The cia is vetting, hazing and training me.
2 Likes
When I was 24 hours away from being involuntarily hospitalized I believed something similar.
So I’d say you’re possibly en route to becoming a danger to yourself or others.
All I can suggest is be 100% honest with your psychiatrist that you believe this. (They’ve heard it all before so don’t worry).
2 Likes
What country you from? If you are in the USA there’s a zero chance the CIA is using mind control or whatever else you may think.
USA mannnn… I’ve felt like this for years on and off.
2 Likes
It’s all bogus. I thought I was being recruited telepathically by the secret services when it was happening to me. Bogus.
1 Like
I have never narrowed it down to an agency. I just blame the government.
I would work for the CIA though. I think that would be cool. I have a military background but my physical fitness isn’t what it once was.
I work for the government now. So I am partially to blame.
2 Likes
I remember thinking it was a secret society working within the government, but I had bunch of different theories that played into this one grand theory I was working on before being diagnosed and hospitalized. Scary shĂt, but none of it was real.
The CIA doesnt hire anyone with a mental illness. So I guarantee no chance you are working for the cia.
When you want to survive sz you need to learn to let go. Don’t give it serious importance otherwise you can be in serious trouble. You know its a delusion. Don’t stress about it. You watch to many movies. Read or watch something realistic like a human history or states of the world. You feed yourself with BS. Get a garden to care about.
Why would they be vetting, hazing and training you?
I wanted to avoid this thread. I would say your 9/10 delusional. I had similar beliefs years ago. I did work for them in a past life. I’m a Christian now. I’m 100 lbs overweight, a chronic smoker, I’m weak, I’m dying a slow, self-inflicted death via schizophrenia, and I drink energy drinks. Never learned karate or was trained, really. I feel like memories are leaking from a parallel universe or something.
You are right. They dont or are not supposed to hire or work with mentally ill people. In my opinion, it is too risky.
When I am about to feel psychotic/lose touch of reality, I still feel I’m in the CIA, even though I’m not. It’s a delusion. I’m probably scared of them anyways. I reject these thoughts and delusions. Its dangerous anyways. I feel like it stems from a past life from 2011 in college. I was normal before that. Just an average college student who ended up mentally ill.
I have memories in a past life of selling my soul to the CIA for eternity. I guess I felt good and protected. I was in the illuminati and left or got kicked out. Selling your soul is very real. People dont understand.
Maybe God from the bible has my soul. Not sure. I love him.
It’s pretty much a certainty that this is not the case. But you had enough sense of yourself to seek the opinion of others.
I had a bit of a similar downward spiral of thinking a few weeks ago. Those paranoid delusions are tough to kick, and they can get really, really bad.
One thing I noticed was the more I let my delusion heighten my sense of self-importance, the more that I felt that sense of paranoia. Which makes sense - important people have a lot more attention on them.
So maybe approach it from that angle?
- What do you bring to the table that the CIA would require?
- Is the value of that thing so strong that they would completely break protocol just for you, given that a bit of research on the topic would show that generally they recruit from colleges or the military via the teachers/officers who spot talent.
- One of the notable delusions are delusions of reference - the idea that there are messages in things everyone can see that are specifically meant for you.
So what’s more likely - that you are so important to the CIA that they would do things totally different from their entire history of recruitment operations just for you, or that you are having a delusion of reference?
If you want an exercise that helped me with some of these ideas, take a coin, stare at it, and then make yourself feel more positive about it. Think about how it might have brought joy to other people, etc. Then switch and think more negatively about it. Think about how it is dirty or old and represents base desires. Then come back to just thinking of it as a normal coin. The coin doesn’t change at all, but your experience of it does. You can do this same exercise with how important or unimportant the coin is, or even both at the same time - important and positive, not important but still positive, important and negative, not-important and negative.
You can also do it with things that aren’t coins. Including how you feel about yourself or the reality around you. It’s tough at first, and initially it’s hard to control, especially as you spiral in on negative thoughts that just snowball. But I practiced it with the coin every day for a few weeks and noticed I was better able to apply the technique to my thoughts - it ended up being a skill just like any other that got easier with practice.
I guess it’s a bit like lucid dreaming while awake. Unlike in a dream you can’t change the physical reality around you, but you can change how you experience that reality. And just like when you are dreaming and have a nightmare that would otherwise get worse and worse, but then the skills of lucid dreaming help take over and change the dream, I’ve been finding more and more that I’m able to change my perspective about things in my day to day with some effort.
That said, it would still be prudent to talk to your psychiatrist about these delusions. Changing drugs/dosages can help a great deal in reducing the “range” of what your mind experiences about reality, which is important if you find yourself spiraling out of control.
1 Like
I actually applied in 2014. I’m thinking they don’t have the most traditional vetting process. It has been five years though. I think it’s probably just a delusion.
1 Like
Just for fun:
How do you think they recruit and vet? How long would it take? What skills are they looking for in recruits?
1 Like
I say drop it and stop thinking about it. Move on. It’s a 9/10 delusion. Probably a fantasy.
I went to the CIA website and couldn’t find much about the requirements. You just submit your resume and you undergo a background check.
Everything I’ve heard about it though not sure this is entirely true. A college degree would help. They are probably looking for people who know certain languages. Being in the military would help. They do hire people with disabilities according to the website.
Also being pretty sharp and not a blabbermouth would help.
1 Like
I mean I’ve read all about the official hiring process. It just doesn’t seem like that’d be the way they do it. I think they’d want to know everything about a recruit.
1 Like
I think you might have to have a top secret clearance in the CIA. I’m not entirely sure. In the military to get a top secret clearance someone from the FBI goes to your school and talks to your teachers. Also they talk to your neighbors to see what type of person you are like.
I never talk to my neighbors. I’m not sure what the teachers would say. It just doesn’t seem like that’s me enough for vetting a CIA officer. I dont know I’m probably just delusional.
1 Like
So I can tell you exactly how it happens because I know people that have been approached and it’s always the same way.
Generally it’s college students in language studies programs that are relevant. One was my high school’s Chinese teacher who was approached by a professor when she was in college. She turned down the offer.
Sometimes journalists will get approached if they are doing work in a relevant country.
If you are an active member of the military with outstanding marks in a relevant area, you might be approached.
Every approach I’ve heard of is an in-person approach by someone the potential recruit already knows.
As others have mentioned, red flags would be mental illness, financial burdens, or any sort of thing that could be used as leverage, and yes they would typically run a basic background check before approach and then if a recruit is interested and says “yes” they run a much more detailed look into that person and their associations.
The CIA operates not much different from any other organization except for the security clearance stuff and a bit more rigorous background checks. So if you applied and didn’t hear back, it’s as unlikely that they are conducting some secret operation to recruit you as the idea that any average company you applied to and didn’t hear back is doing the same thing.
From all reports it’s a very bureaucratic place to work and the popular media glitz and glam is extremely far from the truth. There’s a reason the people that work in or around it colloquially refer to it as “the company.”
So I guess in a sense they DO put subliminal messages out there to recruit people - it’s just not targeted to you specifically, but to everyone by encouraging films or shows about how exciting and awesome it would be to work there. Like most crappy places to work, ex-CIA people seem to have a great fondness for their coworkers but not so much for the institution itself.
2 Likes