Schizophrenia.com

Okay, i don't care anymore


#1

Fine, im sick, schizophrenia is a disease, it’s not anything else, i saw pan and shadow people for no reason at all, my chemical imbalance shocked the living ■■■■ out of me while a fanged face made of light appeared, my chemical imbalance burned my hand and left two marks while another face appeared.

My chemical imbalance makes me look at the clock at the same times repeatedly.

I saw what people call an alien because of my chemical imbalance, and a ufo, and a ghost, and a being made of light, it was all just my chemical imbalance.

Im sick.

Im sick.

Im sick.

Im sick.

Im sick.

Im sick.

Im sick.

Im sick.

Im sick.

Im sick.

Im sick.

Im sick.

Im sick.

Im sick.

Im sick.

Im sick.

Im sick.

Im sick.

Im sick.

Im sick.

Im sick.

Im sick.

Im sick.

Im sick.

Im sick.


#2

sorry things are bad for you right now sending lovexxxx


#3

hope you are feeling better today.
take care


#4

Hold on pan. Better times are coming.


#5

i dont think you are sick, i think you are in alternate state of being.


#6

Whatever it is or was I think you should experience things in your own way as long as it doesn’t get in your way of living. Who’s to say?


#7

I hope you find relief soon.


#8

It’s not that exactly, an alternate state of being doesn’t suffice.

Like at the bus stop during my torture, on my way back to what i thought was home, they were in my mind tormenting me about my little sister.

She lives in their world they said, they had power over her they said, and they didn’t mean well whatsoever.

That just can’t be called an alternate state of being at all.

They don’t torture shaman, im no shaman, shaman experience alternate states, a demon speaking to you in horrible ways is not an alternate state.

Like this one time, they hounded me for a bit and didn’t allow me sleep, it was terrifying having them in my face, smelling the sulfur even, i thought “maybe ill tell someone, maybe they can help me somehow.” As soon as i thought it they got in my face saying something like “you better shut the ■■■■ up about us or we’ll ■■■■■■■ hurt you so bad you will wish you had never lived.”

Naturally i just stayed quiet. But no, this is not an alternate state at all, schizophrenic or shamanic, neither.


#9

pans, have u ever thought that ur mind may have splintered into differing personalities…ghost like personalities. that would give them the power to leave marks on ur body. that’s what i think my voices r, just splinters of my own mind. i don’t believe in the chemical imbalance theory either but i do believe in fragmented minds. just something to ponder. let me know what u think xxx


#10

ok pan.

try to burn white sage, too clear out any negativity.

hope it will help


#11

No, im not burning sage for them, they love sage, im not offering them a gift.


#12

well it smells a bit better than sulfur


#13

I too believe my voices are demonic in nature. In that respect, ive found that a strong spiritual connection with God (and a steady regimen of medication) have helped me immensely. When I get beset by demons I simply throw all my being into prayer and it shuts them out.

Have you tried prayer? If you believe in demons, you must be willing to believe in a god. It couldn’t hurt to try. Ive found my demons are laughably weak compared to God. They know this too, and they are terrified of God. They feed off my fearand anger at them, but when i trust in God I have no reason to be scared or angry.


#14

I saw a shadow person once. It was surreal like a black fire being. It was in an unconscious state but it woke me up. I felt sleep paralysis but I was out of my body standing next to it and in my doorway was this being. The light was on behind it. I managed to utter the words ‘its you’ which broke my paralysis. Then woosh the being retreated the door closed the light went off. I was returned to my body and I woke up. I used hear it in my house a lot. Just ■■■■■■■ with my. Making a hissing sound as it moved across my room. Once it dropped something on me I felt the weight of it. It fell to the floor and made the sound of a track baton falling on concrete even though it was carpet. I was young in those days but I always believed in some sort of supernatural beings I wanted to know them and somehow I guess I got their attention. I know its not practical to give these things credit beyond hallucinations but you say shadow people and that is what I think of. They might be real, but I am also schizophrenic.