranoid even from the other ill people, from the pdocs, all related to this diagnosis… I guess i’ll be at my house still at my worst… But will i be able to overcome those shitty thoughts and feeling on my own, just with a medium dose of zyprexa? Yeah, still not believing in myself…
But i tried 11 aps for the last ten years and none of them didnt help… I am on zyprexa only in order to be on my feet and be able to eat and sleep, thats the truth…
I am alone tonight again… I know its a hard illness, but maybe its better to suffer in order to be sabotaged by too much meds, cause too disabling from one point, no? …
and yeah, sometimes, i am in some complex, which blocks me from being happy and in shame and paranoia…
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