Last night I was going to go to bed, I close my eyes, and this random image of some black guy pops up. like it was a picture of him, I was like ok… whos that. then my voices immediately chime in, Thats Pierre Johnson. hes a homosexual.
then my voices yelled at me to stop listening to them and that they wern’t even talking to me and that it was none of my business. and if I didn’t stop listening they would block my brain from learning math…
jeez la weez why can’t I have a normal brain.
anyway that was my random glitch. havn’t had much like that in a while.
I was feeling extremely tired and de-motivated the past few days, and before that I definitely felt a bit strange like I was just kind of floating around.
anyway things are getting back to normal. felt like venting/sharing
I get horrifying images often, when I close my eyes. Even for just a second to blink. They can be so disturbing I want to vomit. I don’t even know why they’re disturbing sometimes, because they’re often just shapes and distorted faces.
Sometimes I make myself keep my eyes closed an just face them. I don’t know why this happens… it makes it hard for me to go to sleep.
I never had voices that accompany them, like you have. I wish I had an answer for this.
Praying and rebuking the images helps.
Sometimes I wonder if we pick up on things people who are high or drunk meditate on and see it because we need to pray or ground ourselves because of holes in our aura. I go thru long period where because of these images i will totally silently stop believing in god and or praying altogether.
I sometimes see pornographic full body sexual acts of the men i love with other women. I have seen man on man homosexuality and that makes me uncomfortable because I am straight. I feel like running away from home and using drugs and loosing all faith in humanity. Then there are times i see faces of death stuff, violent things and I wonder where is this coming from and if its coming from me i can hardly like myself anymore. I start to hate who.I am because of it and I blame myself and feel out of control.
I think mine is based on an old belief (which I don’t believe in anymore) that my brain could receive information from somewhere (maybe the universe?) in a way that others couldn’t.
so that lingering thought could potentially be a way for my sensitive mind to try and trick me back into believing in this idea whichever way it can.
like heres an example. I couldn’t help but look up that name on google images. and low and behold its a black guy on the first image. obviously it is just coincedence and that name could easily be a common name for an african american person but I don’t know.
anyway the less I think about it the less it can affect me. So I just I leave it all alone no matter if it seems good or bad or believable or not.
About the universe, i can totally agree that I believe images can come from the universe and i guess all i can do is creat my own images i am sure you have done that before too right? Sometimes i take those images and put them on a a gold platter and hand them to god.
